A Lifetime of Spring Times
by Miaka77j
Summary: Primarily after Mockingjay, though the first few chapters will cover some things towards the end. This will stay canon, and it is a story of love, hope, and rebuilding, told through Katniss and Peeta's POV. Rated T for now, but may get bumped up to M at a later date, depending on how the story unfolds.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, friends! I hope you enjoy this first chapter of a story that is sitting around in my head. I do not own The Hungers Games, or any of the characters. Thank you Susanne Collins for creating such wonderful worlds and people that I cannot let go of!**

A Lifetime of Spring Times 

My world was coming to an end. Sitting in this white room, with my arms and legs tightly secured, I came in and out of sedation. Whenever my mind would be clear enough to remember, _really remember_, I would start to thrash and scream until someone would come in and put the needle back in me.

My sleep was full of nightmares, but I was fairly used to that. In the past, my nightmares were reliving certain parts of the Games; the parts that would haunt me as long as I lived. Lived. What a joke that was. When was I actually allowed to really live since I volunteered two, almost three, years ago? Everyone told me how to "live" after that. How to play up for the sponsors, how to be in love, how to dress, who to kill. In my mind, I saw it as a small price to pay to save my sister. Prim. Prim is who fills my nightmares now.

Sweet girl, untucked shirt, walking into a death trap. Her need to help, to heal everyone who was hurting, no matter what side of the line she was on, that is what got her killed. In the end, it wasn't the games, it was the new government who started to tell me how to "live". It could have been my best friend who orchestrated the end result. Her being there I don't think was in his plan, but I think the plan of killing children, of not caring the costs as long as the bottom line was achieved, well I know he would have been okay with that.

Gale. How long gone those days seem. They were so distant in my memory; the walks through the woods, the hunting, the companionship. I found out he loved me at one point, and maybe in another time, if situations were different, I would have been able to love him back. I can't answer that though, just as I have never been able to answer that question. When I think back, I know I loved him to a point, as a sister. Our families were almost blended as one, taking care of each other. I always became uncomfortable when the subject of a future with Gale was brought up, because I wasn't sure how I should react. This was of course after the games, when my future was already being predetermined by many things.

I had done many things over the last couple of years; some good, some bad, and some very bad. I have lied, hurt people, and became a figurehead for hope and rebellion. I am not sure how that last one took place, because of all things, I am not a hopeful person. I am just me, a broken girl with a broken spirit, a victor of one game and a survivor of another. My mind automatically thinks of the one person who also knows what it was like to live through those, who was also broken due to me and the Capitol. The boy who should have led the revolution, who should have taken my spot in the arena to be saved. A memory sticks in my head, something said to me from my mentor before we entered the arena for the Quarter Quell, "_You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve that boy." _

My heart surges when I think of him. He was the one the Capitol designed me to love, forcing me into a decision I wasn't prepared to make. He loved me, there was no doubt, but for me, during the first games, it was mostly survival. I think I started to develop feelings, someone in the recess of my soul, during those first games. It was hard to think about now, but thinking is the one thing I have all the time in the world to do. I remember the cave, where I thought he would die, and I risked my life to save his. I remember his taking care of me afterwards, my head wound more serious than I tried to play it off. I remember the berries, oh the berries that started it all. Some thought it was an act of love, some an act of rebellion, for me it was both, now that I really think about it. I knew I couldn't go back without him; we grew a bond in that cave, an unspoken promise that we entered together and would leave together. Even if leaving didn't mean the arena and meant leaving our lives, it didn't matter. I remember telling him that some of what happened there was an act. The hurt that was so clear in his ocean eyes, it felt like one of Clove's knives piercing my heart. I dreaded that moment in District 12, where I would have to let his hand go and knowing at that point we would go our separate ways.

We played for the cameras, but once they were gone, there was a coldness between us. I couldn't blame him, really, for feeling betrayed. Once the cameras were back, we came together again, but it wasn't the same. I didn't think it would ever be the same. The tour happened, we got engaged, again not for ourselves, but for the Capitol. We realized we were never getting off this tour, this train, and I once again saw the hurt that he was going through. It was one thing to be in love with someone, but another thing all together when your relationship is a farce. Was it a farce for me though? Wasn't I willing to die for him, to protect him at all costs? How was I continuously the one hurting him? My guard was too far up for me to understand what feelings I could have for him. When he started sleeping with me in my room, to help with the nightmares, I finally came to understand what peace I could have. I understood feeling safe in the arms of someone else. It was a soft, sweet, feeling, even if I didn't understand it at the time.

Then came the Quarter Quell. Worlds again turned upside down, thrust back into the spotlight as a Tribute once more. Haymitch and I together couldn't keep him out, but I was determined that he would be the one going home. He deserved happiness, a life full of spring times and love. Haymitch promised me he would focus on him this time, and I thought it was true by the way others were making sure he stayed alive. The moment he hit the force field and Finnick saved him. I lost my mind in that moment, finally letting down my guard and allowing the pain of losing him to come over me. It's amusing to remember Finnick telling me that was when he actually started to believe the story of the star-crossed lovers from District 12, in that moment when I was inconsolable. Finnick knew before I did that my feelings for Peeta went beyond an act. The Morphling who sacrificed herself to save him, and those gentle moments he had with her when he held her for her final slumber.

One moment I revisit in my mind when I need to calm down is the beach. That was really our last real moment together before we were split apart. We decided to not play the games and spend that moment being ourselves. He tried so hard to convince me that I was the one who had to go home, showing me the locket he had Effie make him. Pictures of my family, and Gale, a symbol of a future family that I could have if I could walk out as victor. He said no one needed him back home, and that he would have nothing. I understood, in that moment, that my feelings were not an act, and being that I knew I was going to die in the next 24 or 48 hours, I needed him to know that too. I remember telling him I needed him, and to prove it, I kissed him in a way that one can only do when the feelings are real. Real. It wasn't just one kiss, and as each kiss happened, my truth poured into him. I looked into his blue eyes, seeing his face searching mine, trying to determine if it was for the cameras. I saw the realization wash over them, finally understanding that I did need him, and I was starting to finally love him. The Capitol may have forced us together, but what they didn't expect was that no matter what, Peeta could never be a product of the Capitol. He played the games on his terms, and never let them change him into something he wasn't.

I remember waking up the next morning, a surge of sweetness washing over me and knowing it had to do with Peeta. With limited time left to live, I had decided that I wasn't going to keep him out any longer. I knew I had nothing to lose, and if Peeta deserved the lifetime of happiness, I deserved these next few hours.

After that things become blurry. I know in the end, I was rescued, he was captured. He was tortured while I filmed rebellion videos. His mind was taken from him until he didn't remember things as they actually happened and hated me above all others. He was rescued, but possibly only because my sanity could not hold on the longer he was kept there. Those blue eyes that once stared into mine with love now stared back with just the opposite. I knew I loved him, but I couldn't tell him and I couldn't show him. I wasn't allowed to see him after he attacked me, and after a while they were able to get him back enough to be released into the general public of 13, but he still did not trust me. I remember thinking that maybe this would be for the best, maybe he would be able to move on from me and find someone who was not as damaged. Selfishly, I hated myself as much as he hated me though. His pain, his confusion, all of it was my fault. I failed to protect him in that arena. If I hadn't gone, stayed with him, we could have gotten out together.

The final mission, the one where he came in, still unsure of himself and being used as a pawn in Coin's game is where the pieces really started to come back together. Real or not real? That was the game for him, to help him get back on track. You could see when he started to lose him mind, and it was work to get him back, but in the end, he started to be able to understand the truth about the hijacking. We lost loved ones on that mission. It was all still so painful to think about.

I know I made the right decision in shooting Coin. She and I had an odd relationship from the beginning, and I knew her plans were to use me and then throw me out. I was still the Girl on Fire, and you have to be able to contain fire. She really was no different than Snow. She sent Prim to her death, she wanted to orchestrate another Game for the Capitol children. Of course, I agreed in the room, because in that moment I knew what would have to be done. I wanted her to think that I was on her side, and I think the only one who knew what I was doing was Haymitch. We have always had a deep understanding of each other, knowing each other's unspoken thoughts and motivation. I aimed true, that shot that ended Coin's life. I don't quite know what happened afterwards, everything moved so quickly, and I have been in this room ever since.

I have seen only seen hospital people since I have been here. I long to see Peeta, or my mom. Mostly I long to see Peeta. He would be able to comfort me, take me out of my nightmares. I feel selfish, since I know I was the cause and the subject of so many of his. In this sterile room, strapped to a bed, being fed by tubes so I can't be freed, my guards finally come down. I realize how much I love him, how much I need him. I scream his name over and over until someone comes in and puts a needle in the familiar spot and I can go back into my nightmares. As I am fading out this time, with the doors opening and closing, I can sort of hear a commotion going on out of them. I hear something, someone, yelling. It sounds like he is yelling my name, but it is so hard to concentrate, the drugs taking hold of my mind. I slowly turn my head and I see blond hair, soft curls, being held by two people. I see his mouth moving, forming my name. The clarity comes to me then and I know who it is. It's Peeta, yelling for me, trying to get to me. He is being held back, but I don't know why. I start screaming his name and trying to break free, but I know this is only in my mind. The drugs make it so I can't move, I can't yell. I know he can see me, so I mouth his name and tears start to fall. I can't tell if he is angry, or if he still wants to kill me. Maybe that is why they are holding him back, but in the end, aren't they just going to kill me anyways? Another public execution, always for the crowds. At this moment, I would gladly die by his hands, if that was what he wanted. I am so tired of the fighting, the hurting, the needles, the deceptions. I watch him for as long as I can, the tears falling, my eyes slowly closing. 

**So this is the end of the first chapter, or chapter 0 really, for my story. Please let me know what you thought and if you would like me to continue! Reviews do help with getting motivated (it is very true) and I would like to know what you all think! My current idea is to do the first chapter through Katniss's POV and then the second through Peeta's, so we know what is going on in both of their minds (I have always wondered really just what he thinks about in many moments). Thank you for taking the time to read this, and again, please let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 1 - Peeta's POV

A Life time of Spring Times

**Hello, again! Thank you very much for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it so far. This chapter will take place around the same time, but from Peeta's POV. I hope I can do him some justice. Per the disclaimer, I do not own The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins does. I do own some Converse shoes, however.**

Chaos is surrounding me as I try to process what is happening. First, there was the meeting with all of the survivors. I would say victors, as we had all won at least one game, but really we were all survivors. Victors should have a sense of pride, and honestly, I don't know if any of us had pride in what we had done, just for the chance to go home again.

Home. That place was such a far off memory for me. My understanding was that my home, my district, my family was no more. I could feel the anxiety, the aggression, starting to rise when I thought of my family, murdered. The Capitol wanted me to think it was because of the girl sitting across from me. The Girl on Fire caused the fire bombings to happen, destroying homes and people. Her family made it out, to District 13. Her _cousin_ made it out, bringing certain people with him, but not my family.

"No!" I yelled in my head. I know this wasn't the truth, this was not real. I wanted to ask her now, the girl across the table, if it was real; if she caused it all. I couldn't do that now though, not now. Looking at her, you could see so much pain. I could feel it radiating from her. Her sister was just killed, also by fire, and I can't think she would have done that. "Not real, not real, not real." I just kept repeating this in my head, over and over, looking down at the table and wondering why we were all here. I looked up once I felt that most of the anxiety was gone and I could see her looking at me, sadness in her eyes.

Coin walked in and gave some speech about what was going to happen and then stated that she wanted to put forth a vote to have one more, very special, Hunger Games. The Capitol children were never reaped, and she wanted to put them through that. I could feel it rise again, and I knew there was no way that this would ever pass. How could any of us want anyone else, a child, to experience what we have? We were all so damaged; how could we inflict this damage onto anyone else? Haven't enough people already paid the highest price? The voting begins and I throw in my vote for no. This has to end here and now. A couple others also so no, but then I hear a yes. Enobaria, from District 2, has put her vote in. District 2 never saw the Games as we did, so this really doesn't surprise me. Johanna also agrees, and knowing what she went through at the hands of the Capitol, I understand why she would have said yes. I know Katniss would never agree, and that would be the majority, so I start to calm down.

She seems to be silent, staring at the table, playing with her braid, her brows furrowed in thought. Finally she looks up, grey eyes determined, and says the one word I didn't think she would say. Yes. Anger surges through me, memories of videos shown to me during my captivity, her destroying and killing, and still destroying even more. Maybe it could be real. She says it is for Prim, but her sister was a healer, she would never want her death to mean more deaths. Haymitch follows suit, agreeing with her. I am not surprised because hasn't he always pretty much agreed with her? I start to argue, but it has been decided. For a moment, her eyes meet mine, and there seems to be a message in them, something she wants me to know, but can't say. Haymitch pulls me out of the room when it is over. I know that Katniss has to get ready for Snow's execution.

"Listen. I know this is hard for you," he begins softly, "but trust her. You and I both know, though maybe I know better than you, that there is a reason she said yes. She hated the Games more than anything. She hated what it did to Rue, to Prim, to everyone who has died and even everyone who made it out. Most of all, I can tell you she hated what it did to you. Her plan was never to get out of that arena. You know this is real. She was ready to die to protect you. When she woke up and realized you were in the hands of the Capitol, she left me with these parting gifts." He brushes his hair away from his face to show me the scars going down. "Kid, you may not realize it, but that girl went crazy without you. So, for whatever reason she said yes for, I know she doesn't mean it, but there is something else going on."

"Haymitch, I'm sorry. You're right, there is a lot I still don't know and I don't understand. I don't know how I can feel so angry with her and also feel like I want to wrap her in my arms and not let her go. I don't know why she said yes, but I started thinking of all the videos I was shown and how she liked the killing, she jumped into things with the sole purpose to end lives."

"That's not real, kid. She saves lives." Haymitch shook his head slowly and sadly. "I'm not one for fancy words, but I can help you try to regain some of your memory back. I can show you videos of our training, during the first games, when you first told me how you felt about her. How you loved her since you were 5 and she sang. These are your words. Your interview, where you spoke about you loving her. I can show you how things really happened. I know they showed you some of this in 13, but maybe you need to sit with someone who went through it with you."

Music can be heard and we know that the ceremony has begun. "C'mon, do you want to go back to my room, or do you think you can face the crowd?" Haymitch asks me gently.

"I need to go. I want to see her and be near her." I answered in return. Given our status, we are lead into the balcony area where Katniss is standing, bow in hand. I hear the crowds, some words, but really all I can see is her. She looks at Snow, bound in the middle, no escaping for him. I feel an energy, a connection to her, and almost as soon as I thought it, she seems to glance in my direction. She aims her bow at Snow, time seems to stand still, and all of a sudden it isn't Snow that is falling over, but Coin.

The world seem to go still before it all broke out. People were running, trampling, but all I could see was her. She seemed to be trying to reach for something on her shoulder and before I could even think about what I was doing I pushed past and placed my hand over the spot where her mouth was trying to reach. I felt her teeth go into my skin, expecting it to be cloth, to get the pill that would end her life. She turns around, shocked, yelling at me to let her go. Letting her go means letting her die, and there is no way I can do that. I don't care about real or not real, what she has or hasn't done. This is Katniss, and this is my Katniss. I can't let her go.

"I can't." I whisper to her as they come up and grab her away. I feel the pocket rip and the pill fall to the ground. I see it crushed underneath feet and she is being taken farther away. I try to follow, but Haymitch takes me by the arm and leads me into the other direction.

"Haymitch, let me go! I have to save her! They are going to kill her!" I thrash against him, and almost get away when I feel a needle go into my arm. Once again, I am being subdued. I feel weaker and everything seems to fade.

I wake up in my room with Haymitch watching over me. I try to move, but it's hard. I am not tied down, which brings me relief, but I don't understand what happened.

"Welcome back." He says with a hint of sarcasm. "Before you start talking, I am going to tell you a few things. Katniss is alive. She is being kept in the hospital. There will be a trial where she will be charged with the assassination of Coin. We are going to do our best to get her off on an insanity charge. I have already talked to Plutarch, and her doctor, and we think there is a good chance that this can be done. You can't see her, so don't ask. She is not allowed any visitors, and if she is found not guilty, she will be taken out of here immediately."

I sit up and take it all in. "Why can't I see her?" All I want is to go to her, to see her, and protect her. I want to hold her in my arms. I fear the trial, fear they will want to kill her for her rebellion. I find the irony in the fact that it was the rebellion that made them love her, and now it was that same rebellion that could potentially mean her death. I didn't care if they said I wasn't going to be able to see her. I was going to find a way and I was going to get her out of there before someone could decide her fate. I was not going to lose her again. I asked Haymitch to leave, telling him I just wanted to be alone. I had to find a way to get to her, and his staring at me wasn't going to help. I also knew he was not going to help. I couldn't think of anyone who would assist me.

A day later I decide that simpler is better. I know how the hospitals work, and night would be the best time to go. I would find her room, get her out, and we would just try to walk out into the Capitol. I grabbed a bag, dressed in dark clothing, put a pair of sleeping pants and a hooded sweatshirt for her. She easily has the most recognizable face in Panem, so it may not be as easy as I think. I am not going to give up on her, or me. I know I cannot live in a world without her and I am not leaving it up to chance.

I easily make it to the hospital ward, and when I do, I see the nurse at the front desk. "Can I help you?" she asks, looking at me.

"Yes, I am here to see Annie Cresta." I knew that Annie had been staying in the hospital since our reunion here. I also figured since they were going for an insanity plea, Katniss would probably be near Annie.

"Visiting hours have ended some time ago." The nurse told me, "But I know who you are, and who Annie is, so I am sure it won't be a problem with letting you in." She smiled sweetly as she hit the buzzer and let me through the doors to the psychiatric area. I smiled a thank you and went on my way.

I went down a hallway, white and sterile, finding it hard to keep myself composed. I kept thinking of things that calmed me; baking bread in the morning, the smell of Katniss's hair, the feel of her lips. I was looking through door windows trying to find the right room when I heard a sound coming from down the hall. I walk faster as I start to make out what it is. It's my name. She is screaming my name. I start to run to the sound, as fast as I can, when I see doctors running around the corner. The door opens, and the sound is so clear, my name coming from her mouth so loudly. I yell her name in return so she knows I am here for her, that I hear her. I am taken by the arms by two men when I reach the door which has been left open.

She is strapped down, unable to move. They have already sedated her, but I can see her eyes as they stare at me. She has stopped screaming, but tears run down her face and I see her lips moving. She is mouthing my name, over and over, until the last tear falls and her eyes close. It is all I can take and I start trying to get away from the men holding me. All of a sudden, Haymitch appears, his eyes red from sleep. They release me to him with promises that it won't happen again. As soon as we get out of the hospital, he starts to yell at me.

"What do you think you were doing? I told you that you wouldn't be able to see her! Are you trying to get her killed? Seriously, kid, of all the stupid things to do; did you think you would just be able to walk out with her? First, she killed the President. Second, you two have the most seen faces of this entire country. I need you to think, kid, not be an idiot!" I cannot recall ever seeing Haymitch this angry, and his words made sense. He didn't stop there though. "Also, what if you relapsed into an episode seeing how she is? What if you did make it out, and you have an episode and attack her? Are you going to kill her?"

These words stop me cold. I wasn't thinking of that, of how dangerous it would be to have just me and Katniss alone together. Didn't I almost kill her a couple of times? What if we were alone? This seems to sober me up and I go back into my room and lock the door. When I stopped her from killing herself with the pill, it was because I knew I would not be able to live without her. Now I was starting to realize that I was going to have to let her live a life without me because I could be the biggest danger to her. I curled up in a ball on my bed, willing myself not to cry, and wondering how the hell I was going to be able to let her go.

**Okay! Done with Chapter 1 from both perspective! I hope you all have liked it, and yes, it will get better and less angst ridden at some point. They are just still so broken at this point, and I don't think it is going to get better in the next couple of chapters at least. However, please read and review if you like it and would like to see it continued! I enjoy reviews, and I would certainly like to know what you all think of the story as well! **


	3. Chapter 2

_Hello everyone! It has been a bit since I have updated, and I apologize; work was pretty crazy this week and sometimes life takes over. I hope you are enjoying the story so far, and please, please, leave a review telling me what you think! This brings very positive energy and helps me to write faster (true story), but also lets me know what you thought about it. Per normal, I do not own The Hungers Games or any characters. Suzanne Collins does, and she is pretty awesome._

Katniss

It seemed like forever since I had seen anyone I have recognized, and I have long since stopped fighting. Haymitch, Peeta, Gale, Johanna, hell, even my own mother, hasn't been to see me, and I am not sure if it is because I am already dead, or because they just don't want to. I have resigned to my fate. I realized my life and my own personal hell would bring me to constantly reliving the Games, and this is no different. Sterile and full of needles is how I spend my time.

Every once in a while, a Doctor comes in, though I haven't paid him much attention. At first, he tried to talk to me, but I was never one for talking. Times after that he would just sit in the corner and watch me not moving, just staring. It became a comfortable relationship, though I would never admit to finding comfort in another person being in a room with me, especially with it being a Capitol person.

One day I am told it is over, I am free. Well, as free as I can be. No more white room, needles, stranger in the corner. There was a trial, and I was found to be mentally unstable. What does one do with a mentally unstable person in an unstable new government? Clearly it is to send them back to their original home. District 12. District 12, which was bombed, which barely exists. There are some conditions, of course, like I have to have regular phone contact with the man in the corner. I also know Haymitch would be coming back with me, and some have already returned.

When I first start to think about it, I feel the anxiety of how I would feel going back home; a place that has so many memories. I decided in the end, I am just not going to feel. My job has been done, the revolution complete, I didn't need to be the Mockingjay any longer. I have very little belongings, but as they are put together in preparation to leave, I find myself searching for the only person I want to see. The one I saw one time, as I was being put back to sleep. He is nowhere to be found though, and I leave the Capitol for what I hope will be the last time.

When I arrive, I am surprised to see that renovations have already begun. It isn't much, but people have been working to make the place livable. I am placed into my home and left alone. I don't want to venture out, as feelings wash over me as I sit in my old home. Memories wash over me, moments with my mother and Prim, Gale on the table, Cinna getting me ready for the victory tour, my Prep team placing me in wedding dress after wedding dress. Peeta. When I think of Peeta, my heart hurts in ways that I am unable to deal with.

I hear the door open slowly and familiar steps coming towards me. I am sitting in a chair, covered in a shawl. Haymitch enters the doorway and takes me in.

"Well, Sweetheart, welcome home." He says in his sarcastic drawl. "I see you have cleaned the place up a bit."

"I don't think you need to be talking to me about a clean house." I retort back, not really caring what he thinks.

"Good, I can see there is some fire left. Let me give you some last advice. Pick yourself up and clean up. This whole conditional thing, they need to see that you are going to be stable, well, as stable as you could ever possibly be. I understand, Sweetheart. We all lost a lot, and we have all been put through a lot. You maybe got the worst of it. Life isn't over though, so don't be dead just yet."

I stared at him coldly, not taking in what he was saying. I know he also had his heartaches, and his nightmares that he solved by drinking anything that could help him forget. I couldn't forget. I couldn't forget my mother, and how she wasn't coming back here. I couldn't forget Gale, at one time my best friend, who turned into someone I didn't know anymore. Prim, dear sweet Prim. The one person in the world who I set out to save, but couldn't. How could I forget Peeta? The boy with the bread who saved my life more times than I could count. I could and would never forget him, what the country and I have done to him. If it wasn't for me, he could have had a normal life, maybe. It certainly would not have included a second Games, being captured and tortured by the Capitol, forgetting memories and having them rewritten so he didn't even know what was real or not real.

Haymitch just looked at me and slowly nodded. He knew we were too much alike. He had his liquor, I had my solitude. "Bye, Sweetheart." He said as he walked out the door.

Left alone again, I settled in for what was bound to be a long night, which would lead to a long day, to another long night. I really had no desire to do anything, and decided I just wouldn't. Walking through the house would be too painful, and walking outside would be as well. This spot is where I would remain until finally, I could be released from my own pain.

_Sorry that it wasn't that long, but I still need to do Peeta's POV during this time, and I want to get them both back in District 12. It's kinda a melancholy chapter, but really, it wasn't the best of times for her at that point. So, I hope you can enjoy this chapter, and the next when it is done! Please review and let me know you are reading! Thank you, readers, and see you soon!_


	4. Chapter 2 - Peeta's POV

_Yay for daily updates! Thank you to my two reviewers, you both came after I published, and it made me very happy. Reviews inspire me to keep going, knowing is someone is reading. Trust me, I have my favorite fics, and I get pretty excited when I see there has been an update! So to my reviewers, anyone has put a favorite mark on this story, thank you. Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games, or it's characters. Ms. Collins does. I did get a new microwave yesterday, and that I do own._

Peeta's POV:

I felt myself being dragged back to my room after I tried to see Katniss. I should have known that something like that would happen, and I know I had a blank stare when I received my talk from Dr. Aurelius. He explained to me that watching Prim die, shooting Coin, all of this had really damaged her, and no one would be allowed to see her until after the trial. He assured me that he was going to do what he could to help her, save her even, but no one can interfere with what he needed to do.

I felt myself go cold, trying to understand my feelings. Katniss was in danger, as real as any we faced in the Games. My healing process was helping, understanding that the Capitol hijacked my brain and twisted my memories so I would hate her. Hate seems too easy; I didn't just hate her. I wanted to kill her myself. When I first got back to 13, I couldn't even hear her name without flying into a blind rage. Things changed over time, slowly, and while I am nowhere near perfect, I do know that I loved her immensely. I do know that I care for her now, even if it does confuse me. I couldn't let her die, and would die to protect her, I just don't know why.

Days went by, all seemingly the same. Talks with Haymitch, the Doctor, Johanna, Annie. I wanted to make sense of what was going on around me. Johanna was the easiest to talk to. She had no motives to lie to me, she had been in both The Games and The Capitol with me. She certainly didn't hold back her words, but I felt of all the people she would be the most truthful. There was still a lot about Haymitch I didn't feel I could trust, even if we had improved our relationship. I heard my door open and Johanna walked in, taking the seat across the table from me.

"Hey. How are you holding up?" she asked me while taking a roll off my plate. I stopped fighting her a long time ago when she did things like this.

"Honestly? I don't know. It's strange, because part of me feels like I need to grab Katniss and run, while the other part of me feels almost excited at the prospect that she has really gotten herself into trouble she can't just get out of." I looked down at the floor, upset at my confusion.

She stared at me for a while and then slammed her fist on the table to get my attention. "Look, clearly you haven't been told yet, and that's fine. We'll save that for another day, and oh, I can't wait to see those fireworks," she began, "You have to get out of your own head. You have to stop letting Snow win; the old ways win. We fought too hard, you and I, to get out of our hell. We were both victims, but so was she, Peeta. I know you don't know what's real and not real, but I do, because they didn't take my memories, just my pride. So listen. You listen to me now. You felt things for that girl that I don't know I will be ever able to feel for the rest of my life for anything. I saw you both before this happened, before we were captured, and I knew part of what was going on, but you two wouldn't have known anything except for each other. It was almost sickening." She stuffed the roll in her mouth and seemed to angrily chew, watching my face.

"It was lies, Johanna. It was all lies. The first games, where she pretended to love me to get Sponsors. The Tour with the wedding. The baby, even the baby, it was all lies. How am I supposed to think for a moment that any of it was real?"

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. It almost looked like she wanted to hit me. "I can't believe I have to explain this to you. I'll give you the first games, and even the tour. I wasn't with you there and I really can't comment on what was really going on. I will tell you this though, if she did lie, if she didn't care about you at all during those games, she would have just let you die. You do realize that she didn't have to get you and nurse you back, right? You were as good as dead on that riverbank. I don't know if even she knew what she was doing, but she did it out of caring. The tour was fake? You are talking to someone who went through a tour. I know how it goes. To be honest, there were a lot of us who thought you both were playing it up for the cameras. I know Finnick and I both thought it was bullshit."

I looked at her face, her eyes, trying to determine if she was being true. I knew immediately that she was, because it was Johanna. All the people I have come across since this all started, I knew she was not the one to speak lies. We went through too much, have both experienced too much, and I knew that while we would probably never be best friends, I could trust her. I watched her watching me, slowly chewing, as if each bite was an act of defiance.

She swallowed, understanding that I was not going to say anything yet and continued. "Finnick and I, we talked on the beach. He told me what happened when you hit the force field. He told me how she reacted, the immediate reactions. It wasn't someone playing a game to get people to send her parachutes. It was the reaction of losing someone you love. Fin and I, we both lost people, we know the craziness that comes over you when you lose someone close to you, and that is what she did. We watched you both together with new eyes. He told me some of what was actually going on in District 13 while we were having our "extended holiday". She came to him for guidance. Now, you may be wondering why she would go to him for guidance, and I'm going to tell you since I don't think you are smart enough to pick it up on your own. It was because they also took the one person he loved to join us in our beautiful accommodations. He was with her when 13 wanted her to be the mouthpiece and how she could barely perform up to their expectations. Finnick was one of the most insightful people I knew. He could read people like books, and well, she may as well been a children's book by how easy he was able to read her. I was even so lucky to be her roommate after you pulled your stunt by trying to strangle her. She may not have even realized it herself, but it was clear as day to everyone else how much she loved you. How much your hating her hurt her was quite apparent to me. So before you go getting all homicidal again, or rejoicing in her downfall, try to remember that when you do that, you are letting everything you used to stand against win. I'm not one for happy endings, but if any two people were going to be able to get one, it's you two. Don't waste the chance that not many of us will ever have the capability of having."

I looked down at the floor and I heard her exasperated sigh. She pushed the chair back and started to walk to the door. "Wait," I called out to her, stopping her at the door. "Do you really think she loved me? Do you think she loved me in the same way I supposedly loved her?"

I saw her soften for maybe the only the only time I ever knew her. I saw something like a pained expression go across her face, a fleeting memory. "I can't answer that for you. I think the only one who can would be her. Instead I will tell you what I think. I know she loves you, though maybe not in what capacity. I know she was willing to die, to become another pawn, if it meant getting you back in her space. I know you hurt her with words, which can only happen when you actually care about what that person thinks. I heard her talking in her sleep, and your name came up more than anyone else's. If she doesn't love you, she is a hell of a good actress, and I think we both know she doesn't have a career in that field." She opened the door and left me with my thoughts.

I sat in silence for a while, letting her words wash over me over and over again. I started separating my memories, searching for the shiny and ones that weren't shiny. The moments, the ones that the Capitol couldn't have touched was where I found my answer. The bread, thrown to a girl, knowing what would happen to me and not caring. The paintings, all the paintings, and how I had made her come alive the way I saw her. I promised her I wouldn't let the Capitol take me and make me into something that I wasn't, but isn't that what happened? I couldn't let them win. I felt part of it coming back, in the dark recesses of myself. It started so small, so very tiny, a soft light. I felt it grow, comforting me. Soon, some of the shiny memories, small ones, became lost. The cave, the way she felt lying next to me, her smell of earth, playing with her hair while I was feverish and dying. I needed to see her, it became an overwhelming need.

I left my room and started to where I knew she was. There was no way I was going to let Haymitch or anyone drag me away. I could help her. I would do whatever it took to get her out of there and safe, with me.

As I walked by the station in front of the seclusion area, a woman asked me where I was going and if she could help me.

"I am here to see Haymitch Abernathy and Katniss Everdeen." I responded, full of determination.

She looked at me quizzically and picked up the phone. I started to feel the panic, the thought that people were going to come drag me away again. Instead I saw Johanna and Doctor Aurelius come around.

"I told you I wasn't going to miss this one." She said while giving me a smile. I couldn't tell if it was pleasure or sadness, but I knew it was going to be bad news. Did something happen to Katniss? I started to lose sight as rage feelings came over me.

"Peeta," I heard Doctor Aurelius saying as he made some hand motions to a Nurse who appeared. "Peeta, Katniss is okay, but she isn't here."

"What? What do you mean she isn't here?" I asked, each word coming out slowly and precariously. Johanna pulled up a chair and sat down, kicking her feet on the desk.

"Well, she had her trial, and was found not guilty by reason of insanity. We felt the best course of action was to get her out of here to heal, so I have sent her back to 12 with Haymitch." I could hear others coming from behind, but I didn't care. I was too focused on what the Doctor was saying to care.

"She left? Without seeing me?" Shiny images were taking over my mind, fast and furious. Words, flashing before me.

"She didn't have a choice, Peeta. She wasn't allowed to see anyone. We put her on a hovercraft and just moved her back home."

The dark feelings came now and there was no stopping them. Instead of them being focused on Katniss, it was in defense of her. "Let me understand. In order to aid in her healing, you sent her back to her hometown, filled with memories of people who are no longer here; to a town that was completely bombed and destroyed. Are you kidding me?" My voice started to get louder, unstable. "Put me on a hovercraft right now!" I started to yell. Suddenly, I wasn't even sure of what I was yelling. I felt the arms grab me, the prick, and the darkness take me over as I just kept saying the same thing over and over. 12. 12. 12.

_I hope you all enjoyed this! Peeta's point of view was a little bit longer, but I think at this point he had a little more to work through. Thank you to all my readers, and please review and let me know your thoughts! Love you all!_


	5. Haymitch Abernathy

_I am really hoping the Gods of Time are in my favor this morning. I really wanted to write this out yesterday, but time got the better of me, so here I am, really early, trying to get this written before work. I am changing things up a bit, as this chapter is going to be a Haymitch perspective. Of course, the main focus will be Katniss and Peeta, but in my mind, there are others who will play into this story. I have always said a story for the most part writes itself. I am just a tool for the words to come out. Next chapter will go back to Katniss and Peeta, and hopefully the words will allow for me to have them together in the same time space. Reviews are most welcome! Don't be shy, and hit that review button! I own nothing Hunger Games world bases, Suzanne Collins does, but I wish I thought of it first!_

I left her house and sauntered back to my own, head down. It wasn't a far walk, but it seemed I couldn't get there fast enough. My clear liquid sanctuary called to me, and I didn't want to be without it for much longer.

It's hard to not be jaded. When you are packed in an arena, with 47 other people, knowing that the end result is going to be 47 other people dead, it's hard to imagine you will be the one standing. I wanted to be the one standing; I fought to be the one standing, but that doesn't mean it doesn't change you. Maysilee, oh Maysilee, my ally in those games. She was pretty, yes, but a boy like me knew not to get attached. When we found each other there, there were no differences between us like back home. When she walked away, I understood. We were coming to the end, we couldn't both be standing, and we didn't want to have to turn on each other. How I ran when I heard her screams.

I remember coming home, dazed, in shock. It was all so much to take in. The last victor had already passed away, so I had the choice of houses. I took one that was a little off to the side, but not so far off that I couldn't see the town. My mother was with me, but in the end, she couldn't handle it either. The clear liquid became my release, my elixir.

Year after year I went back. Kids were chosen and kids died. I cared at first; I wanted to help them win. There could never be enough preparation though, not enough time to really give these kids a fighting chance. I even tried once to get the Seam kids, the ones who I knew had their names in the bowls multiple times and teach them before the games. I was found out quickly, and that was just put to rest. After my mother's incident, I had blamed me, but in reality, I know it was the Capitol's way of punishing me.

So year after year, I went to the games, offered the same advice to stay alive, and focused on myself. The liquor in the Capitol was much better than what I had back home, so I began to just focus on that. It wasn't long usually until both my tributes were out of the games, and the familiar guilt would last about as long as it would take to get the glass to my mouth, over and over again.

Then they came. It was her that sparked my interest first; she had a fire in her eyes that I recognized immediately. She wasn't the most pleasant of people, but she wanted to live. His was more like a slow burn. It started small, just asking questions, but mostly survival questions. I had him figured out once he started, and that's when I saw the real fire, which may have been slightly brighter. He was asking questions to benefit her. They both had the same goal; keep her alive; though she didn't know they were on the same team.

When he came to me, the night before the last day of training for the first games, I could tell his heart was heavy. He wanted to talk to me alone, before the interview. I could tell he had something up his sleeve, and when we got down to it, he told me what I already knew. He was in love with the girl. He needed to know how to make it work for him, but mostly for her. He wanted her to live, and he wanted to protect her.

Together, we all managed in our own ways to do the unthinkable. We got the both of them out alive. I knew there would be a cost to it, but I never imagined the cost would end up being the revolution. The prices we pay for the things that we want will always be high.

I got to my house and took out the bottle. It really tasted like shit compared to what I had become used to in other parts of Panem, but really, it was better than nothing. I undid the cap and started my long, slow, drink, letting the burn wash over me. It's almost funny how everything can relate back to fire.

I recall when Aurelius approached me about taking her back to 12. "I don't think it's a good idea." I told him bluntly. "She has too many memories with that place, and not a lot of them are pleasant. It's not all sunshine and rainbows."

Aurelius just looked at me. "I know, Haymitch, but it really may be our only option to keep her alive. The new government still think she's a threat, and it took a lot of talking about how bad it would look if we killed her, especially in her current pitiful state. She is, essentially, a mental Avox and I don't think she is going to snap out of it any time soon. She needs to get out of here, and quickly. I offered to send her back home under certain conditions."

"And those would be?" I asked slowly. I still didn't think it was a good idea, but I did trust Aurelius to keep her alive. He wouldn't have gone through the trial, lie as he did, just to kill her now.

"Well, she would have to have weekly phone calls with me. This way I can monitor the progress." He stated.

"So you just told me that the girl can't talk, may not ever really get better, and you think that phone calls are going to happen?" I asked with a bit of a cut to my tone. This wasn't making sense to me just yet.

"Yes, they will. I just don't think I will be talking to her for a while. I will be talking to you."

That's it then. That's when I knew that my fate was determined and I was going to be sent back to 12 as a babysitter. I didn't take it too hard, since really, here in my house was where I felt most comfortable. Some came home too, maybe because they didn't feel that they belonged in the strange Capitol, or the sterile 13. I was glad to see her, because I knew she also came back for her. Ripper came back, and I like to think she came back for me, so I could be will stocked in my escape.

It wasn't long before the phone rang. I answered with a gruff hello, and went through the normal questions. Yes, she was still alive. No, there were no outbursts. There really wasn't much of anything. She wouldn't eat unless Sae was there watching her. She hadn't wandered out around the town. She just sort of took up space. He started talking and I started not listening. It was the same bullshit.

We were so alike, her and I. She just hadn't found her escape yet to make herself back into a functional person. I was barely functional, unless I had to be. As much as I swore I would never love anyone, care about anyone, ever have a family, I realized she was it. I loved her as a protector would his charge and in that moment I realized I didn't want her to be me. I didn't want her to find her escape in something like I had. I really wanted her to be saved. Just because I saw so much of myself in her, well, that didn't mean I wanted her to be me.

"Listen, Doc," I started, "We need to do better. She isn't getting better being here, and I know part of the new people in charge may feel better about that, but I don't. How is the boy?"

"Peeta? Well, he was not too pleased to find out that you both had gone back to 12. He seems to be making it his purpose to get back there, but we aren't ready to send him back." He answered.

"Why? Do you think he's still programmed to kill her?" At one point in time, I could have never imagined him hurting a single hair on her head, but I saw what was done to him, and how unpredictable he had become.

"No. I don't think he would. He seems to be doing a lot better concerning the hijacking now. I just don't think there are people that want to see them reunited." He said softly.

My knuckles turned white as I clutched the phone. "Listen, Doc. I want him back here and soon. That girl in that house has maybe months to live if we don't do something. She needs to be healed; she needs to get out of that goddamn chair, and she needs to clean herself. She lost everything, and she did it for all of us. We owe her everything we have. That boy gave up his entire mind, and fought to get it back, again for all of us. No one left knows them better than I do, and what they both need is each other. You are a damn miracle worker, so make it happen, or you will see me and Sweetheart back in the Capitol really soon." Before he was able to respond, I slammed the phone down.

I knew that would be the answer. I had seen it so many times with them since I have gotten to know them. They heal each other, make themselves whole, just by being together. I looked at my bottle, held it in my hands. She wouldn't be me. I wouldn't allow her to be me. I toasted the air, lifting the bottle high.

"Stay alive, Sweetheart." I said to no one and took a long, slow, sip.

_I hope you liked this installment, even if it deviated from Katniss and Peeta. I couldn't help but think that since Katniss wasn't taking his calls, someone had to be. It also made sense to me that they would have sent Haymitch to sort of babysit her, and he may have had something to do with Peeta's return. One more time, please hit the review button for me and tell me what you think! I would love to know, and I appreciate any feedback!_


	6. Chapter 3 - Peeta's POV

_Update time again! It's been many updates over the last couple of days, and first I want to thank those who took the time to review/follow/favorite my story. It means the world to me, really, to see the notifications. It does inspire those who write to keep going, to search and find the words of these wonderful characters (that I do not own, Suzanne Collins does) and to share them with you. Which brings me to…_

_I am switching this up again. As I said in the last update, I wasn't expecting Haymitch to knock, but he did, and I had to answer. My original plan was to have it be Katniss speaking, then Peeta, so on and so forth. But here we are at Chapter 3 (I am counting Haymitch as 2.5) and we are going to start with Peeta. Kat (can I call her that?) is just kinda catatonic at her house, and I need to get these two together! So, I am going to start with Peeta, because right now he is at my bedside begging me to let him talk._

_As always, if you like it, tell me! If you hate it, tell me that too! I don't mind, and I just like to hear how you feel about this. I am done with my rambling, and I promise, I won't knock Peeta out with any drugs this time around._

Peeta:

My mind had only two thoughts. 12. Katniss. 12. Katniss. It was non-stop. When I awoke, back in my room after my episode, my mind was slightly clearer. If I wanted to get to 12, I had to play by their rules. Haven't I been through this before? I know how this works, and even if the people in charge had changed, some rules don't. I started to wonder how I could make this happen; how I could get myself to a hovercraft, to 12, to Katniss.

I knew I couldn't talk to Johanna. She was too rebellious, and not even torture changed that. She may not go near water, but she still wasn't going to play by anyone's rules but her own. Not for the first time I wished I could talk to Finnick. He would know exactly the way to play the system to get them to give you what you wanted. I couldn't talk to Annie; she was mourning and with good reason. There really wasn't anyone else I trusted enough, so I knew I had to do it alone.

I got out of bed and stretched my legs. I pressed the intercom button to have some food brought in. I knew my eating would be a sign of normalcy, and that was what I had to put forward. I was surprised to see my tray brought in by Doctor Aurelius.

"Peeta, I am glad to see you awake." He stated as he set the tray down. "Do you mind if I join you for lunch?"

"No, not at all." I answered. In all honesty, he was probably the best chance I had to getting myself out of here, so this was a welcome surprise. He lifted the lid to lunch, which was the lamb stew with the plums. Katniss. This was a test.

"Excellent, well then, let's eat before this gets cold. I hear it isn't as good cold." He smiled at me and pulled out a chair. I still wasn't sure what side of the fence he was on, not that there really were any fences anymore, but I think a part of me would always feel that way.

"Oh, I don't know. I think Katniss would eat it in any state." I say nonchalantly. I knew my casualness would be noted. I knew that mentioning her name and not going on about wanting to kill her would be noted. Truth was, harming her was the farthest thing I wanted to do. My talk with Johanna cemented it for me. Some things may change, but love, real love, will always be there in our souls. When you are willing to give your life for someone, simply because you cannot live in a world without them, it doesn't just go away. It hid; a tiny piece hid in a dark place in me that my tortures could not touch, and her words helped bring it back. I knew I needed to be with her.

"So, let's talk about Katniss. You both went through a lot together. The Games, the tour, 13, the final push. You went through a bit more though, didn't you? You were here longer than any of us. How are you feeling about that?" He put his fork down and studied me, waiting for my answer.

"If you are asking me if I enjoy being here, the answer is no. I don't think you would get a yes from Johanna or Annie either. This time around though, at least I am getting better food and people to surround myself with." I answered honestly.

"Do you want to talk about what happened? What they did?" He was still searching my face, trying to find a trigger.

"I think we have gone over that enough, don't you? We know what they did. They hijacked my mind, took my memories, and made them what they wanted them to be. They designed me to be the perfect weapon against their biggest enemy."

"And did it work, Peeta?" It was my turn to search his face. I didn't find anything unkind. I didn't see the eyes of someone who wanted to hurt me. I had to trust someone to get me out of here, and I knew this was my opportunity.

"Yes and no. In the beginning, yes. It was so confusing, the memories, and the thoughts. They turned so many things in my mind. It wasn't just them you know. It was Coin as well. She may not have been here, but she did her own damage in 13 when no one was around." I answered honestly.

This seemed to surprise him. He pushed his chair closer to me, his full attention on my features, trying to determine if he was lying. "Please explain."

"Well, it wasn't exactly a secret that I was in love with Katniss at one point. It wasn't a secret that I was willing to die if it meant saving her. I started to get better, little by little. I watched more videos, this time without venom. I talked to people; people who knew me when I was me. Finnick and I talked a bit, and he told me what he saw through his eyes. It started simply with Coin. She would check in on me, talk to me for a bit. I started to warm up to her, and when we would talk, she would start telling me about all the time Katniss spent with Gale. How she demanded Gale do everything with her. She never said anything outright, but she insinuated enough to put the doubt in. When she sent me to join them, she told me she wanted me to see how close they were, and while Katniss may not be a mutt, she still was always a liar. She was never going to feel anything for me but contempt because our show was a Capitol show."

"And you believe that?" He asked, looking puzzled. I don't think anyone really knew Alma Coin.

"I did, at first. Then things changed. I could tell by the way she watched me, how she worried for me. I could see it on her face. I could see when I was in pain, she also looked to be in pain. I felt it when she kissed me and asked me not to let them take me away from her."

He continued on with his questioning. "So, you know Katniss loves you?"

"I know Katniss cares about me. I know I love her. I know I want to be with her, even if it is just next door in a house, and we are never more than friends. If that is all she can offer me, I would be happy with that. I need her, Doctor, and I need you to help me get to 12. I won't hurt her. I can give you my word. You have talked to her, right? Is she okay?"

I saw something flash over his face; it was brief, but it was there. "No, I haven't talked to her. I have talked to Haymitch, and he says she is fine." I saw his right eye twitch and I knew he was lying. I don't know how I knew, but I knew it to be true with every part of me.

"I would like to talk to Haymitch, if that is okay." I wanted just 5 minutes to talk to him, to see if what I thought was real. Katniss wasn't fine.

"I'm afraid I already had my conversation with him this week, but I can see what I can do for next week. I think I may be able to do even one better, Peeta. I think you can have a face to face conversation with him." He told me while smiling.

I didn't think any words could have shocked me more. Face to face. Could this mean I was going to…

"12."

"Yes, Peeta, 12. I think you can go home, if you think you could go home. You need to understand that what you may remember last isn't what it is now. I would like you to talk to someone before I give the final okay. There are two people, actually, that I want you to talk to before I allow you to go. I will ask you again after talking to them if it is still something you want to do. I just need you to promise me that you will be honest with me, but more importantly yourself, if you are really ready to leave."

My heart raced and those two words just kept going through my head. 12. Katniss. 12. Katniss. I had to use all my mental strength to focus. I couldn't imagine who he would have me talk to, but I was ready.

"I'll do it right now. I will talk to whoever you want, and you have my promise that I will be honest on whether I think I am ready."

"Why don't we finish our lunch first? I am afraid it has already gone beyond warm." He was still smiling and we finished our lunch. A nurse came in to take the trays, and I saw the Doctor talking to her. "I believe our first guest will be here shortly."

We made small talk and then I heard a knock on the door. Katniss's mother walked in, nodding to the Doctor, and taking me in her arms for a warm hug. It had been so long since someone had hugged me, really hugged me and I was almost taken aback.

"Peeta. You are looking so well, and I hear you may be heading back to 12." She said softly. This is a woman who just lost one daughter, and effectively lost her other. I understood what it was like to have no one.

"I hope to, Mrs. Everdeen." I realized that I never spent much time talking to her mother. I didn't know much about her other than she was a healer, and my father loved her. My heart hurt for a moment when I thought of my father.

"Peeta, I haven't been back, and I can't go back. 12 has too many memories, too many bad ones. I can't imagine Katniss being anywhere else though. If you were to be there with her, my heart could be eased. I know you would take care of each other." I saw the tears well up in her eyes. She wiped one away with the back of her hand, graceful and swift. Katniss does have some of her mother in her, even if she thinks that she takes more after her father. "Take care of my daughter, Peeta."

"Always." I simply replied. There really wasn't more to say, so she smiled at the Doctor and left.

"I don't know why you would think talking to Katniss's mom would change my mind." I said. There was nothing there but hope when I talked to her.

"I'm not trying to change your mind, Peeta. I'm just making sure you are prepared." Another knock and then I knew what he meant.

Gale slowly walked in, looking around the room. He looked like he didn't know what he really was doing here, and really neither did I.

"Hello, Gale. I am sure you are wondering why I called you here. Peeta is thinking about going back to 12, and I need you to tell him what you know. I need you to tell him what he will find there."

I heard Gale sigh. Sadness crossed his face, and I could tell that he was being brought to a place he didn't want to go.

"This really hasn't been my month." He started. "You want to know about 12? Fine. It should be easy to tell you because it doesn't exist. Are we done?" he look towards Aurelius. I could see the flames rising, I could feel the heat. Gale is fire, just as Katniss is, except his isn't extinguished and I don't know if it ever will be.

"No," Aurelius started, "Peeta is thinking of going back and I need him to know what he will see."

"You are going to see rubble. Everything you think that you would remember is gone. The Victor's Village still stands, but that's about it. I heard some went back, and they were cleaning it up, but I can't imagine it would look like anything you would remember. You old home? Gone. Bakery? Gone. School? Gone."

"I get it. I don't think we need the whole list of buildings that used to exist." I said softly. I can't pretend his words don't hurt me, because they do. "Gale, why aren't you back there?" I asked him. I was honestly confused as to why he would still be here, with Katniss there. I knew he loved her, maybe as much as I did.

"It's changed, Peeta, and not just 12. She thinks I killed her sister. I didn't kill Prim. Hell, I had no idea Prim would even be in the Capitol, but it doesn't matter. She told me as much the last time we talked. I would have never hurt her, but in the end, in her eyes, I did. I can't go back. There is nothing for me to go back for. I lived my entire life dreaming of getting out. I never imagined getting out without her, but I can't go back."

"I'm sorry, Gale." I surprised myself by meaning it. I was sorry for what he went through. I remember that feeling of losing her to him after he was whipped. I had thought I had lost her forever, and he now feels that way. "I am sorry."

He gave me a small smirk. "Honestly, when I think about it, I lost as soon as she volunteered and you were standing next to her. I'm not angry at you, or her, but it is the truth. She needs you more than me. I was always the best friend who had the bad luck to fall in love with the girl who would never see me as anything else."

"Oh, I don't know. I can tell you that there were many times that I thought she was going to run off with you and just leave us all behind." I told him honestly.

"We talked about running away. A couple of times actually. Once before that reaping you were called. I mentioned it to her, told her we could run. We didn't. The second time was after you both came back, before I was whipped. I told her I would go until she mentioned bringing you. Well, there was the talk of other uprising as well, but really, I wasn't willing to make it a threesome."

"I remember her asking me to go. That was right before you got whipped. I knew she would never leave after that. She would never leave you." I told him, trying to make him feel better.

"She asked you after me. She was still willing to run, Peeta. She knew I wasn't going to go, but she was still willing to go with you. If I hadn't been hurt, she may have grabbed you and ran. You became the one she would never leave behind." He sadly looked at me, and I could see the hurt. "Just don't expect going home is going to be a great thing, because it isn't. It was never pretty, but now, it is just hideous."

"Gale, you probably know her better than anyone. How do I help her?" I asked him honestly. I didn't think of the Doctor in the room, monitoring everything. I didn't care. I just wanted him to give me his insight on the girl I loved so much; the girl we both loved so much.

"That is something I can't tell you, Peeta. I think if you think about it, you will find out you know the answer to that better than I do." Gale stood up then and pushed the chair back to the table. He looked at me and nodded before he walked out.

Aurelius came over to the table, but didn't sit down. He looked at me and asked me just one question.

"How do you feel now?"

I looked at him right back, resolve in my face. "I feel like I need to get on a hovercraft."

_Holy words! This one was really long! I hope you all enjoyed it and we are getting so close to the reunion. I hope you all liked this installment I probably could have written more, but I figured that I would stop here for now. Thank you all for reading!_


	7. Chapter 3 - Katniss

_Hello, lovelies! Thank you for making it this far and I hope you are enjoying the ride with me. Last chapter was really long; I didn't want to break it up into two chapters. This chapter may go a little darker, since I need to go back to Katniss and at least tell a little about where she has been. I know I plan on ending Chapter 3 with a Haymitch/Peeta pairing, which I may or may not get to later today. As always, I own nothing about The Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does. If you would kindly take the time to review, I would deeply appreciate it!_

Katniss:

I sit in the chair staring at walls. Day in and out, this is where I am. I hear the phone ringing, and I know sometimes it is the Doctor who let me go, but I don't care enough to answer the phone. I am sure some of the others are not him, but I am not sure who it could be. I know I don't care about that either, because I know who it isn't. It isn't Prim. It isn't Finnick. It isn't anyone who has died since I came into the national spotlight.

I feel myself sliding deeper into myself. Logically, I know I shouldn't be doing this to myself, this substitution for death. I have always been a survivor. Haymitch comes in, makes sure I am alive, and tries to tell me to clean up, but I don't really hear him.

Sae, dear Sae, comes over with her granddaughter to do some cooking and cleaning. I like watching her granddaughter, who really lives in her own world. I can relate to that, and she doesn't try to talk to me, which is also most welcome. I try to eat for Sae, but really, it is difficult. I know there isn't much to clean because I mostly stay in this same place. You can't really make a mess too much when you aren't touching anything.

They leave soon after and I am left with myself again. In the end, wasn't this my wish? I was never going to get married, never going to have children. Somehow this feels worse than I could ever imagine. Everything and everyone that I have lost flashes through my mind. Before I know what I am doing I am standing up. I walk towards the kitchen, reaching for the plates. I picked one up in my hands and ran my fingers over it. They are my mother's plates, waiting here for a woman who wasn't going to return. I threw it to the ground and startled myself with the sound. It felt refreshing almost, to throw the plate the symbolized my mother into the ground and watch it smash into a thousand pieces. I grabbed another and another and threw them, watching them get destroyed. I found the bowl my mother used, filled with snow coat, after Gale was whipped. I threw this one against the wall.

Everything became black for me, sounds of things smashing, glass shattering. I hear this unfamiliar noise, almost animal like, and don't know where it is coming from. When my door opens and Haymitch runs in, I realize that it was coming from me the whole time.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" he asks me in a worried voice. He finds me slumped on the floor, glass surrounding me, cuts covering me. "Sweetheart, not this." He kicks some of the glass out of the way, sweeps it away from me. He sits down on the floor next to me, takes my head into his chest. It's then I realize that I have been sobbing.

"They're gone," I stutter out. "Prim, Finnick, Gale, my mother, Peeta, they all left me."

"Sweetheart, some of them couldn't help it, but I don't think they did it to spite you. Some of them need time, just like you do. Gale, your mother, Peeta, they never left you. I don't see you running to pick up your damn phone, and I hear it ringing enough." Haymitch took a bottle out of his pocket and undid the cap. He took a long, slow, drink; I reached for the bottle after he was done.

"No. I can't let you did this." He told me. "You can't start down this path. It doesn't end well."

I took the bottle from him anyways and took a smaller sip. "Haymitch, I've been down this path for some time. I don't even know why I am alive anymore. I don't even know if I want to be." I took another sip.

Sae walked in, alone, bandages in hand. Haymitch must have sent for her before he barged in. "Oh, darling, let me get you cleaned up, and stop drinking that poison." She threw Haymitch a dirty look. I took another sip before I gave it back. She took me by the arm and brought me upstairs for the first washing that I remembering having in a long time. I lost all modesty after all my episodes with the Prep team, so I let her peel my clothes off me, clean my cuts and wash everywhere. When she was done, she dressed me in something soft, and placed me in my bed. She gave me a small sip of something, sweet. Sleep syrup. "Just so you can sleep, dear."

My panic started to rise. I didn't want to sleep, that is when the nightmares came. Mostly it was Prim and Peeta, both of them telling me they never wanted to see me again. That I caused nothing but death. I wanted to thrash around, but the syrup caught hold, and I was reminded of the time I had used it on Peeta. My eyes slid closed, and the darkness overtook me once again.

Sae watched her close her eyes, saw the pain, and hoped she would have one night of sleep. She walked down to the kitchen where Haymitch was, cleaning up the mess the girl had made.

"Haymitch Abernathy, I didn't even think you knew how to hold a broom!" she exclaimed at him.

"Yeah, I think I have forgotten how to use one, but I figured it out again. I think I have most of it." He said and gave a quick glance around to make sure there were no sharp pieces.

"What are we going to do with her?" Sae asked sadly. She looked defeated, like she already knew this wasn't going to end well. "And what were you doing giving her that poison?" she asked accusingly.

"Listen, she took it, and yes, I could have taken it back. Looking around though, I figured if she would rather take a few sips rather than swim around in some broken glass, it was a good alternative." He shot back. "Just so you know, the boy is coming back tomorrow. I think we should intercept him before he gets here. I don't think he really has been told of the situation." 

"The boy?" she asked quizzically, "Gale is coming back?"

"No, not that boy. Peeta. He is coming back for good and should be here tomorrow for 9 AM. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to head home to get some sleep. 9 AM is a lot earlier then I am used to rising." He took out the broken shards in a bag with him.

Sae sat in Katniss's chair. Her grandbaby was all set at home, and someone was there with her. She couldn't leave this girl alone tonight. She had done that some nights, but she wasn't sure Katniss even knew. She would get her to bed, and stay in the chair, keeping vigil. Peeta coming home could be good for her. She always thought Katniss would end up with Gale, them both being Seam kids and depending so much on each other. Things change though, and she knew that what this girl needed wasn't the Seam boy who would push all the buttons. She needed someone who would take care of her, gently. She had seen enough of Peeta to know when the Capitol hasn't corrupted his brain he would do just that. She would just watch him for a while to make sure his motives were pure. She wasn't going to let anything happen to the Girl who was on Fire, but now just had burning embers left.

_Woo! This chapter is done, and I can happily say the next one will be a Peeta one again to close it out. I hope you all have liked it, and remember, hit a button! Throw me a review, a follow, or a favorite, or all three! I love you all and appreciate it so much!_


	8. Chapter 3 - Peeta's Homecoming - Peeta

_Yes, it's me. Again. Let me start by saying I own none of the fine and world setting of the Hunger Games trilogy. They belong to Suzanne Collins. That out of the way, let's talk story! I know it has been a lot of updates in the last few days. Normally, as soon as I write something, I post it, but I can hold onto them and do a posting schedule as many do. If you would be so kind to let me know what you think and how you, the reader, feel about the updates, it would be very nice. I don't want to drown you in updates if you would rather have it be once every few days. In any case, thank you for reading, and let us get Peeta to 12. _

Peeta, Part 2

As soon as Aurelius cleared my departure, I packed my few items. There was only one person to say goodbye to, and I gently knocked on her door.

"What?" I heard her call out and I entered her room. Johanna sat with her back to the wall, throwing a ball against the wall and catching it each time. "Oh, hey. Glad to see you are looking normal again."

"Yeah, thanks, Johanna. Listen, I wanted to let you know I am leaving this afternoon. I'm going back to 12."

She caught the ball and faced me. A cross between worry and maybe even happiness came over her face. "I don't normally care about these sorts of things, Peg-Leg, but are you sure? You can handle this?"

"Honestly," I looked at her before I gave her the response, "Yes."

"Good. That is what I wanted to hear. Don't let them get you, Peeta. Don't let them kill who you are, or what you have. I don't say this too often, because hell, I don't feel it this often, but I am happy for you. I am even happy for her. I'll give you some time before I come down for a visit and stir shit up." With that she went back to throwing her ball; her conversation clearly over.

I went over to her and gave her a hug. She stiffened at the touch, but I didn't care. "Thank you, Jo. Let me know before you come make some trouble so I can have a bed waiting for you." I walked out before she could say anything or hit me.

I grabbed my bag and headed towards the hovercraft port. Doctor Aurelius was there to see me off. I handed him a note and asked him to give it to Katniss's mom. I had written it before I left, promising her I would write and send her updates so she would know how Katniss was. He shook my hand before I got on.

"Listen, Peeta, you have my number. If things get hard, please call me. If you need to come back, it isn't a failure. I will expect to hear from you at least once a week as well for progress reports about you. Also, do not go directly to Katniss. Haymitch will be meeting you."

The thought of not seeing Katniss first really stung, but I knew I had to follow orders. I wouldn't be on this hovercraft if it were not for this man. "Thank you, Doctor. Thank you for everything." I climbed in and off we were. We were going home. I was going to Katniss.

I really didn't pay much attention on the ride; my mind was so focused on what I was going to see when I got home. I knew Gale was being honest when he told me that everything had changed. There was no way I would be able to know what I was going to be flying into to. I knew whatever it was, I would get through it. I had been through worse. I decided to try and rest before we got there. I was sure that it was going to be a very trying afternoon.

The hovercraft touched down and I took a deep breath before grabbing my bag. I had no idea what I was going to find, or how I would feel really. Doubt started to enter my brain; did I make the right choice? Was this too soon for any of us? I thought back to Johanna and knew I had to do this. No matter what, this is where I belonged and no additional time was going to make this any easier. I stepped out and the first person I saw was Haymitch. He gave me one of his smiles, the one that promised that nothing was going to be easy, but we would get through it. Standing next to him was Sae. I didn't know her as well, but I knew she had a friendly relationship with Katniss.

Haymitch and I met each other halfway across the distance. We both weren't sure what to do, but then Haymitch gave me a quick hug and held me out to look at me.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He commented. "I am real glad to see you. We have a bit to catch up on. First, let's take a walk around." I grabbed my bag and started after him.

I immediately saw what Gale meant. The 12 I knew was gone, replaced by something that was almost unfamiliar. It still smelled the same; like coal and dirt. There were some other things I couple things I couldn't quite place. It was grey, greyer than I remembered, and there were pieces of debris everywhere.

"My place is just over here, Peeta. You can put your bag here for a bit if you would like." Sae kindly suggested. We walked over to a recently built home. You could tell it was new, and not grand, but still nicer than what was here before. She opened the door and took my bag from me.

"Now, Peeta, this place isn't what it used to be," Haymitch began, "but progress has been made. A lot of progress in the short amount of time we have been here to make it livable again."

I could see it. It wasn't just ugly, 12 has always been ugly, but there was something else. Hope was present, and that wasn't something I was used to seeing here. People were walking around, moving larger pieces of debris. Rows of these houses were here, some looked occupied, and others seemed like they were waiting for their families to move in. I could see all the potential here, the chance to start over.

"You don't need to worry. Either of you. 12 is going to be just fine, and I am more than willing to get started as well. Haymitch, you know this question is coming. When can I see Katniss?" I really just wanted to find her. I was so close to her, being here, and I wanted nothing more than to see her and hold her for just a moment.

"Why don't I make us some tea, so we can all talk?" Sae asked while pushing us through the door. A feeling of dread came over me.

"Sae, you have any of the good stuff?" Haymitch asked, searching his pockets. "I must have left my flask at the house." Sae didn't answer, but opened a cabinet and handed him a glass and a bottle.

Watching the looks between them started to fill me with dread. "Is she hurt, Haymitch? Is she okay?"

"Just sit down, boy. We'll talk and come up with a game plan." Haymitch became a little gruffer and I could tell whatever we were going to talk about wasn't going to be easy. When has anything ever been easy?

"Sweetheart, well, she is a bit damaged, to say the least. I don't know what you were told, but I am going to tell you everything right now. The last thing we need is for you to go into some state of shock, or put her in some worse place." He took a slight pause to take a drink. "This whole thing took a lot out of her. I think losing her sister pushed her over the edge. She doesn't talk much, she doesn't leave her house, and she sure as hell doesn't clean herself. I don't know when the last time she brushed her hair."

Sae sat down, handing me my tea. "She is in a tough place, right now." She began. "She had a bit of an episode last night, throwing things and breaking them. She was a bit cut up, but nothing major. We took everything sharp or breakable out, but I don't think she would even have the energy to do anything today. I go over and make sure she eats something, and clean up a bit, but she really doesn't move too much."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" I asked softly. I felt the sadness wash over me. I felt so guilty that I wasn't here sooner, here to help her. I know how bad her nightmares could be, and that was just when she was sleeping. I know what it was like to always be in a nightmare, awake or sleeping.

"You needed to take care of yourself, first. I know you like to put her above you, but you weren't in the best place either. You are here now, and that's important. I don't think you should see her right away. I think after last night, it may not be the best thing. I would like her to know you are back soon, but maybe not just yet." Haymitch said. "I just don't want any major episodes from either of you."

"You can stay with me tonight, Peeta. I will take some time and go to your place, just to dust it off a bit. Why don't you get some rest, and we can see what the best plan of action would be tomorrow?" Sae was already putting my bag in one of her spare bedrooms.

I quickly agreed but my brain was going. I let everyone tell me what to do for so long, and I wasn't about to keep living my life the same way. I told them I just wanted to take a walk around the town, and promised I wouldn't go near the village. I said I needed some time to take it all in.

It was all different. Stores that I once walked past gone. Homes I knew people lived in were also gone. I stopped where the bakery once stood and so many memories, some good and some bad, flooded over me. I took a few moments to pay my respects to my family, none of which made it out. Tears started to flow, not for anything or anyone in particular, but for all the loss. There could be no more loss. I was where I belonged, here, where we could rebuild.

My brain started going through many things, memories, conversations. I remember once Katniss telling me about the origin of her name, how it was an edible plant. Her sister, also named after a plant, a flower. I knew then what I had to do. I asked a man who was working if I could use his tools for a moment, his wheel barrel and his spade. He allowed me, seemed almost star struck, and handed over his items.

"Thanks, I will be back with these soon." I promised.

I went out to the field and found what I was looking for. Spring had started and I was able to find some small primrose bushes. I dug them up carefully, so I wouldn't damage the roots. Once I had filled my basket, I went to where I needed to go from the moment I stepped off the hovercraft.

I didn't knock on her door, or really make any noise. I just started digging around her house, placing the bushes in the front. I couldn't bring her sister back, but I could give her this. I was about to the third one when I heard the door open. I looked up and my breath stopped. She was there, staring at me in disbelief. "What, how? Why are you digging up my front yard?" She came out, barefoot, her eyes never leaving me.

"I thought you might like these. If you don't, I can take them back. I just got in today; I wanted to come back home." I looked at her gently. I wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her hand, take her in my arms, but I couldn't. She had the eyes of a wild animal. She looked over to what I was actually planting and I saw the realization wash over her.

"Prim…"she said softly.

"Roses." I finished for her. "I'm so sorry, Katniss. She was wonderful and good. She was pure and a healer. I am sorry that you and the world lost her." I went back to work, digging holes and gently placing bushes in them before filling them back up again.

I heard her leave, opening and closing her door. When I was done, I dusted myself off and looked up. I could see her in the window, watching me. I watched her back for a bit, making sure she was really there and not something I was making up in my own mind. I smiled at her, gave her a small wave. I pointed to my house, so she would know I would be there and set off to return the borrowed items.

She wasn't well. I knew what the feeling of being lost was like. I also knew she didn't give up on me. She was there for me, helping me piece things back together, and I was going to help her. 12 before may have stood for hopelessness, but now it had a new meaning. It was hope.

_Finally! I have them in the same time space and now it can really begin. I can't believe it took me almost 20k words to do it, but hey, at least we are there. Please let me know again if you are ok with me just updating as I write, or if you prefer I write and then put it on a scheduled update. As always, please review and let me know what you think (I know I took some liberties with the first meeting, but I am okay with that. I also know Peeta's demons aren't gone yet, and he still has some healing of his own to do, but that is a different chapter.)_


	9. Chapter 4 - Katniss

_Good morning, everyone! Well, it is morning for me, but good whenever it is that you stumble across this. Thank you so much for the reviews/favorites/follows! We can finally start in 12, which is when I started thinking of this story is where I imagined it would be. I am just surprised at how long it took us to get there! Now, I wanted to explain how the chapters work a bit, since it is slightly odd. I want each chapter to represent a time period, so basically, multiple view points over the same period of time. For the most part, it would just be the one voice (except for the last Katniss part, since the ending had Sae and Haymitch – that chapter if I split it would have been too much). As always, I do not own The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins does. Now, to the story!_

Katniss:

I stared at Peeta, watching him carefully line the primrose bushes outside my door. Peeta! I couldn't move from my spot, watching him, because I was scared if I did, he would be gone and I would have thought I imagined the entire thing. Why had he returned? He finished, looked up at me, gave me a smile and a wave, pointed to his old house and was gone.

I almost wanted to run after him and call him back. I took a slow look at myself and realized it wouldn't be that good of an idea. My hair was in tangles, I was wearing a nightgown; if I wasn't so sure that he was just a hallucination, I wouldn't have run outside to begin with. I started to run the bath, filling it with hot water and climbed in.

I was surprised at how wonderful it felt, having the warm water cover me. I soaped myself up, over and over again, until I felt clean. I washed my hair; I couldn't remember the last time my hair had seen shampoo. I sat in there for a moment when it was done, feeling calmness come over me. Peeta was back. I wasn't sure what it meant, or why, but I couldn't say that I wasn't happy to see him.

I left the bath and went to my room. I found some of Cinna's old designs, which threatened to put me back in my bed. "No," I told myself, "Not today." I found some comfortable soft pants, a light white shirt, and started the long process of brushing out my hair.

I put it in a braid and went down to the kitchen. I wasn't quite ready to walk out yet, but I could at least start with small things. I noticed that the mess made last night was cleaned up and I felt a blush come to my cheeks. I wasn't even sure how much time had elapsed since my coming here. I looked in the cabinets and noticed anything glass had been removed. Anger started to come over me, but I knew they were only doing it for my safety.

There was one person I needed to talk to, before I could do anything else. I slowly walked to the phone and picked it up. I didn't expect an answer, but I was surprised by the third ring when I heard the familiar gruff voice.

"Yeah?" Haymitch answered.

"Hi. It's me. Would you mind coming over for a minute?" I asked him.

My question was met with a long pause. "Did you just use the telephone?" he answered.

"Obviously," I shot back, "Now will you or won't you come over?"

"Well, Sweetheart, I am not used to formal invitations made by you, but yes, I can be over." Without saying anything further, he hung up. Some things may never change and Haymitch I was pretty sure was one of them.

Soon after, I heard my door open. "Sweetheart? When did you get flowers in your yard?" he asked, his eyes displaying confusion and possibly fear, "And did you actually clean yourself and do your hair?"

"You know, I have found cleaning yourself isn't really that difficult. You should try it sometimes." I retorted.

"So, the flowers? You did that too?" Haymitch settled into a chair and took out his bottle. This time, I didn't try to sip from it myself.

"No, that was Peeta."

"Son of a …" he angrily replied.

"So, you knew? You knew he would be back, and you didn't tell me?" I couldn't understand why Haymitch wouldn't have told me something this big. Peeta come back was something I should have been told about.

"Yeah, but things happened pretty quickly. This wasn't all my doing, you know. That boy was determined to make it back here as soon as he found out that we had left." Haymitch took another drink before starting again. "So, I met him, showed him around a bit, asked him not to come see you yet, and he went on his way. I should have known he wouldn't have followed my instructions. You know, you both really are phenomenal at not following directions."

"Did you ever think that maybe you aren't that great at giving directions?" I smiled for the first time in a very long time. I had forgotten how much I liked sparring with Haymitch.

"Listen, it wasn't anything against you, or him. I figured you both needed some time to ease into it. He wasn't in a good place, you really weren't in a good place, and I didn't want this to go badly. I didn't want to see you get deeper into shit, and I didn't want the boy to regress. I should have known though that when it comes to you two, you both follow your own set of rules." Haymitch put the flask back in his pocket before he continued.

"Listen, I am not going to get too heavy on you. It isn't what I do. I just want you to know something. I know you saw my games. I know you know me now. This is the path I chose, because it was easier than anything else. I wanted to forget because it was easier than loving and losing. You don't have to worry about this now, but I saw you going down that same path of self-destruction. I know the games are over, but I still think of myself as your mentor. Here's my advice. Don't move too fast, but don't waste what is given to you." He looked at me as he said these words, truth shining in his eyes.

"I don't quite understand, Haymitch. I don't know what you think, but I can tell you that I don't see love in my future. The games are never over and we both know that. I still think about them, and about the revolution every night and day. I don't ever see myself getting married, having children. My family is dead, except for my mom, but she will never set foot here again." I placed my plastic cup down and stared at the floor. "I know Peeta came back, but he didn't come back for me. He probably came back because being in the Capitol was too hard after what he went through."

"You tell yourself what you need to, and I can't argue about what you think you know right now. Just remember, family isn't only who you are tied to by blood, or by a toasting. Family can be a lot more, and you may not think it, but you do have family here. Now that I can see you are cleaning yourself and capable of at least getting yourself a drink, I expect you to take over the phone calls from the Doctor. I also would like you to be gentle with Peeta. He risked a lot of his own mind to come back here, and again, think what you want, but it wasn't to see the debris." Haymitch stood up and started towards the door. "Call me if you want to go out." He said before leaving.

Left alone, I started to think about what he had said. Hadn't Sae always been here for me, even when I started selling at the Hob? She was my first customer, and her buying from me opened up doors for others. Haymitch, ever since the first Games, had never really left me alone, even if he was sometimes covered in his own vomit. It was starting to get dark, and I went to go place my glass in the sink. I could see out of the window a strange orange glow coming from one of the other houses. Peeta's house. He was home.

I wandered around my house, cleaning small things, placing them where they should go. Sae didn't know where things went, and I never offered directions. Peeta was home for one day, we barely had an interaction, and here I was cleaning things up. I wasn't going to think about what this meant. I just decided to focus on the fact that I finally felt a little safer than I had before. I was still scared to sleep, but knowing that he was next door made it less unbearable.

I wandered into my bedroom and found my father and mother's book they had started a long time ago. It was filled with pictures of plants with descriptions of how they were used. I wanted to continue filling this book, sharing my knowledge with what I had learned through the course of my 18 years. I didn't want to forget anymore. I turned to the primrose page, looking at the picture of the flower. Sorrow did wash over me, but this time I allowed it to come and go, and not let it destroy me. Prim wouldn't want me to just sit in a chair for the rest of my life.

I undressed and put on a nightgown. I lied on my side, watching out of my window. I fell asleep staring at the orange light from the house next door and hoped the nightmares would not come.

_Thank you all so much again for reading and please let me know what you think! Reviews are great and I like them very much! I hope to get to Peeta's chapter by the end of the day, so stay tuned!_


	10. Chapter 4 - Peeta

_Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or its characters. Suzanne Collins does. Now, that being said, back to updating! I've been lucky (and unlucky) in the past couple of days by being sick, so I have had unlimited computer time! Let's get to Peeta and how he is doing back in 12, shall we?_

The man thanked me profusely for bringing back his tools. It was a little over the top, to be honest, but I accepted the thanks and thanked him back for being so accommodating. I was still a little shaken up by seeing her, the look in her eye. I was so worried for her. How long had she been suffering here alone? I walked back to my house, slight anger rising at not being told. I knew Haymitch was right, that I had to get better myself, but I couldn't help but think that together we both would be able to get better.

I walked into the old familiar door and found Sae, washing off a counter. "Hello, Sae. Listen, you don't have to do this. It would be good for me to do it, really." I told her taking the sponge from her hands. "I plan on staying here tonight. I appreciate your kind offer, but I think it would be better to stay here. Better for me."

Sae just looked at me and smiled. She put a kettle on for some tea, and pulled out a chair. "I think it's time we got to know each other, Peeta. It seems that we have some common interests."

I sat in the chair that was offered. It was weird being offered a chair in my own home, but there were a lot of new things to be adjusted to. I listened to Sae as she told me about her life, growing up in the Seam, becoming the voice of the Hob. It really gave me some insight on Katniss, and how she grew up. I knew being the baker's son wasn't the easiest of lives, not like some imagined it to be, but it was not as harsh as what was being described.

"Now, I am not complaining, Peeta," she said as she placed the steaming cup down, "I rather liked my life, the people in it, and how we all worked together to get along. I knew it could have been better, but I was raised to think it could always have been worse."

"I think you were told true." I answered her honestly. "That is always what I think; that things could always be worse in the end, so we may as well take advantage of what we have now."

Sae looked at me thoughtfully. "I have said it before, and now I will tell you. I love that girl next door. I watched her grow up, watched her grow up too fast. I was the first one to start buying from her, because I knew others would follow my example, and after her father died, she needed us to live. I honestly thought she was going to be with Gale. I watched them grow together too. He was a tough one, and a looker, who always had a trail of girls following him. He never noticed, because he had his mind set on one. That changed when she volunteered, of course. I know some people had their doubts, but I could see it in your eyes, too. I saw what you did to protect her, over and over. Now, none of us here thought that there was a baby. We all knew her, and even the ones that knew you know that there was no way there was a secret ceremony. I don't know what happened after the takedown of the arena, or when we got to 13, what happened to you, or to her. When she came back to 13, she was not herself. Even with Gale, she was not herself. I saw her when she came back here after the trial, and she was most definitely not herself. Too much loss, I said. Too much to maybe ever heal. I thought Gale would return, but he didn't. I think he knew what I had figured out. There is only one person who would ever have a chance of making that girl whole and it wasn't him."

I lifted my cup to my lips. I wasn't sure what to say, but luckily I didn't have to think of something.

"She's hurt, it's true, but not physically. She is hurt in her mind and heart. I have lived too long, and have seen too many things to not be able to pick out the obvious. She may not recognize it now, or in a week, but she loves you, Peeta. Thank you for coming here, for her, and really for all of us who love her. Thank you for letting an old lady ramble. I did notice there are some clothes in your room, so I don't know if you need your bag tonight, but if not, I can run it over tomorrow." She placed her cup in the sink and rinsed it out.

Just as she was about to leave, Haymitch barged it. "Damn it, boy! Didn't I tell you to not see her today?" he started to yell.

"Yes, you did, and I didn't mean for her to see me. I just wanted to do something for her. Did she say something? Is she okay?" I stood up to go for the door.

"Sit down. She's fine. She took a bath or something and combed her hair." He answered, sitting down at the table.

Sae looked to Haymitch. "So, wait. She bathed herself, got dressed I am assuming, and brushed her hair and you are yelling at him? It seems to me that we should be thanking him. Let's go, Haymitch. Leave this boy be and let him get settled." She grabbed him by the arm and together they left me in silence.

It dawned on me that this was the first time in a long time that I was actually on my own. No doctors, or white rooms. No hovercrafts or babysitters. I started to walk around my home and came across my old painting room. I turned the light on and just sat in there, looking at all of the paintings I have done. So many tragedies, but ones with so much light. Katniss is so many poses, expressions, eyes on fire. It had been so long since I have painted, especially since I didn't know my own mind. I thought about what Sae said, her thanking me and thinking that my being here was going to help her. I knew it would help me as well. There really was nothing left for me anywhere else.

I found a clean canvas and my old paints. I wanted to try, even if it came out to nothing to paint something. I heard the rain start outside, and I tried to block out the world. I took off my shirt, as I always did when I painted, so I wouldn't get anything on it. It started off easy enough, picking colors. When I painted, I never really thought about what the end result could be, I always let my mind and hands do the work.

Dark colors started to come out, dark greys, greens, black. There was very little light as I started, a small one in the corner, bodies starting to take form. I was not sure how much time had passed, but I just kept painting. Finally it became clear to me what was taking place. We were in the sewers, back when I was so confused about what was real or not real. I could feel myself starting to shake, first in my legs, and then coming over to my chest and arms. No, I thought to myself, I can't do this now. I can't!

I stood up and started pacing, hands running through my hair. Real, real, real, I kept telling myself. This is real. I am home. I am going to be fine. This is real. I heard a noise, soft, coming from another direction but I couldn't focus.

The noise became louder, almost frantic, and I was able to determine what it was. Someone was knocking at my door. I really was not in the mood for Haymitch to give me another lecture, and he was probably drunk. I heard a thump and I started towards the door. I would just tell him to leave, that I wasn't in the right mind for this right now.

The rain was coming down heavier now; I could hear it slamming against the roof and windows. It was as I got closer that I heard a different noise. One that sounded like crying. I ran to the door and opened it. Katniss was slumped on my doorstep, huddled in a ball.

"Katniss!" I cried as I picked her up and turned her to face me. She was soaked, in a nightgown, hair stuck to her body. She looked lost and confused, and I couldn't tell if it was tears or rain on her face. "Katniss, what's wrong?"

"Peeta. You're here. It's real." She managed to get out. She slumped against me and I brought her in. When we got into the living room, she clung to me, sobbing. I ran my hands over her hair, trying to soothe her.

"Katniss, it's real. I'm here, and I am not leaving. Let me get you a towel and something to change into." I placed her down on a chair softly. "I'll be right back; give me a moment." I ran upstairs to my room, finding an old shirt and a pair of jogging pants that I was sure wouldn't fit her, but I didn't have anything really that would. When I went back downstairs, she was huddled in the chair and shivering.

"Katniss, here. The bathroom is upstairs if you want to change. Do you want me to call Sae?" She shok her head no and stood up, taking the clothes.

"Is it okay if I stay here for a bit?" She sounded almost like a kitten. I took her upstairs and sat outside the door while she changed. When she came out, she had the towel around her hair, clothes too big, but completely beautiful. She would always be beautiful to me.

"Of course you can stay. Did you want to talk?" I tried to stifle a yawn, but she caught it.

"Is it okay if we can just go to bed? I was sleeping, but I had a nightmare. I had a dream that you were here, but then you left. You left." She started to shake, and I took her in my arms.

"I'm not leaving, Katniss. I am here for always." I took her hand and we went into my bedroom. We slid under the covers, and I felt her head on my chest, her body against mine. I stroked her hair again, just talking about coming home, and how it felt so good to see her. Before I knew it, she was sleeping, gone back into her own world, safely held against me.

"For always." I whispered to her, kissing her on the top of the head.

_Thank you as always for reading, and remember, if you like it review! If you hate it review!_


	11. Chapter 5 - Katniss

_The fast and furious updating continues! I definitely don't think I can keep up the three/four updates a day, but while I can, and the urge is there, I want to get out as much as I can. Just for a bit of background on why I wanted to write this story, I remember finishing Mockingjay the first time (yes, I read it more than once – or twice) and while I was really happy with how it ended, I couldn't help but want some parts filled in. The growing together of both Peeta and Katniss, for the first time without cameras; I wanted to experience it. I don't own these characters, or the setting, Suzanne Collins does, but I wanted to maybe borrow them for a bit so I could imagine how it would go._

I awoke to sunshine streaming through a window and in a strange bed. I looked around the room, confused for a moment about where I was. I looked down at myself, in strange clothes that didn't fit me. As my mind started to awaken, the events of yesterday came rushing through my mind. Peeta was back. He planted flowers. I ran to him in the middle of the night. He held me and I went to sleep. I looked across the bed and there was no one there. Did I imagine Peeta coming back? Did I just let myself into his house?

I crept downstairs and heard some noises coming from the kitchen. I headed towards it and saw Peeta at the stove, cooking something.

"Hey you. How was the rest of your sleep?" he asked me, as if he had always been here and girls huddled at his door in the middle of the night was a normal occurrence.

"Fine. Listen, Peeta, I'm sorry about last night," I started to apologize.

"Stop," he interrupted. "You have nothing to be sorry for. My door is always open to you, no matter what time it is. Speaking of which…" he threw something in my general direction.

Reflexes made my arm move before my brain could even process what it was doing. I caught a metal object in my hand and turned around to look at it.

"It's a copy of my house key. In case I'm not home, or I don't answer right away. You can just let yourself in. Oh, and I didn't have any time to stock up my house, so I went to yours to grab things for breakfast. I hope you don't mind and I think we should probably do some shopping today." Peeta plated up some eggs and toast and placed them on the table.

I couldn't help but be a little confused. "Ummm, thanks. For letting me in and letting me stay. I'm fine with you grabbing stuff from my house, to be honest, I don't even know what is in there." I sat down at the chair he pulled out for me. I wondered how he could be so easy, how sure. It really as if he had been here forever, and not just got back to 12 yesterday.

Peeta was watching me, so I started to eat. "Katniss, I want us to be here for each other. I know everything must have been hard. I know what it's like to just sort of be lost. Neither of us have to be lost anymore, okay? If you want me to back off from you until you feel more comfortable, that's fine, but know that if you need me, I am always going to be here."

I looked at him, his eyes were so gentle and kind. I felt my heart beating, slightly faster than normal and a blush come to my cheeks. I was trying to remember something, something about the last time I saw him in the Capitol, but I just remember being knocked out and then shutting off. I needed to change the subject because I really wasn't sure how to respond. Verbalizing feelings have never really been my thing.

"So, how was everyone back in the Capitol?" I asked between mouthfuls.

"Well, I didn't really see that many people, to be honest. I was pretty much kept in my room. I did see Johanna often enough, usually when she wanted to steal my food. I also saw your mother before I left."

I put my fork down when he said this. My mother, who may have tried to call, but I wouldn't get up to answer the phone. Part of me was bitter that she wouldn't come see me, but the other part of me understood.

"I saw Gale as well." He looked at me when he said this, judging my expression. I could see it in his face that he was nervous about my reaction.

"How was Gale?" I ask, hoping that my tone doesn't reflect my emotions for the boy who had once been my best friend.

"He seemed okay. We really didn't talk for too long." He answered honestly.

"This is a little awkward. I mean, not that long ago, we were the engaged star-crossed lovers. Now we are sitting at your kitchen table trying to make small talk." I said to him.

"Yeah, it's like we were actually married." Peeta joked. A small smile crossed my lips. "Hey, Katniss, really this doesn't have to be awkward. We're free from the cameras and the lies we had to tell to try to keep each other alive. I told you before that I wanted us to get to know each other; really get to know each other. I would really like to be your friend."

I looked at him then, really looked at him and was taken in by his simple beauty. His blond hair, falling in soft curls over his forehead; his eyes – how had I never really noticed how his eyes seemed to hold an ocean in them? His lips, they looked so soft, and I could remember the taste of him, so sweet and pure. It took all my strength to not lean over the table and just kiss him then, so I settled on just reaching out and brushing a curl out of his face. I was going to tell him that I thought he should go shopping alone, that I wasn't sure where anything was; but the truth was I just didn't want to leave the Village, to see other people. Peeta being here changed everything; he made me feel safe, secure, and like I could go out into the world again. I saw his sharp intake of breath as my fingers touched his hair and face.

"Why don't you let me get home and change into something that fits me? I'll be right back and don't do the dishes. I can take care of that when we get back." I got up and placed my plate in the sink and headed towards the door.

"Ok, give me a few minutes to get ready and I will be waiting for you." He promised.

As I walked to my house, I felt nervous and excited. He was correct by saying there were no more cameras to follow us and we could really get to know each other. I was never very good at making friends, but Peeta somehow managed to get beyond that with me. I opened the door to my house and ran upstairs to change. I didn't want to make him wait too long, so I brushed my hair quickly before I threw it back into a braid. As I headed out I realized The Boy with the Bread has always been waiting for me, and it was time to finally make him stop waiting.

_That's it for now! Thank you as always for the lovely words/follows/favorites, and if you do get notifications, be sure to check that you have not missed any of the other chapters! Since there were three updates today, I want to make sure you catch the other ones as well. Please remember to review, and I appreciate your reading!_


	12. Chapter 5 - Peeta

_So, it almost hurt not doing three updates today, but back to work I had to go. As you know, I do not own The Hunger Games or any of its delightful characters. Thank you so much to all my reviewers/followers/favorites I have received. I appreciate all of you and the support you have shown for my story. Please, leave reviews still because, well, I like to hear what you think! Now, onto Peeta!_

I woke up, feeling a weight on my arm and looked over to my right. There she was, sleeping soundly, hair in her face, sunlight seeming to bounce off of her. She was my light, and I couldn't believe how the last nights events even transpired; from having an almost breakdown, to having her in my bed. I didn't want to say anything to scare her, or move too quickly, but it took everything in me to not touch her as I used to, kiss her when I wanted. I smiled as I thought to myself that for the first time, the cameras really could have worked to my benefit.

I managed to slip out of bed without her waking up. I went downstairs, throwing a shirt on as I descended, and started to check my cabinets. They were empty; I hadn't been home in months. I really wanted to make her something for when she woke up. I decided to run across to her house to see what supplies she had there, and I was able to come up with a few things that should be able to put together a nice breakfast. I hoped she wouldn't wake up before I got back. Her phone started to ring as I was leaving, and I debated answering it, but thought that wouldn't be good at this time.

I went back to my house, open the door slowly so that it wouldn't make too much noise. I didn't hear any noises coming from upstairs, so I assumed that she was still sleeping. I started to bake some muffins; I didn't have enough ingredients for the things I usually bake. I found it comforting, even if I hadn't done it in so long. It was familiar and reminded me of simpler times. I was almost done, lost in my own rhythm, when I heard her come down the stairs. She started to apologize, but I stopped her and handed her one of the extra house keys. My home would always be her home, and I would convince her no matter how long it took.

We ate, making small talk, small jokes here and there. She looked uncertain, certainly because this was all so new to her. She seemed to flinch when I mentioned going out, and I know that she hadn't really left her house. She surprised me when she agreed to go with me and headed over to get changed. When she came back, she was dressed, hair braided, and you wouldn't have known this was the same girl that no one had seen for months. She seemed not quite happy, but the wild look had slightly calmed down.

"So, do you know where everything is in town?" she asked me as we headed out.

"No, not really; I didn't really spend too much time exploring yesterday. I figured I would wait for you to show me around." I smiled at her and she gave me a small smile before turning her head, looking all around.

"Peeta, look at all of this destruction, look at all the ruins. I can't believe how bad it is." Her eyes, for one moment, seems to shine with unshed tears.

I took her hand and stopped her. "Katniss, look around you. Don't see it as destruction. Look instead at everyone coming together, working together. Look at how much work has been done and how much has been built. Most importantly, look at the hope in everyone's eyes. This is a chance to start over, to make 12 a new home."

She turned her head towards me and I saw her study my face. Her other hand, the one I wasn't holding, reached up and touched my face. She gently ran her fingers over my chin, my cheeks, my lips, stopping at my eyes. "How do you do it, Peeta? How do you always see the good when I always see the bad?"

"You see the goodness too. You saw it in Rue, you saw it in the people of the Hob, in Darius. I have seen you be kind when people wouldn't be. I have seen you stand up for people no matter what the cost. I think you can see the good here too, you just have to come out." I took her hand, the one on my face, and kissed her palm gently.

People stopped to look at us, some waved, some nodded, but all acknowledged us. A small girl ran up to Katniss and gave her flowers. "Thank you for everything. We're so happy you are both here!" I saw the blush in her cheeks; she had never been used to accepting praise.

We found the store eventually and gathered what we would need for the night and the next morning. I told her if she wanted, we could have dinner at her place. I wanted to be in her space, to make her home feel like a home and not a punishment.

"I don't know if any sharp objects are left at my house to cook." She told me simply. I saw her eyes downcast and I took her chin and had her face me.

"We can grab things from my house. It's not a problem." We stopped at Sae's to grab my bag. She was so excited to see Katniss out in town, and invited us in. We had a small cup of tea before leaving.

"Should we invite Haymitch?" I asked her as we headed back towards her house.

"Do we have to ask him?" she asked back in return. I saw her smile and knew she was joking, but it was exactly the answer I wanted. I wanted to be alone with her, and only her.

"No, no we don't. I think we will be just fine on our own." I answered her. We had reached our houses and we went into hers to put the bags in. We took stock of what she didn't have so I could be sure to grab it at my house. I made the list and went to go leave and get ready for dinner. As I headed to the door I heard her call my name.

I turned around and she was already there, giving me a hug. "Thank you for being here. With me." She whispered in my ear. Her warm breath sent shivers down my body and I held onto her a little bit tighter. I felt her kiss my cheek and then she walked back into her house, leaving me just staring at the door.

It was such a small thing; a whisper, kiss on the cheek, but I couldn't help but feel excited for tonight. There weren't too many moments in our time together that I knew she had done something on her own. Almost all of our interactions were scripted out by Snow, the cameras, the country. This felt more intimate. I started back to my house to get ready for dinner. I had bought enough ingredients to bake some bread, which I was really looking forward to doing.

When I walked in, it was almost as if I could still feel her in my house. Her smell still lingered and as I started my baking, I realized I could give her a bigger gift, something else that I could make for her. I knew I would need some time, and now may not be the right time to do it for it, but I filed it away in my head for the perfect moment.

With the bread baking, I started to get ready. First taking a bath, and then getting all of the things together that we would need from my house since her things were taken away. A tinge of sadness came over me as I realized the state she must have been in for all harmful objects to be taken away. I could definitely tell that she wasn't the same girl that she was before, but who was the same? After all we had been through, not just her and I, but all of us, how could we not have changed?

Finally, everything together and packaged up, I went out my door and towards her house. The thought occurred to me again that we had never really done anything so normal as to just have dinner together without the world watching. My hopes were high as I walked, thinking this is as close to normal as we could get. This was real.

_I really love writing Peeta, because I love fluff. Fluff warms my soul! I can't wait to get into the parts where they really start to come together, and learn about each other! I hope you liked it, and please let me know your thoughts!_


	13. Chapter 6 -Katniss

_Hello friends! Let's get all the stuff we have to get out of the way first – I don't own The Hunger Games. There, I said it. Ok, now, I wanted to talk a bit about how I see these characters. I struggle a bit with writing Katniss's viewpoint. Throughout the books, she isn't the most emotional of people, and can be a little cold (which I get and totally understand). I don't want to make her too OOC, but I don't have much to go with for this time period. I think for the first time, she would be able to process her emotions, and I imagine that would be a bit of a struggle. So, I will just do what I can while trying to stay true to how I think she would be. As always, I love you guys! Thank you for all the support, and as usual, please review!_

Katniss:

I entered my home with the supplies for dinner. I couldn't even remember the last time I had actually cooked a meal in here; it certainly hasn't been since I have been back. I hope I would be able to get things started without needing anything sharp, though I know I would be able to figure something out. I decide to get the pot out and put in the starters for the stew before I get myself ready.

While I was taking my bath, I thought about Peeta's return. I wasn't quite sure of that to make of it in my mind. I was certainly happy to see him, and my heart seemed calmer when I was with him. In one day he accomplished things that other people couldn't for months. I'm not sure how or why he was able to change me the way he did, or does, but I couldn't help but feel frightened. Most people that I cared about were either forever damaged or dead. Peeta himself was captured and tortured just to break me.

I finished my bath, trying to push the negative thoughts from my mind. There had been enough negativity over the past few months, and I just wanted to not think. I dressed quickly and set out to finish my stew. I wasn't sure what time Peeta would be here, but I wanted to keep myself busy. Soon enough, he was at my door, bread in hand and a bag of cooking supplies. He placed the bread on the table and the bag on the counter and together, we finished cooking our meal.

I listened to him talk about various things, but mainly, I was watching how comfortable he was in a kitchen. He moved like water, always flowing, never seeming to stop, but flawless. He kept the mood light, and we sat down with our bowls and he cut the bread.

I finally couldn't hold it in any longer. "Peeta, why did you come back? Why would you choose to come back here, or were you not given a choice?" He put his spoon down and looked me in the eyes.

"I came back because this is where you are. As long as you don't mind me being with you, I would always be by your side." He looked so sincere, so honest, that I didn't doubt his answer. I felt a warmth come to my cheeks. "Are you okay with me being here? Being here with you?"

I knew my answer would be important, even if I wasn't sure exactly what he was implying with him asking about being with me. "I'm happy you came back, Peeta. There were times I thought I wouldn't see you again; that you would live out the rest of your life somewhere else. I certainly wouldn't have blamed you. I don't think to know what it was like from you, when you were taken out of the Capitol, but I can tell you that I am so confused about everything. To use your terms, I'm not even sure after everything what was real and not real."

He continued to watch me, my features, and I knew that this conversation had taken a serious tone. "I know. It really was the most confusing two years probably in any two people's lives. Here is what I can tell you. Everything I told you was real. I know you may not feel the same, and I am not going to push you for anything. What I would like is for us to really get to know each other now. There are no more cameras, Katniss. There is no one threatening us anymore, at this moment, and we can do what I have always wanted to do since I set eyes on you. We can spend our lives just hanging out at each other's houses, throwing together dinners, talking about whatever we want. We can never move past friends, if you don't feel it, but as long as I am with you, it will be all that I need."

"How can you just be satisfied with that, Peeta? How can you always be so selfless, and tell me that even if I can never give you what you want, that you would be fine?" I couldn't understand and I wasn't sure if I ever would.

"One day, I will tell you how. I promise. Tonight is not the night though. Why don't we start off with some simpler things instead?" He then started talking, in his very easy way, about his growing up in the bakery. How he would watch his father, and when his father could, would teach him about decorating, mixing colors. Peeta's father made him into the artist he was. He told me stories of school, people I never had the chance to get to know. Through his story telling though, I felt like I was able to get to know them. He kept the mood light, and we finished our meals, and moved to the living room.

"You know, next time we have a meal, you should tell me things about you. I have been curious forever about your life, your friends. What you thought about things." He smiled at me as he lit the fire in the fireplace.

"I'm afraid I wouldn't have stories that would be as interesting as yours. Things were a bit different for me here in 12." I answered him. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him, I just didn't have the same gift that he did.

"Which is why I want to know. I want to know things about you, Katniss. Not things you had to tell me because of the Games, or for Tours. Things friends would know."

We sat for a while just talking about things, like what our favorite parts of school were, and what we would have maybe done if we weren't reaped. It wasn't negative, or sad, talking about these things. It was comforting, remembering when things may have still been complicated, but not as complicated. It was getting later in the evening, and I couldn't help but feel tired.

"I think I should probably get back to my house for the night. Thank you very much for the dinner, Katniss. I hope we can do this again really soon." He stood up and touched my hand.

"Wait, before you go, I have something for you." I walked into the kitchen and took the extra key out of my drawer. "Trade you, key for key." He smiled as he took it from me and put it in his pocket. "Thank you, Peeta, for tonight. If you stick around, maybe I will get my kitchen utensils back from Haymitch."

"Well, I think I will be sticking around for some time, so you may want to be prepared for that." He hugged me and as he walked out, he turned around one last time. "I will expect to see you tomorrow. You did promise to take care of the breakfast dishes."

I laughed and it sounded odd to my ears. When was the last time I had laughed? The door shut and I whispered, "Goodnight, Peeta."

_Ah, so I got through dinner! I really want to write a normal relationship for two people who probably never had a normal relationship ever. I hope you all enjoyed it, as I said, I do struggle with Katniss a bit. If you liked it, please review! Until next chapter, lovies!_


	14. Chapter 6 - Peeta

_I don't own the Hunger Games. I think I just like to get it out of the way because I would much rather talk to you instead! Thank you all for sticking with me so far! I am really enjoying writing this story, and exploring their relationship. I think there is a lot of deepness, and just sweetness, that one discovers when they first fall in love. So as always, thank you to followers/favorites/and those that have taken the time to leave me thoughts and words. I appreciate you all so much and am floored by the positive response I have received. Who knows, maybe one day I will tackle my own book!_

Peeta:

I walked slowly back to my house after dinner, passing Katniss's key from one hand to the other. I had given her my key this morning so she would know that my house would always be open, and to have her return that gift made me feel almost euphoric. I remember thinking of how it would be going back to 12, and how I wanted to more than anything, but still feared she would reject me once I was here.

I opened my door and walked in, taking off my shoes at the door. I did the breakfast dishes, even if I told her I still expected her too, but really I just wanted her to come here. I needed something to do, to occupy my hands and my mind. There wasn't that many, and I finished quickly. I was walking towards the living room when my phone rang.

The noise startled me. It didn't ring that often, and though it wasn't late, I couldn't imagine who would be calling. "Hello?" I mostly asked, answering the phone.

"Hey Peg-Leg, how's it going?" I heard the throaty voice of Johanna on the other end. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, Jo. It's good. Though you know I haven't been back for more than a day, right?"

"Yeah, I do, but I have to admit, it's kind of boring here without all my favorite breakdown people have left. So, has she moved in yet?" She asked me. I could hear her chewing something while she was talking.

"No, she hasn't moved in. We did have dinner tonight at her place, which was really nice." I told her. She really had no idea, and neither did I before I came here, about what her condition was like.

"You guys are the most boring couple ever. I mean really, finally free, and you guys back together _for dinner?"_ she asked sarcastically.

"Jo, I think the best thing in the world we could be right now is boring. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that it's about time we were able to be boring." I thought about how we came together, in the beginning, forced into things that should have just happened naturally.

"Ugh. Well, call me when something good happens. The good Doctor told me to tell you that he will be calling you both tomorrow, and he wants to make sure he is able to talk to both of you. I'm hanging up, and Peeta? I'm still happy for you."

She had hung up before I was able to answer. I smiled, glad she had reached out. Johanna Mason was nothing if not amusing.

I wanted to go into my painting room, but I was afraid after what had happened last night. I didn't want to have an episode, especially when I was so close to her. I really wanted to keep myself occupied though, so I went in and slowly turned the last picture to face the wall. The sewers was not something I wanted to capture forever.

I grabbed another fresh canvas, making a mental note to ask Aurelius to send me some additional ones. I knew what I was going to paint as soon as I started, taking out bright colors, spreading them out and mixing to make the colors I needed. As I started the first strokes, I knew what I was going to do, and how much work it was going to take. I wasn't afraid of the work, I just hoped that there would be enough supplies to let me get down what I needed.

The sky came first, blue and clear, while I painted the building we all knew as the school. People started filling in the spots, as I painted the ground, but two stood out more than the others. I was painting the first time I saw her, two braids instead of one, standing with her father. The earliest memory of the girl that had taken my heart. It took me hours to complete it, but I was happy with the result. It was a perfect memory, captured in canvas.

I remember her saying often that she didn't think she had any friends; that she wasn't sure that people even noticed her. How wrong she was. So many people noticed the girl with the braids, the girls whose voice could stop birds from singing. She was the object of many hearts, though I would always stay quiet when my friends would talk about how they wanted to ask her on dates. No one ever did though, because she seemed so unapproachable after the accident. I wanted to paint my memories of her, growing up, growing into painting all the things we experienced. The people we met and lost along the way so they would never be forgotten. I would hold onto them until she was ready, until I was ready.

As I finished up, I looked outside of the window at her house. Her lights were dimmed and I hoped that she would sleep well. I knew if she didn't, I would be there, and I debated just going back over to see if she wanted me to stay. I decided not to, because I didn't want to rush anything, or make her feel cornered.

I went to my bed, where she had been the night before. I still had her wet nightgown in the bathroom, which I hung up to dry. The memory of the morning, the sunlight making her glow made my heart ache. She really did have no idea what she did to people. She had no idea what she did to me. I decided that before I went to bed, I would make one phone call of my own.

I rang Haymitch's line, and as expected he wasn't rushing to pick up the phone.

"You have one minute." Was his greeting. He was never one to play nice with words; in fact I always wondered how he was able to get us sponsors in the first place.

"Then I guess I should make good use of that one minute, huh?" I said back to him.

"Ah, the prodigal son. What can I do for you? Did Sweetheart already throw things at you?" I could hear the sound of a glass hitting a surface, so I knew he had been drinking.

"No, actually we had a great day. We went out, had dinner, conversation. I think it was fine." I told him honestly.

"Yeah, I heard she made a town appearance. I was a little surprised. So, what do you need? You seem to have everything figured out?" Though he may have had a gruff exterior, I knew Haymitch had a heart of gold.

"I just need some advice I think, and who better than you to give it to me? Katniss is still a bit shell shocked, so I don't want to push her into anything that she wouldn't be ready for. I don't think I need advice there, but don't worry, I think we will be fine. I need some help with getting the Capitol to grant me some things, and I don't want her to know. I know you still have your connections with the new government, so I am hoping that I can come to you with things that I need." If I wanted to get things going, it was going to take a lot of work and a lot of planning.

"If I am calling in favors, you better tell me what it's for. We can meet up tomorrow if you want, just don't come over early." With that he hung up. I was beginning to think that he and Johanna may have been raised by the same people.

I got myself ready for bed and just spent some time thinking about the day's events. I was able to kiss her hand, hold her hand, and just spend a normal day with her. I knew my love for her was real and hopefully in time she would see that she loved me too. I would wait, as there is no one in this new one or old that would ever be able to take her place. I was convinced that she was my real, would always be my real, and not even the Capitol could fully take that from me.

I turned on my side to face the side where she was the night before. I hoped there would come a time where she would be there every night, but I would let it happen in time. It seemed that for the first time, we actually may have time on our side.

_Well, that is it for the rest of Peeta's night! There is an idea I have for him, a way that seems natural to me as something he would do that I can't wait to explore in the later chapters. I am thinking that they are going to need another date soon though, because I really like them together in the same space. Don't worry, Katniss will get there! I'm sorry if this seems a little slow paced, but I can't imagine Katniss or Peeta would be really all into just jumping into physical things right away. Please leave me some words, I do enjoy them so! Love you, lovies!_


	15. Chapter 7 - Katniss

_Good morning (or afternoon or evening) friends! Its early morning for me, so I am going to update before getting ready for my day here. I am going to jump ahead a few weeks, because while I am still going for the slow burn here, I don't want to bore you all to death with dinners. Plus, we all know regular life just isn't usually that exciting. I do have a request for you all though, and hopefully it is simple. Please throw me a review, even if it as a guest, and let me know what you think! It could be simple, I don't mind good or bad. Tell me what you like or don't like, but reviews really help keep me going! I am really floored by the views, and honored that you are taking the time out of your day to read my mind wanderings! I love you all, now let's see what Katniss has been up to!_

Katniss:

I wake up slowly in my bed, curtains open, and sunlight coming in. It has been a few weeks since Peeta has returned and even I have noticed the small changes in myself. I no longer shut all the windows and I open the curtains. Haymitch begrudgingly gave me back all my sharp objects, and Sae no longer needed to come over to make sure that I was eating. I had put some weight back on (mostly thanks to Peeta bringing me bread and cheese rolls almost daily). I took my phone calls from the Doctor and last week even had a phone call with my mom.

The biggest change was my going out. I had spent so much time indoors, not talking to people, that it was hard to change that piece. Peeta came with me sometimes, and pointed out the things that were changing. They had built a new school for the children. There were still mines, but it wasn't forced labor anymore; people would go if they wanted mining to be their job. There were some people from District 12 who got that going, the old miners, but they were mainly teaching the new people who had come. I had asked Peeta if he planned on opening a bakery, but he shook his head. He told me that was his father's life and passion, but not his. When I asked him what his passion was, I saw him blush and he told me not to worry, he had something figured out to do.

I tried to see it as Peeta had that day. I still go out and look around and try not to see what was, but what will be. I see that there is a large site, one that is roped off, and I don't know what will be going there. I wonder, but no one seems to know.

The new government is really trying to unite all the districts. No longer are you needed to survive just on your own land, but we all reap the benefits of each District's strengths. There is no short supply of grains, meat, oils, pretty things (I noticed one day even a jewelry shop had opened up), even entertainment. It really is an entirely different world from even a year ago. I didn't keep in contact with anyone in the government, that was way too hard, but I hear things from Peeta and Haymitch.

Peeta has been busy, doing various things. Sometimes I would see him in the town, helping people learn how to make their bread or other treats and sometimes I would see him helping to build a new building. He had really made his presence here count, letting the people know, just as he had let me know, that he was here to stay. My nightmares weren't as bad, and not that I missed the nightmares, but I did miss having him with me at night. One night I debated just letting myself in and crawling into bed with him, but that didn't seem right.

I wasn't sure what was going on with me when it came to him. He was also so calm, so gentle, and we would always have dinner every night at his house, or my house. We would spend that time trading stories, learning about each other, things that we never had time to do. I told him about how my father would take me out hunting and to The Hob, how after he died, I had to take care of everyone, and how he really had saved my life not just with the bread, but with the dandelion as well. I told him about my relationship with Prim, at first it was almost impossible to get the stories out, but he would hold me while I cried, and wouldn't press me to finish. I knew what he wanted, what he came back for, but I still feel so broken. There was more than one time that I thought I just didn't deserve him; his strength, his kindness, his never ending feelings.

Sometimes I would look at him and see his eyes in a far off place, and he would excuse himself. Those nights were the worst. I would try to offer him my support, but he would ask me not to follow him and go to his house, or I would go back to mine. I wish he would let me help him, the way he helps me, and one day I will just stay.

I get dressed and head out. I know exactly what I want to do today, and I don't plan on letting Peeta have anything in his plans except for me today. I want to do something special with him, let him know how much he means to me. I walk through the town, nodding at people and smiling at the children. I can't help this, they are so free here, which is something I never thought I would see. They will never know what I have known, never feel the fear of the Reaping. I knock on Sae's door, knowing she would be able to help me.

"Katniss! Look at you all pretty today. I am happy to see you, my dear." Sae says as she invites me in.

"Good morning, Sae. I was hoping you could help me. There is no one as good as you with kitchen skills and I am hoping you can pack me a travel lunch for Peeta and myself." I ask her, a blush coming to my cheeks.

"You both aren't leaving are you?" She asks me worriedly. I can tell she would be devastated if we were to go, so I do my best to let her know that is not the intention at all.

"No, no. I wanted to do something special with Peeta today, so I want to have a lunch to take with us. We are staying in 12, and will be back by dinner." I tell her of my plan and I see her smile.

"Oh, Katniss, you are going to make him so happy. He will love that! He has been here a lot you know, asking questions about what things were like before the bombing." She said smiling.

"That's strange," I begin, "He lived here before the bombing. Why would he need to know?"

"Oh, there was still plenty of 12 he didn't see, dear, just like there was plenty that you didn't see. There are only a few of us, and none that are still here other than myself, that knew of both parts of 12."

This reminded me of my mother, who had been a shop daughter, then a Seam wife, and I knew what she meant.

"Well, Peeta does like to ask questions." I say softly. I wonder what purpose he has to ask these questions.

"Girl, if I may speak out for a moment," Sae starts, looking at me intently, "I always sort of saw you as one of my children. I watched you grow up, as you know and we have a long history, you and I. I saw you when you came back, and I honestly never thought you would come out of your sadness. I know how badly you were hurt, but you have changed so much. Peeta, he is a good boy. I had my reservations watching you both in the Games, but I can see how good he is now. I have a request. Don't hurt him, but mainly, don't hurt yourself. Don't let yourself miss out on something that can be beautiful because you are afraid. Some of us make that mistake, and it is one mistake that can't be fixed. I will pack your lunch, and I will have something waiting for you both at your house for dinner. You take your time today."

I blush even more under her gaze. "Honestly, Sae, I care about Peeta. It's because I care about him that I am scared, because everyone I care about goes away, or dies, or changes. I feel a little like an unlucky charm. I also thought I would be by myself once Prim grew up and moved onto her own life; I never really thought I would ever be with anyone."

"None of us ever thought that. Though I will say this wasn't quite what I expected, I can see what we thought was wrong." I know she is referring to Gale. We stay silent for a moment, and then I thank her and tell her I will be back around noon for the basket.

I head over to Peeta's, knowing he would be awake by now. I knock gently, and he soon opens the door. "Hey you," he says smiling as he pulls my hand and invites me in, "I didn't expect to see you yet!"

"I need you to clear your calendar for today." I tell him, not quite meeting his eyes. I don't know what I am doing, but I can't look at him because I fear I would just run back home and lock myself in the house. Which, now that I think about it, wouldn't work since he has a key.

"Is everything okay?" he asks me and I can tell the tone of worry in his voice.

"Of course. I just want to spend the day with you and show you something." I answer him, trying to not let my voice shake.

"In that case, consider my calendar free. Just give me a couple of moments, okay?" He seems to bounce upstairs, coming back down in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Actually, can you put on some long pants?" I ask him, knowing shorts would not work for him for today.

He looks at me quizzically. "Sure. What do you have planned?"

I look him, at his sweet face, and can't help but smile. "It's a surprise. You aren't the only one who can plan things, you know." I say almost teasingly.

He goes back upstairs, and comes back down, this time in pants. "Did you eat? I wasn't expecting anyone, so I already ate, but I can fix something for you."

"I am good, and I already have lunch planned, so let's head out." I grab his hand, maybe for the first time I have done this myself, and head out the door.

We don't talk too much while we are walking. I can tell he is confused, and it makes me almost giggle. Today won't be easy for me, so I savor the moments of happiness before it all goes. We head to our first stop, to a plot of land that has been cleared out, and I feel my smile start to fade.

"This was my first house, the one that I lived in before the Games. Well, there was a house here once." We both stand at the edge of the land, and I start to walk over it, painting the picture in his mind of where everything was. I tell him the small things, and the big things. I show him where we had Lady penned up, and even though there is nothing there, I can tell he can see it.

During one point, where I was going over where my room was, the room I shared with Prim, he stops me and just holds me. I wasn't crying, but when I look up, I see he has tears in his eyes. "Katniss, you don't have to do this; relive this."

"I want to. I owe it to her to remember. I want you to know her like I did." I tell him. "She was so caring, and warm, that it would hurt more to just leave her buried."

"We can do something here, you know. We can build something here, plant a garden." He offers. We go over the plans of possibly building a community garden where my old house once stood.

"I think Prim would fully agree with your plan." I tell him and smile. I know without a doubt that Prim would jump at the opportunity to have something that could help feed many.

We head over to Sae's and she opens the door, basket in hand. I almost think she winks at me, but I push that thought away. I take his hand again, and start to head to the edge of 12.

"Where are we going, and what's in the basket?" he asks. I look down at our hands, still entwined, and realize that for most of the day so far, we haven't let each other go. Sae's words ring in my mind and I mentally tell myself not to screw this up.

"I am bringing you to the one place I felt free. One place I have never shown you."

We come to where the electric fence once stood, but has since been torn down. I explain how for most of the time, there really wasn't electricity running through there and Gale and I were able to sneak in and out. We enter my woods and I bring him to where I used to hide my arrows. Surprisingly, they are still here, as is my bow, but I don't grab them. I didn't come here to hunt today, but to show Peeta my world as I knew it.

We go deeper into the woods, to the spot where Gale and I would relax. It almost feels like a betrayal for a moment, bringing him to this place where Gale and I spent so much time, but I know this is right. I open the basket and see that Sae has spared no expenses. I bring out the blanket that she packed and put out the spread of sandwiches, cheese, some berries, and a sweet juice made from another fruit.

"Katniss, this place is beautiful. I can understand how you could have found so much peace here." Peeta says softly. "It must have been hard for you in the first Games, with the arena looking so much like woods."

"Oh, there were quite a few differences, though I will admit that I found some of it to actually work to my advantage." I explain. "Without these woods, I may not have had the skills I needed to climb trees." I say, almost jokingly. We never joke about the games, and this is the closest we have ever really come to it. "Don't get too full, we still have one more spot to go to."

We finish our meal, with me doing most of the talking for once. I know Peeta has always wanted me to open up about myself, and this was the best way I knew how. I pack everything back up and place the basket next to a tree. "We don't have to carry this anymore, and we can pick it up on the way back."

We start off again, heading to the one spot that I really wanted to show him. It takes some time, and though Peeta is very steady with his leg, I go slower than normal since the terrain is unsteady. The whole time we talk and hold hands. We reach the clearing, and I let him go ahead of me to where I set out to bring him.

Peeta just stands, speechless, as he stares at the lake. His eyes, his ocean eyes, seem to drink in the water and the scenery. "Katniss, I…"

"I know. This is where my father used to take me. He taught me how to swim here. We spend a lot of time out here when I was younger." I walk towards the lake and pull out a tuber. "This is katniss. It's an edible plant, and also something that helped keep me alive for some time."

He takes it out of my hand and stares out it. "This whole place is breathtaking. I feel like I never knew 12 at all after today. There was so much I never saw."

"Well, technically, I wasn't supposed to see it either, with the fence and all." I smile at him. I give him some time to take it all in, because it truly is a beautiful lake, filled with flowers, greenery, and water. To me, it was peace personified, and not somewhere I brought people too normally.

"Thank you, Katniss. Thank you for bringing me here and sharing this with me. You have no idea how much this means to me." His voice was barely a whisper.

I couldn't help but feel happiness at how happy he was. I was amazed that something so simple could bring someone so much joy. I was beginning to understand, to understand how bringing joy to someone else could bring one so much joy. My heart started to beat faster, my mind made up on what I needed to do and what I wanted to do.

I walked over to him, facing him, taking both of his hands into my own. "Peeta, thank you. Thank you for coming back and bringing me back. I know I still have some work to do, and I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with. I question myself, and you, all the time, wondering if I really deserve you in my life after all I have done."

He looked at me, deep into my eyes. I wanted to look away, but I wouldn't. "You deserve more than I could ever give you. It is because of you that we are even here now, that we could do this. I know how hard it is for you, to open up and…"

As he started talking, I undid one of my hands and placed it on his face. I used my fingers to trace the side, starting with the top and letting my hand rest on his cheek. He stopped talking and I brought my lips to his slowly. I wasn't kissing him this time for cameras or to bring him back from insanity. I kissed him because I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. It started slow, just barely touching. I felt him release a sigh, his mouth opening slightly, and I deepened the kiss. He let go of my other hand and drew me into him, our bodies against each other while we kissed. We had one real kiss, on the beach, and even that one we knew people were watching. This time, the kiss was just for us.

We broke off, not really wanting to, but knowing we had to do so. If we didn't I wasn't sure if I would be able to stop, and it was starting to get late. We had a couple of hours before sundown, but we would need that time to head back. He pulled me back into him, burying his head in my hair.

"I have missed you. I feel so guilty, Katniss, because there were times that I almost wished cameras were back so I would be able to kiss you. This happened, real or not real?"

My heart was so full I felt that it could possibly break when he said those words. "Real." I whispered into his ear, kissing it softly. I heard him sigh again, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine, still soft, but strong at the same time. It didn't last as long, and I told him we needed to head back, and that dinner would be waiting at my house. We made it back to the tree to pick up the basket, and for a few minutes, I held him at the tree, allowing myself to do what my body wanted me to do. We kissed, him against the tree, myself leaning into him. It felt like I never wanted to stop, that kissing him made me feel whole again. I ran my fingers through his hair, felt his face and his neck. I realized that really, this is the first real kissing we have ever done for ourselves and it felt absolutely right.

We got back to the fence and I could see he was blushing, and I knew I must have been as well. We headed to back to the house, hands entwined, but looking forward, and not at each other, like we had some secret that if we did look at each other the world would see.

When we got into the house, we shut the door quickly and I gasped when I saw what was done. There were fresh flowers, a table cloth, a couple of candles that had been lit, and a note from Sae saying dinner was warming in the over. We both smiled when we placed everything out.

"I would say Sae is onto our secret," Peeta began, "Not much gets past her, does it?"

"No, no it doesn't." I answered. I couldn't stop smiling really since the lake and my cheeks seemed almost sore. My lips were certainly numb.

We ate quickly, and cleaned up. I put everything together in the basket to return to Sae in the morning. It was late, and Peeta came over to me, taking my face in his hands.

"I am not going to pretend that I am not happy about today, because really, there couldn't have been a better day in my entire life. I don't know what's going on, and I'm not going to ask you to explain, because I don't want this to go away. I'm going to head home, but if you need me, you know where I am. I want us to do this right, Katniss. You are the only thing I have ever wanted in my entire life, and I promise, we will only progress at whatever speed you need to." He hugged me then, pulling my close and kissing the top of my head. I wanted to kiss him again, to keep kissing him, but I knew if I did, I wouldn't let him leave.

"Goodnight, Katniss. Thank you for today, and thank you for you." He kissed my palm and headed towards the door.

"Goodnight, Peeta. I want you to know that today was everything for me too. Thank you for always being so patient."

We both smiled and he shut the door. I watched him walk to his door from my window until I couldn't see him anymore. I thought back through the whole day, heart racing, and was surprised when I heard a sigh come from my lips. I have never felt anything like this and couldn't believe the emotions and happiness that came with it. I could understand now how my mother could have left her shop life for a Seam life.

I got ready for bed and thought about nothing but Peeta. As I drifted off, I realized that he saved my life once again today, and maybe, just maybe, I was able to finally give him something he deserved.

_Who would have thought my longest chapter would have been Katniss's POV? I hope you all enjoyed this! I wanted her to make the first move, because I don't see Peeta as being the one to do it, knowing the fragile state she was in before. I figured at some point she would want to show him where her most special parts of 12 were, and I figured their first real kiss would happen here. I really, really, hope that she wasn't to OOC, but there is a healing time, and I imagine she would have had to get a little bit softer during this time period. Please let me know what you think, a few short words will do! I would really appreciate it!_


	16. Chapter 7 - Peeta

_First, I don't own The Hunger Games. You sweet lovies, thank you for the reviews! It really means so much to me to know what you all think! Please continue to do so as we take this ride together. Plus, reviews really do inspire me to write faster, so reviews = faster updates (though I don't think it will ever be the 3 updates a day while I was sick). The last chapter was really a lot of fun for me to write. I couldn't wait for them to have a moment, and having Katniss let her guard down a bit and sort of focus on him made me rather happy. Peeta is a sweet boy, and if I can give him at least a couple of good moments, then I want to do so. I am super excited to get into his head after all of this, so let's just jump in!_

Peeta:

I am shaking as I enter my house, and for the first time in a very long time, my shaking doesn't have anything to do with losing my mind. The day, the entire day, was more than I could have ever imagined. We have had moments for the cameras, moments even that were somewhat just ours, like nights on the train and in our arena rooms that we slept in the same bed, but that was for comfort. When it came to feelings, Katniss Everdeen was not one that let people in.

I hated thinking of the Games, though I did often enough; if I really think about it, I can still feel the fear when I heard my name called for the first time, and the determination to hear it the second. I would never forget; to do so would be to not remember those who had given their lives, but it didn't mean I liked to think of it.

Today, though, was a day I would never want to forget; everything from the surprise visit from Katniss, to her making plans for the entire day, to how it ended. How many times had I questioned her motives when it came to her feelings and actions towards me? I remember being so angry, so hurt, after the first game, knowing that what she did was just a survival tactic. I was so cold towards her, never trying to connect with her, but always watching. I knew in my heart if she hadn't done it, we wouldn't both be in the Victor's Village, but what it came down to was I thought that we could have had something real. I had thought that maybe, even though it wasn't in the best of places, that feelings for me could have grown in that arena. I may have been an excellent liar, but I couldn't lie to myself. I was also jealous of the relationship she had with Gale; the easiness that they had together. The only time I had with her before the tour was the paintings I had made of her.

Today changed everything. Every doubt I had was gone. I had reserved myself to the chance that I would never be with her, not in a romantic way. It didn't matter to me in the end, because really, she was all that I had left. I knew I could make a new life, anywhere I wanted, but it wouldn't be enough. I felt that I had experienced too much of not enough for a few lifetimes.

When she kissed me by the lake, my heart exploded. Everything I had ever wanted all completed in one day. She had finally opened up deeper than awkward conversation. She showed me the places that were important to her, her old home and her woods. She showed me the lake her father had taken me too. She just talked about everything, and it wasn't just to fill space. It was as if every single moment was a memory that could not be forgotten. That would have been enough for me, to experience this closeness with her. I didn't think there was anything left in this world that could surprise me, but here she was, still a girl on fire, taking me off guard.

I honestly didn't know or care what any of this meant. If she wanted a relationship, or if she just wanted to kiss me. That was one area I never knew about when it came to her, but I meant what I had told her. I would only move at her pace. My fingers touched the places her lips had been; my mouth, my ear, my cheek. I could still feel them as I sat down on my couch. I couldn't do anything but sit in silence, just going over the day in my mind.

I walked into my painting room, grabbing a fresh canvas. I wanted to capture as much as I could about today, so when my mind wandered into its dark place and I start to question myself, or her, I could be reminded. I started painting the forest, the blanket, lunch out in the open. I painted with our backs turned towards us, so I could capture the scenery just right. My hand worked quickly, sketching out as I remembered it. First, I would do the sketching on the canvas; try to get out as much as I could.

I painted the view I had when I first walked out to the lake. I wasn't sure if I would be able to do the beauty of it justice. All of this was going to be great for what I have planned. There are some paintings I am doing just for us. I started sketching out Katniss, her hand on my face, her lips to mine; us against the tree, basket on the ground; walking hand in hand back to 12.

It took everything I had to not go back to her house, to keep my promise that we would go at her pace, but all I wanted to do was hold her. I could still smell her on my clothes, her earthy tones, and it made me feel at peace.

I went out to go get a drink when I heard a knock on my door. I ran to it, hoping it was her, but when I opened it to discover Haymitch, I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

"Well, I can see that you were expecting someone else." He said as he walked past me and went into the refrigerator.

"Yeah, come in. Make yourself at home." I laughed at him. "Not one for coming during regular visiting hours, I can see."

"I was out, and I saw your lights on. You weren't even home during regular visiting hours anyway. The whole town was talking about your adventure today." Haymitch was taking out some things to make a sandwich. "You want one?" he asked me.

"No, thanks, I ate at Katniss's." I replied. I was surprised he even asked me; if I said yes, he probably would have told me to make his as well. "So, what does bring you here at this time, other than a sandwich?"

"I wanted to tell you that I had news from the Capitol today. It's a go on your project, and they will be sending you what you need for supplies, and sending over the materials as well as blueprints for the building. They wanted to know if you wanted it to be local work, or if you wanted them to send the builders. I figured I knew you well enough to know that you would want local, but I told them to send one or two who could help." He started to eat his sandwich, and took a glass to pour in a drink.

"Thank you, Haymitch. I knew you would be able to help me with this. Can you do me a favor and just make sure no one tells Katniss? I really would like for it to be a surprise." I couldn't help but be excited at how much everything was coming together for me today.

"I can, but listen, there is one little hitch that I couldn't say no to, and I think you may need to be prepared, as well as prepare her." When he said this I could feel my nerves building. Haymitch isn't one to mince words, and I have learned by now that when he says to prepare for something it is usually true. I didn't answer, but nodded, so he could go on.

"When everything is said and done, they want to do the Grand Opening. This isn't going to be just a simple town affair; instead we are looking at the whole deal; cameras, crews, speeches. I don't think I need to tell you that once again, the eyes of the country will be on you and Sweetheart over there. It's looking to be a few months before everything is set into place, and built. I think you should show her and tell her when it is complete and not wait for the opening and festivities. You know how much she loves festivities."

"I think that's a good plan, but there was no way around having the Capitol not come?" I asked him. I was not very excited about the prospect of having this be televised, or everything that came with the Capitol. I knew Katniss would be less than thrilled, and I would definitely have to prepare her.

"Not if you want everything you are asking for. Give and take, Peeta, you know the rules. Speaking of rules, what's going on with you and Katniss? You guys were gone for a while, and Sae was dragging flowers and stuff into her place." He smiled at me, and I knew this was coming.

"We just spent the day together. She showed me the woods, and the lake. We had lunch then dinner." I was not about to tell him the extent of our day. I was holding that inside; not because I didn't trust him, but because honestly, I wanted to keep it to myself.

"And you both held hands all over town. Don't think whatever goes on around town isn't going to be whispered about. Judging by your face, and the deep shade of red, I would even wager that it may have been more than hand holding. I won't press you for details, it isn't my thing, but I want you to know I am happy for you both. I don't get emotional, but I have watched you two for a while. I thought I lost both of you for a while and you both deserve this. Just do me a favor, and don't hurt her. I know you think of her as tough as nails, but trust me, she isn't. She just doesn't know how to be vulnerable. When you spend your life taking care of everyone else but yourself, you don't know how to let others in. It was nice hearing the stories about you two blushing and walking quickly towards your house, like you both were scared someone was going to take you in for questioning." He gave me his half smile, setting his glass on the table.

"You have to know I would never hurt her." I answered him, trying to take everything he said into account.

"I know you would never intentionally hurt her, and maybe there is just no stopping it. If you can help it though, don't. I saw her bad before, and I don't want to see her like that again." His half smile gone, he poured himself another drink and took it in one gulp. It almost seemed to me like he was trying to drink away the memory.

"How bad was she; When she was here, alone?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"I'm not going to tell you all the details. It was just bad. She wouldn't talk if she was awake, and she would scream if she was sleeping. Quite a few nights Sae and I would take turns staying over, just to make sure she wouldn't do anything stupid. There were a few nights where it was lucky we heard her screaming. Most of the time, Sae took the house next to hers, to make it easier at night, but once she started to get better, she went back to where she was more comfortable."

"When you say do something stupid, what do you mean?" My heart was beating faster, because I knew. Of course I knew how lost she felt. I had the luxury of around the clock care and she was thrown back into her home, with no one. How this could have been safer, I don't know.

"I said I wasn't going into details, and I won't. I will tell you that sometimes, she would be sleeping and not know what she was doing. She would scream and cry, and yell for people, none of which could come. I really don't want to talk about this anymore, Peeta. Let's just focus on the future."

"Just one more thing, please; you said she would yell for people. Who did she yell for?"

"Prim, mostly, sometimes Finnick or Rue, people long gone who couldn't hear her. She would eventually calm down though, and she would cry for you."

That was all I needed to hear. I thanked him for everything and asked him to shut the lights off when he was done. I grabbed the key out of the drawer, and headed towards my door.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a stunned look on his face.

"I'm going where I should be. Just turn the lights off, okay?" I answered as I shut the door. I ran the few feet to her house and I could see her upstairs light on. I tried to turn the handle, but it was locked. I knocked on the door, so she wouldn't be alarmed by my opening it. I put the key in, and as soon as I heard the door unlock, pushed it open. I wasn't to the stairs yet, when I saw her come down, hair out of her usual braid, in a robe.

"Peeta, are you okay?" she asked me with a worried expression. I couldn't tell her Haymitch had told me about how bad her episodes were. Something he said came back to me, about her always taking care of people, and that was what she was used to. I didn't want to lie to her, but I didn't want her to feel betrayed either. I didn't want her to think I thought of her as weak, which is how I knew she would see it.

"I just didn't want to be alone tonight." I told her, and it was the truth. "Is it okay if I stay here? I can sleep on the couch." Luckily, I had changed into my painting clothes, which were pretty close to sleeping clothes, and I didn't have paint on them since I was just sketching. "You wouldn't need to do anything; I can just build a fire and relax here." She came down the rest of the stairs and gave me a soft kiss.

"I'm glad you came. I didn't want to be alone tonight either. You aren't sleeping on the couch though. How many times have we slept in the same bed?" She looked so innocent, in her bathrobe, hair down. She was so beautiful.

"Yeah, but we weren't, I don't know…" I started to say when she put a finger to my mouth.

"It's okay, Peeta. We can still sleep as we did without anything changing." She took my hand and led me upstairs. I stopped off in the bathroom to wash up a bit before heading into the bedroom. She was already in bed, under the covers, but had them turned up for me to climb in. As soon as I did, she came over to my side and rested her head on my shoulder and I drew her in.

I could feel her breathing changing and I knew she was falling asleep, in my arms, safe from the world. Haymitch didn't have to worry; I would die before I hurt her. I would give my life to keep her safe. I rolled to my side, so I could hold myself against her, to protect her. Even in her sleep, she matched my movements, and I felt her legs wrap around me, her arms came around me. I laid my head against her hair, and just breathed her in. I could feel myself slipping into comfortable sleep. I never wanted to be without her again, even for a night. "Oh Katniss, I love you so much." I whispered into her hair. I almost thought I heard something, something that sounded like real, but I thought it was just my mind, already dreaming.

_Thank you so much for those who reviewed. I agree with so many of the points; like I too felt slight disappointment at the end of Mockingjay for not being able to see their relationship grow, and how I want them to move slowly, because I feel like after what they have both been through it wouldn't do them justice to have them be intimate right away. Personally, I feel that there can be many intimate moments without going to that level. I debated a bit on even bringing them to the same bed, but really they have been doing this for so long as a source of healing, and comfort, that I considered it okay to let them still have that peace. There is still a lot for them to learn about each other, and some demons that need to be addressed before they can get to that level. I have played around with it so much in my mind concerning Katniss's character, about how she would be, and while I cannot say for certain that this is it, Katniss feels right to me. Someone who has gone through so much would not be unchanged. I am not saying that her hardness may not come out at times, or that I am ready to throw them a curveball (not just yet) but I just want to give them some happy fluffy cloud moments. Thank you so much, and if you could be so kind to review, I would love you always. I already love you always, but reviews are like whipped cream on hot chocolate. _


	17. Chapter 8 -Katniss

_Early morning update yet again! I don't think there will be an early update morning tomorrow, and hopefully I can get through this chapter before I get to work. I want to thank you all again for your reviews, follows, and favorites. They mean the world to me! This is where the hard part begins, the parts where I really need to flesh this out so you all aren't reading updates of dinners and breakfast conversations. Time may start to move forward a bit, but don't worry, it won't go that fast! Oh, I don't own The Hunger Games. I wish I could just put a giant disclaimer out in the front so we don't have to go through this every chapter._

Katniss:

Time passes as it does, with no regards to who or what could be going on. It's rather careless like that. Things have definitely changed with Peeta and myself. While we aren't living together in one house, we are living together in every other sense of the word. We alternate houses, and it's a good thing that they are so close. Peeta seems to be busy most days, though I am not sure what he planning, but he tells me it will be a surprise. I am not really into surprises, but I can see how happy this makes him, so I decide I won't press him for any additional information.

After our day out in the woods a few weeks back, we always try to take at least one day a week to go out there and spend time together; just the two of us. At first, we tried to walk around the town to places that he frequented in the town, so I could learn about him, but most were gone. We stopped together at the site of the old bakery, and together we laid flowers at the site. He did tell me about his family life, which honestly, was not how I imagined it to be at all. I remember growing up as a Seam child, and thinking the life of the Shopkeeper's children was remarkably better than ours. What I learned is that while they may not have struggled in the same way, they did have similar issues. He talked about his father a lot more than his mother, and I couldn't blame him. Peeta's father was a gentle man and I would never forget the kindness he showed me on the first reaping day, even going as far as to tell me he wouldn't let Prim starve.

The garden was coming along nicely as well. Plenty of people from the town had pitched in to make the ground suitable for growing a community garden. It was hard at first, having so many memories buried in the dirt, but I stayed focused, thinking of how much Prim would have enjoyed this idea.

The town really has come together in a lot of ways, building needed places, like the school and an actual hospital (which Peeta and I both agreed we would not actually enter unless it was absolutely necessary. We had seen enough white rooms to last us the rest of our lives). I knew they were looking for teachers for the school, and I was thinking about possibly doing that, though I didn't think I would be able to right now. The only part of town I really did enjoy was the children, but I didn't feel confident enough in my public speaking to be able to actually be responsible for a group of them. Peeta and I did have a discussion about finding something to do to occupy my time, but I told him that I would find the right thing at the right time.

This morning was a planned day for Peeta and myself, so I woke up to find him already in my kitchen, making breakfast.

"I hope you're hungry." He said to me as he walked over and kissed my forehead. "Oh, and good morning."

"I am slightly hungry, thanks," I smiled back at him, "Since you have breakfast, I'll get lunch together after we are done."

We sat down to eat and true to his word, Peeta did make too much food. We decided to leave a basket on Haymitch's door for whatever time he decided to actually come out. I wondered what was keeping him away so much, but Peeta said he was busy with things as well and he would make appearances as needed.

I packed our lunch quickly, since breakfast was so much, I knew we wouldn't need a big lunch. We weren't going to the lake today. The site that was roped off before now had a team of people working around it, all who nodded and waved to us as we walked by.

"What do you think is going on there?" I asked Peeta. He looked towards the ground, brows furrowed, and with an expression I hadn't seen on him before.

"I don't know yet." He answered, but he said it rather softly. I stopped to look at him, since he looked so, different, and he pressed us forward.

A little girl came running over to us. "Hi, Katniss and Peeta! Are you guys going out again?" she asked us, blond hair pulled back in a braid very similar to my own.

"Yes, we are. I like your hair." I said, giving her a little wink. Most of the girls in the district had the braid, and I was starting to think I should do something else with my hair.

"You know so much about them! I hope one day you can take me too; I want to see what is out there, but Momma said I can't go alone." She looked sad about it, and I recognized the spirit, the wanting to see what else is in the world.

"I promise, one day, I can take you out there and show you. I can even show you some plants that you can eat, and give you some ideas to make for your family one night." I said, bending down to her level.

She perked up at this, "Oh, thank you! I am sure if you were with me, my Momma would let me go!" Then, before I knew what was going on, she lunged herself at me, enveloping me in a hug. If I wasn't so good on my feet, I may have fell backwards. I looked up at Peeta and he had such a warm smile.

"Ok, so you tell me your name, and where you live, and I will try to set something up," I promised her when she let me go and I could straighten myself back up.

"I'm Darlene and we live over by the Square. It's a blue house, the only blue house on the street!" She said excitedly. "Thank you, Katniss, and I really can't wait for you and Peeta to get married!" Peeta and I both blushed at this.

"Well, Darlene, when that happens, you will be the one to get the first invitation." Peeta says to her gently.

I start to panic a little talking about marriage. Neither Peeta nor I had brought it up, but of course a lot of people still thought we were engaged. We hadn't spoken of it, since we were not at that point yet, but I still didn't think I was ready for marriage. I couldn't see myself with anyone but Peeta, but that still seemed a far way off.

Peeta must have noticed my expression, because he took my hand, and said our goodbyes to little Darlene. Once we were out of earshot he tried to bring up the teaching thing again.

"You know, Kat (sometimes he called me Kat, which I wouldn't stop him, but my heart would always hurt a little. It was so close to another nickname I had long ago), you really should think about teaching. You are so great with the kids here, and they all love you." He told me.

"Well, most of them came from other parts of Panem, Peeta," I started, "And I can't help but think that thanks to the Capitol and 13, all with their cameras, that they were programmed to love me."

"Don't be silly. You don't need cameras to be lovable, Katniss. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You are a natural with children, and you always have been. Besides, plenty of people were not programmed to love you and did so regardless." He said seriously. "What about Haymitch and Effie? Cinna? Your prep team? Sae and all the Hob people? They all loved you before and after cameras. They got to know you. I got to know you, but even before then, I have always loved you."

We stop walking for a minute. I want to tell him that I love him too, that I can't ever imagine living without him, but I can't. The words just aren't able to come out of my mouth. Instead, I show him by kissing him slowly, hoping all the things that I can't say are expressed in my kiss.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it back, or do anything if I tell you I love you. I don't really think it's a secret. When and if you are ever ready you can say it, but don't do anything because you don't want too, or because you feel like you are obligated."

"I wasn't kissing you out of obligation, Peeta." I retort. I am almost offended that he thinks that was what I was doing, but in a way I realized he could be right.

"Okay, well then feel free to kiss me anytime, but for now, let's keep going." Peeta grabs my hand and we set off for the woods.

Our relationship is complicated to say the least. We do kiss, but never beyond that. We wrap ourselves around each other every night, as we had before the second games, but it is just to be close. I don't know how I feel about taking it further. I kiss Peeta, and I feel like I can never kiss him enough. It's a hunger that starts with my lips and just spreads all the way down my body. When we are in bed and it starts, our bodies move together, somehow without thinking, and we almost fit together like a puzzle. His hands, they touch my face and my hair, but never further. My hands have touched his face, hair, chest, arms, but never more than that. Just thinking of these moments make me blush, and I don't understand what is going on, but we always stop. Knowing that we have each other is enough and neither one of us wants to do anything that we may regret later.

We get to the spot and just lay out the blanket. Peeta has brought his sketchpad and begins to draw me. I have a book that Sae lent to me, a rare treat back in the old days of 12, but now I hear that we will have a library where there will be plenty of books to read.

"Hey Katniss, have you heard from Gale at all?" Peeta asks me, surprising me out of my book.

"No. Why would I have?" I say almost defensively. We haven't really discussed Gale, or why we fell out, and it was always a sore subject for me.

"Well, I just wasn't sure. I can't imagine you not missing him, being that he was your best friend." Peeta states.

It takes all my strength to not get angry, to not run away from Peeta.

"Do we have to talk about this?" I ask him. It really isn't something I was in the mood to go over.

"I think we should. Listen, Kat, I want us to heal and move on. I think in order to do that, we have to at least talk about some things from our past that maybe haven't healed."

I felt my eyes getting watery, and I wasn't sure what he meant about moving on. "He could have killed my sister, Peeta." It was the one thing I wasn't sure I would be able to forgive him for.

"He didn't kill your sister, Katniss. I think we both know Gale wouldn't have hurt Prim. We all knew she wasn't even supposed to be in the Capitol at that time. I know that he hurt you, and yes, he could have been behind the design of attack, even he can't deny that. I just don't think that he killed Prim, and I think you know that too."

"Why are we talking about this, Peeta? Why would you bring this up? What do you think I should do, invite him over for dinner? Maybe see if he wants to go hunting? What's done is done and so is this conversation." I said, standing up and heading back. I heard Peeta calling after me, but I kept going. I knew he would be able to find his way home, and I just didn't want to deal with talking about Gale or Prim anymore.

I was angrily walking through town when I realized that I didn't want to go back to my house. I decided to go to Haymitch's figuring by this time, he would be up. I banged on his door, not very quietly, and waited for him to answer.

I heard the sound of him coming and when he opened the door, I walked in before he could even say anything.

"Whoa, Sweetheart. What got you so riled up today?" he asked as he shut the door.

I gave him a look and sat down at his table. "Peeta is trying to interfere on my relationship with Gale." I told him angrily.

"What relationship with Gale?" he asked sitting down and pouring himself a drink.

"Do you ever not drink?" I asked him snidely.

"Do I ever tell you what you should be doing with yourself, especially when I just barge into your house?" he shot back. Haymitch had a point, and there was a reason why I came here. It certainly wasn't to talk about his drinking, which I knew was a pointless argument.

"Well, that's the point," I said, finally answering his question. "There is no relationship with Gale, and there won't be again, so I don't understand why he needs to bring it up."

Haymitch looked at me for a while, not saying anything, just drinking his drink and eating his pastries that we had left for him in the morning.

"Well?" I asked him.

"Well, what?" he asked me back in return.

"Why would he need to open that up? He knows how I feel about Gale, and how I felt after Prim died." My voice got a little shaky when I said the last part.

"Listen, Katniss, I could think of some very good reasons, but I don't know if you are ready to hear them. Regardless, I am going to give them to you anyways, because I think you need a bit of tough love. Whether you want to realize it or not, Gale was important to you. So important, that over half this town for a long period of time, assumed you were going to marry him. If the Games never happened, you may have." I started to interrupt but he cut me off. "I can see from Peeta's point of view that maybe he just wants to make sure that there isn't a chance of that. Since it is Peeta though, and probably the most selfless human being I have ever met, I don't think that is the case. I think it is because he loves you, and he knows that not having communication with someone who used to be their best friend could be painful. It could hold you back from moving forward in your own life. I told you once that you could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, and while I still hold to that, I think you have been through enough and deserve some happiness. You have a chance of that with Peeta, but only if you face your demons. No one knows that better than he does. Don't screw this up, Sweetheart, because you know what happens when you do?"

He doesn't wait for me to answer, but shows me instead. He lifts up his bottle and puts it in the air as a salute to no one. He takes a long drink, puts the bottle down and looks me in the eye.

"You become me."

_And there we have the first dispute of our Star Crossed lovers. I was brainstorming this morning with my roommate and wondering what could I possibly do, and this wasn't even really something that came up. I think that is why I enjoy writing this story so much; it kind of writes itself and flows into its own direction. I know she shouldn't have left Peeta there, and it hurt me, and I think the next chapter will hurt me as well, but there needs to be some conflict, some things that they have to learn about each other given that they are so different. All relationships have a give and take piece to them, and sometimes what someone thinks would be best for us can be a trigger for something else. Don't worry, I can tell you 100% that there will not be a love triangle. Katniss does know that she loves Peeta, even if she can't say it, and she doesn't think of Gale in that way. I don't see Katniss going back into that territory. Also, remember if this doesn't ring a bell because update notifications can be a little off, be sure to go back a chapter and read that one first. 3 you all!_


	18. Chapter 8 - Peeta

_I don't own The Hunger Games. Yay! Now we can continue. I hope that people aren't angry with me because they had a fight! I only had one review last chapter, which made me fearful that maybe I lost some of you lovies because I had to give them a bit of conflict. Personally, I think like any new relationship there will be some growing pains, and when you have two people like Katniss and Peeta, there will be quite a few. She doesn't trust easily and in pretty closed off, and he pretty much was programmed to kill her at one point. Forewarning, this chapter won't be pretty either, because I have not tackled Peeta's demons at all and it is time. Just hang out with me for the ride, and I promise we'll make it through okay. Leave me a review and let me know you aren't mad at me!_

Peeta:

I watched her walk away from me, quickly trekking through the woods until I couldn't see her anymore. I was surprised; I didn't think my conversation with her would have ended this way. I didn't have anything to say, or anyway to make her stay. I could find my way back, we had been here enough over the last couple of weeks to where I was familiar, but her just leaving left me in a state of desolation. Didn't she know that I wouldn't bring up anything to hurt her? I was just concerned that she wouldn't be able to move forward with herself if she didn't make peace with her past. I could see the shaking before I even felt it.

"How can you be surprised that she left you?" I heard the familiar dark voice say. I knew the voice, but not the face. It was the voice of the one who would inject me with venom when I was tied in a chair, show me videos, and tell me how evil Katniss was.

"No. Not now, I can't do this now." I said out loud to no one, quickly getting up. I couldn't be out in the woods if I was going to have an episode. I needed to be home. I was scared to go home, because I was scared I would see her.

"What would happen if she saw you? I bet she would try to kill you again." The voice said, taunting me as I was walking. "Notice that as soon as you mention Gale, she left you as quick as she could. She would always leave you for Gale; she's just biding her time with you until she can get him back."

I tried to not hear the voice, to ignore it, but it just kept getting louder. "Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire, the one who blew up a district and killed your family. She's just waiting to catch you off guard you know, so she can finish you off too. She let you come back here to see that nothing remained of your family, and then she will kill you, too."

I reached the town, trying so hard to not break down in front of everyone. I almost couldn't see straight, everything fading in and out. I walked by the garden and had the urge to start destroying it. It was so strong, I couldn't help but go over and start pulling out the sprouts that had started to grow.

"That's right, destroy it. You should destroy everything associated with her. You need to get to her before she gets to you and stabs you in the heart." The voice was screaming in my head, pictures flashing of Katniss on top of me, snarling, trying to stab me. "You would be doing the world a favor if you just finally got rid of her."

"Peeta Mellark! What are you doing?" I heard another familiar voice yell. I turned around to see Sae, and put myself in a defensive stance.

"She's poison, Sae. She just uses everyone to get what she wants. She kills everyone!" I yelled to her. A few people stopped walking and was just looking at me, but I didn't care. It was time people really knew her.

Sae started walking towards me slowly. "Peeta, I want you to just come to my house with me. It's right over here and we can talk. You can tell me all about it, but how about we just go now?" she asked me softly. The closer she got, the more paranoid I became. She was on _her _side, not mine. No one cared what happened to me as long as _she _was still alive. I started to hear another voice in my mind. It started small, then got slightly louder. I realized it was Johanna's voice.

"Don't let them win. Don't let them win. Remember what they did to us, what they took. DON'T LET THEM WIN. I will personally kick your ass, Peg-leg." I started to soften, only a little, but it was enough to allow Sae to gently take my hand.

"I have some really nice tea I just bought today. Come have some with me. You would be doing an old lady a great service by providing me some company." Sae whispered to me, very aware of the scene I was causing.

I could only get out a choked "okay" and she led me to her house. Once behind her closed door, she looked at me concerned. "What do I need to do? Do I need to secure you?" she asked me. There was no malice to her voice, just general concern.

I nodded to her, and she brought me to a chair, put a pillow against the back so I could be somewhat comfortable, and tied me to it. She disappeared for a bit, and I heard her talking to someone, though no one was in the house. I hoped that she wasn't calling _her._

"Haymitch is a bit occupied right now but will be over as soon as he can." She told me. "I know about your episodes, and honestly, I am a bit surprised that this is the first one we have really seen."

"How can you trust _her?_" I snarled, still battling the voice that was telling me that they were going to keep me tied up so it would be easier for Katniss to find me.

"Oh, sweet boy, what did they do to you? You know that what you are going through, thinking; these things aren't true. Let's talk about it, okay? You tell me what you are thinking?" I could see her eyes getting watery and I couldn't understand why.

"She left me. She left me for him. She never wanted me, and she just wants to kill me. After everything I have done for her, in the end I will always be nothing in her eyes. She destroys people, and homes. She destroys all of us in the end." I could hear Johanna screaming in the background, telling me to shut the hell up.

Sae grabbed another chair and put it in front of mine. "I saw you guys leave this morning, so I am assuming you got into a fight about Gale. Am I correct?

"Yes. All I did was tell her that he didn't kill her sister, and she just left me." My rage was building and I wanted to thrash against the bindings.

"Okay, so let's start with simple things. You think she wants to kill you. Don't you guys sleep in the same bed every night? If so, wouldn't she have ample opportunity to kill you at any one of those moments? I can't think of anything that she would want to do less, to be honest."

I didn't answer her, but just sat there.

"You think she wants Gale? I've told you, and I am sure other people have told you, that yes, we thought she would be with Gale. That changed. I also couldn't think of anyone better for her than you. You both complement each other, make each other whole. She doesn't love Gale, Peeta. She loves you. Even if she hasn't told you that, I can tell you that. She spent months, in her house, never coming out. You come back for one day and she made more improvements than any of us were able to do for months. I need you to come back to us, Peeta. We all love you and need you. You are welcome to sit here, and we can talk things out. When you feel like I can untie you, I will. I trust you, and I know where your heart really is."

We sat in silence for a while before I speak. I tell Sae about the game, the real or not real game and ask her if she would help me. She agrees and I begin to question.

"Katniss left me for Gale." I say simply.

"To the best of my knowledge, not real." She answers.

"Katniss doesn't care about me and wants to kill me." I say next.

"Absolutely not real." She answers without hesitation.

"We held hands in town." This one was harder to get out, because it conflicted with the rage.

"Many times real."

"She smiles at me."

"Also, very real. It's a bright smile, one reserved for someone you love."

We go on for a bit before there is a knock at the door. Haymitch walks in, Sae never getting up from her chair and keeping eye contact with me. He sighs sadly when he sees me.

"How you doing there, boy?" he asks gently. He places his hand on my shoulder and I surprise myself by not flinching.

"I think I have been better." I answer him.

"Well, it's good to see that you still have a sense of humor. Do you think we can untie you?" I can tell he is uncomfortable with having me tied up. I mull this over in my mind, and I can hear Jo clearer. The other voice has faded thanks to her and Sae.

"I think we could be safe doing that." I say, and I allow Haymitch to untie me. It feels nice to be free.

"Sae, I'm sorry. I am really sorry." I say and I start to cry. She takes me in her arms, without fear or hesitation, even though she just saw the darkest side to me.

"You cry it out. No one here blames you after all you have gone through. I am just glad we have you back." She says to me gently. I stay there for a bit, until I almost exhaust myself.

Haymitch stands back, and lets Sae comfort me. I am so lucky it was her who found me and not someone else. I am so grateful I didn't hurt anyone. I am still slightly confused, but I am not rage filled anymore.

When I am done, we have a cup of tea and Haymitch offers to walk me home. I am surprised to see it is dark out as we head home. For once, Haymitch doesn't seem to have a lot to say. When we get to my house he just asks me one question.

"Are you going to hurt her?"

"No." I know I won't. That urge had been gone for a while and I knew I would be no danger to her.

I said nothing else, and just went into my house. Part of me was hoping she would be here, waiting for me so we could talk, and another part of me was grateful that she wasn't here, because I was almost afraid I would slip up and go into another episode.

I went into my painting room and looked at the finished paintings I had done of our first kiss. I looked at the expression on her face, and even in my darkness, I could see the softness on her face. This wasn't the face of a monster or a killer. This was a gentle face, a beautiful face.

"There you go, now you have it." I could hear Jo in my head. I made a mental note to write her a letter, just to say hello. She wouldn't know it, but her voice in my head was part of what saved me today. I stopped for a moment, hearing voices outside. Loud, yelling, voices.

I went downstairs to the door. I listened for a bit, and while I couldn't quite make out what was being said, I knew it was Haymitch and Katniss. I opened it slightly so I could hear.

"You can't stop me from seeing him!" I heard her yell. She sounded angry, but not homicidal.

"Sweetheart, it wasn't a good day for him, just like it wasn't a good day for you. Go home and go to bed. See him tomorrow." Haymitch told her, his voice dropping.

"Don't tell me what to do, Haymitch. I am going to see him; I need to apologize, and I need to see him. Do you think after telling me he had an episode I am going to leave him alone? I don't care if he attacks me, as long as I can apologize first. Damn it, Haymitch, get the hell out of my way!" I could see her try to push past him, but he was much bigger than her. It was all I needed to hear.

I pushed the door open and came out. I ran over to them, pushing Haymitch out of the way; not hard, but enough to get me to her. She flew into me, almost catching me off guard and buried her head in my chest.

"Peeta, I'm sorry, I 'm sorry, I'm sorry." She kept saying over and over while sobbing. I brushed back her hair and told her it was okay.

"It isn't okay! I shouldn't have left you there alone. I should have talked to you, been with you. I didn't mean to hurt you, I would never mean to hurt you." She cried.

"I know. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you about Gale. Come inside with me."

Haymitch just looked at both of us and nodded his head. "I really don't know what to do with you kids, but I am going home. Don't kill each other." He said as he walked back home.

We went inside the house and as soon as the door was shut, she was against me, lips on mine, and I could taste her tears on her lips. She was kissing me with a passion she had never kissed me before, almost hungrily. I pushed her back gently, and went to get a wet cloth. I wiped her face of her tears, gently, until the only evidence of her crying was her eyes.

"Katniss, you don't have to apologize anymore. It's really okay." I pulled her to me in another hug. If my words couldn't convince her, maybe my actions could. "We know between the two of us, these things may happen from time to time, and we will get through them."

"I thought I lost you, Peeta. I thought I had messed everything up again, just like always. I am so sorry I was so selfish."

"You won't lose me. I may have moments, like the one today, and I wouldn't want you to be here for them, but I will always come back. I love you, Katniss. I will always love you."

Her lips were on mine again, this time gentler than before, but still filled with a longing. Even if she couldn't tell me in words, I could feel her answer in her kiss. We somehow ended upstairs, and together we found our bed. Our lips seemed everywhere, hands reaching out in the darkness for the other. Soon, she had found her way above me, her hair flowing into my face. She kissed me slowly, letting her lips linger on mine, until we were breathing each other in. I felt her weight on me, and it surprised me. Never had we been this close, I could feel her hands on me, steadying herself and she deepened her kiss. It moved from my mouth, to my cheek, to my ear, to my neck. I knew if we kept going there may be no going back.

"Katniss," I managed to breathe out, "Darling, we need to stop for a moment and talk." She stopped kissing me and looked at me.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, and I knew she was worried that I may not fully be over my episode.

"It's perfect, but I just don't know where this will go if we keep on this. Even saying this is hard, because I don't want to stop. I am just afraid that tomorrow morning you wouldn't think the same about this. I told you before, I wanted to move at your pace, and I don't want to do this because you feel guilty." I was honestly concerned that her motivations were out of guilt, though I could feel her words in her kisses.

"Peeta, I only want to be with you." She answered, sounding a little lost. "I don't want to be with anyone else."

"You have already shown me that. We don't have to confirm it tonight. I want it to be at the right moment, and not after both of our emotions have peaked. Can we agree on that?" I ask her, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

"You're right," she said gently, "You are mostly always right. Not always, but mostly."

I smiled and hoped she could see it. I gently kissed her forehead and got up to change for bed. She was already in her bed clothes, so she stayed. When I was done and climbed into bed next to me, she reached out for me. I let her hold me tonight, her fingers going through my hair gently. She started to sing softly, a song I wasn't familiar with, but sounded beautiful coming from her. It was a song about destiny, about loneliness and waiting, longing, and finally coming together. She may be not be able to say the words "I love you" but I think of something that may be able to allow her to get it out. Sleepily, I turned my face towards hers.

"Katniss, can I ask you something?" I ask once her song has finished.

"Anything." She answers while touching my face gently.

"You love me. Real or not real?"

I feel her sharp intake of breath and her pause before she answers. Momentarily, I worry that maybe I have pushed her too far twice in the same day. She brings her lips to mine, kissing me so softly I barely felt it.

"Real." I could see her face slightly in the moonlight, the smile on her face.

I go back to my original position and find myself drifting off to sleep after a very long day. It was a long, horrible day, with the best possible ending.

_Ok, see, they made up. Now, I know I threw the line in there and if I was staying strictly canon, I think they would have already been intimate when she finally admits to loving him. I needed to switch it up though, and I think it was left a little vague, so I took some liberties. It still isn't time for that yet, but I am sure it will happen eventually. I hope you all enjoyed this, and hopefully, you all forgive me now! It may not be the last fight they end up in, but again, you have to have some conflict, or it would be just meals and fluff!_


	19. Chapter 9 - Katniss

_Good morning (afternoon/evening)! I don't own The Hunger Games and this chapter may take me a little longer to get out (not that you know how long it takes me normally to write a chapter, but I am dealing with quite a headache). I still don't know how long it will take me to complete this story; I just know there are a few things I need to do, and there are sometimes things that happen that I didn't even expect (like their fight yesterday may have been due to my PMS issues). So, basically, I would say we are probably at least halfway, if not slightly more. Thank you all for reading/reviews/follows/favorites! I really appreciate it. _

Katniss:

I wake up next to Peeta, surprisingly still sleeping. He is almost always awake before me but after last night, I can understand his needing more rest. I slip out of bed and head downstairs to start breakfast. As I go through the fridge, taking out some eggs and milk (I was not a baker), I blushed when I thought of the last nights events and how bold I was. I was grateful Peeta had enough mind to stop, not that I truly understood at the time, but he was right. Growing up, I never really had any knowledge of what happens in those situations, how strongly your body can take over your mind, or the absolute hunger that can come from just kissing someone.

I also remember the other big part of the night, his giving me the opportunity to tell him I did love him without saying the words themselves. Other than Prim, I had a very hard time using that word, but when I thought about it deep down, I truly did love him. I don't know what would have happened to me if he hadn't come back.

Luckily, Peeta still has bread from the day before, so I toast some to go with the eggs. I don't want to wake him, so I figure that I will eat first and then make him something to bring to him. I had some plans for the day, and I knew he did as well, so I wanted our morning to be as nice as possible. I take my time while planning what I needed to do, and after getting that situated, I start his breakfast.

I walked it upstairs, complete with a cup of tea without sugar, and placed it down at his bedside. I woke him with soft kisses on his face until I saw his smile, and then his eyes open.

"Mornin'" he says sleepily.

"Morning to you." I reply back. "I made you some breakfast, but I am going to head home soon. I just didn't want to slip out while you were sleeping."

"Thanks. What are your plans for the day?" he asks me, sitting up. The sight of his bare chest makes me blush slightly, and I look away, remembering again how it felt to be over him.

"Oh, just a few things, nothing major." I say vaguely. We both have our things that we do, and I know he is planning something.

"Dinner tonight at your place?" he asks, not caring that I am not going into details.

"Of course." I give him another quick kiss before I stand up. It is so hard to leave him sometimes, even when I know that I will see him before the days end. I hate being away from him, and after yesterday, even more so.

"See you then. Oh, and Katniss? Thank you for last night. Whenever I think that nothing can go better, you always surprise me." I see a slight blush rise in his cheeks and I know he is thinking about the same things I was.

"If there is ever anything to thank me for, this is not it." I say while leaving, yelling a "See you later" before I head down.

Once outside, I see it is a beautiful, warm, day. I enter my house, realizing I never even turned off any of the lights before I had run out. I went through the house turning everything down and go to my room. I grab some paper and pencils and head down to sit on the couch. It was going to be a hard day for me, that was certain, but most likely a needed one.

My phone was ringing, so I got up to answer it. I thought it may be Peeta, but I couldn't figure out why he would be calling me so soon after I left.

"Hello?" I answered hesitantly. I still wasn't very used to actually using the phone in the house.

"Good to hear you alive, Sweetheart." I heard Haymitch's slurred voice.

"I think you need to learn to trust us more." I say back gently. The sound of his voice gives off the impression that he hadn't slept much, and that would have been due to Peeta and myself.

"Maybe if you guys didn't go crazy, I would be able too." He answers. "I just wanted to check on you, make sure that you were still alive. I think the Capitol would execute me if you ended up dead because I let Peeta kill you."

"I am sure you were worried just because of that." I knew Haymitch well enough to know even if he wouldn't admit it, he cared about us. "Thanks for checking up on me. Listen, I may have a couple of things to send over to the Capitol. Can you take care of that for me?"

"I guess? What would you have to send to the Capitol?" He asked me, sounding more confused than drunk at this point.

"Just a letter to my Mother." I answered. I didn't like lying to him, but I wasn't willing to let him in on anything.

"Yeah, whatever. I am going to bed, so don't come over until later." With that he hung up, leaving me holding the phone.

I placed it back in the receiver, and went back to the couch. I did start to write a letter to my Mother, the first one I had written since I came back. I asked how she was, how she liked her job. I told her about all the things that were going on in 12, and about the community garden where our old house once stood. I thought she would like that as well, knowing that the ground which held so many unpleasant memories for both of us would hopefully provide good memories for others. I told her even of my new relationship with Peeta, and how that was going. I assured her that we were taking things slowly, and just learning about each other. I figured she would be happy with that, knowing that I was rebuilding my life. I extended to her an invitation to visit if she ever wanted, and that I planned on fixing up one or two of the houses in the Village for visitors, in case she didn't want to stay in this house. As I wrote these words, I realized how much I would like to see her. I didn't expect her to come, but I couldn't help but hope she would. I finished it by telling her I missed her, and requested that she give the other letter to the recipient.

The next letter was the harder one to write. I didn't know where to start, how to begin, what to say, but I knew it needed to be said. Peeta was right; I wouldn't be able to move forward without facing my past.

_Dear Gale,_

_How strange it is that I am writing you a letter. It isn't because of the reasons you may think, or even the reasons I would have thought before yesterday, but rather because writing you a letter means that we are not in the same place. Never in my life before all of our lives change did I ever imagine you not being in the same place as me._

_I know our last meeting was hurtful, for us both. I know I harbored a lot of anger towards you, as well as blame. I was always good at projecting blame onto others without really putting it towards where it should have gone. I want to tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for saying those things to you and I am sorry it has taken me so long to get in touch with you._

_I know you physically did not kill Prim. I know you didn't know it was going to happen. Only one person did, and I did project the vengeance on the right person then. It almost cost me everything to do so, but between you and I, I don't regret it. None of us could have known she was going to be there, or how she ended up there. I think a lot of my anger and blame was really what I held towards myself, and pushed onto you._

_I can't say that you didn't change, Gale. I saw sides of you that I didn't know existed. I can probably guess that you could say the same about me though, especially after the first games. I know we both changed, and to think we wouldn't would have been unrealistic. There were too many things, and too many losses, for us to stay the same._

_I know that there was a lot of confusion between you and I in 13, and maybe even before I was reaped again for the Second Games. I was confused myself about how I felt. I don't regret our time, but I do regret hurting you in that sense if I did. I understand now how you felt towards me, and to me, you were always my best friend. I didn't have really anyone outside of my family growing up except for you and your family. You were, and will always be, my best friend. I can understand though how you felt about me because I feel it with Peeta. I know you are aware he came back, and yes, we are growing together. He was the one who initially suggested I reach out to you, though I am not going to lie, it caused quite a fight between us. My stubbornness knows no bounds._

_I tell you this not to hurt you, though I think we are beyond that at this point. I say this because I want nothing but happiness for you, Gale. I want you to be happy and find someone who can calm your fire, like Peeta does for me. There was so much anger in you, and I am hoping that now you can finally find some peace. _

_You would be proud of 12, Gale. It is coming together, families are thriving. It is nothing like it was before, and is actually really a wonderful place to be. I hope one day you will come back, if not for good, then maybe for a visit. If you decided not to come back, which I would understand, I hope you will at least write me. I still miss my best friend and I want to be a part of your life, even if just writing. I know Prim would want that too. I think it is time that we stop running away from each other. I know we always used to say we would run away together, but in reality, we ended up a world apart. I hope this letter finds you well, and you can forgive me for my blame and anger. I hope we can be friends again and truly, I hope you are happy. Hopefully, we can talk soon and until then, I wish you the best._

_Katniss_

I put both letters in one envelope, knowing Haymitch wouldn't open it. I didn't want to tell anyone about my letter to Gale, at least not until I knew what would come of it. I had thought a lot about Peeta's words after I had left Haymitch's, and I knew he was right when he said I have to face my demons. Gale was one of the most important people to me, and I shut him out without even thinking about reality. It was time to make amends and to heal myself. Peeta could only do so much; I had to do the rest.

I went out and put the letter into Haymitch's mailbox. I would call him later to let him know it was there, not wanting to disturb him while he was sleeping. I took a walk over to the new Justice Building, now called City Hall, to talk to someone about a job; some way I can be productive in the town and help in its growth. It was time for me to start making big leaps instead of small steps. I hoped I wouldn't jump farther than I could land, but I knew I had people who would catch me if I did.

_Yay for new beginnings! I have no idea what she will do yet, but it will be fitting. My original plan was to have Peeta invite Gale to 12 to surprise Katniss, but per my usual writing style, it doesn't work out as I plan it. Plus, after he brought him up and her reaction to it, I am really glad that he didn't go behind her back to do that. I think it made more sense for me to have her reach out, to recognize her feelings and essentially know what is best for her. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will most likely see you later for Peeta's POV!_


	20. Chapter 9 - Peeta

_I don't own The Hunger Games. Oh, how things get turned around in my story. My intention wasn't for them to get into a fight, or for Katniss to reach out to Gale, but when I started writing Kat's POV, it just made sense for that to happen. My original plan was for Peeta to invite him down, but yeah, no. I realized it wouldn't sit well with her, and I think she also needed to recognize for herself that Peeta was right and start her own healing. Anyways, it's Peeta's turn to talk, so let's join him!_

Peeta:

I wake up to Katniss kissing me softly and laying down a tray of eggs, toast, and tea. I feel so at peace, here with her, that I wish that we can spend the entire day just here. Before I can even suggest it, she mentions that she is heading out to her house to do some things for the day.

Yesterday was such a rough day that I figure it would be good for us to do something with ourselves for today and besides, I have something special planned for tonight. The thought of last night comes back into my mind and a shiver, almost like a jolt, runs through my spine. It was so hard to stop her, to stop myself, but I knew that it could potentially be a mistake to make that leap now. As much as I wanted to take that leap with her, I had no doubt the perfect opportunity would present itself. I also thought of her finally telling me in her way that she loved me. I had waited for that moment for what seemed like my entire life. I laid on my side, savoring the feelings that washed over me before I decide to eat my breakfast and start my day.

I go into my painting room, taking stock of what I have in there. There was one in particular I needed to grab, for tonight, but some others as well. I decided that I would work on some finishing touches and give them the time to dry before I moved them. I really hoped I was making the right move tonight and wouldn't set off an episode, but in my heart, I thought it would be okay. I start baking some things I would need for dinner tonight when my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answered, expecting Haymitch or Sae.

"Hey, Peg-leg, how's it going? They finally gave me phone privileges here." Johanna said through the other line. It was kind of comforting to hear her, given the events of yesterday. I decided I was not going to tell her about that because I really didn't think that she would believe to be the voice of anyone's sanity.

"Jo! I was actually going to write to you today, but you beat me to it." I told her.

"I will always beat you at everything. This shouldn't surprise you. Anyways, I heard about what's going on in 12 and I'm kinda surprised that Brainless would be cool with it." I almost wince at hearing her call Katniss brainless, but then again, nicknames are like a term of endearment with her.

"Actually, I haven't broken the news to her yet. The building is about halfway done, so there is still some time left for me to let her know." I feel guilty holding this back from her, especially when I am so proud of what I've done. If it is one thing I have learned over the last couple of weeks though is that everything has to be done in the right time.

"I miss all the good things. Any chance you can hold out for another week or two? I plan on popping over to 12 to see my favorite couple. I haven't felt the need to throw up in a while and honestly, it's been pretty boring here." I had forgotten how much Johanna loved chaos. I didn't think I would be allowing her to watch when I told Katniss the news.

"I may have to tell her by ourselves, but I know she will be happy to see you. Just let me know when you're coming in so we can have a place ready for you." I am debating on whether I should put her in either Katniss's or my home for the time she is here.

"You mean I can't sleep with you?" she asks jokingly. "I am sure that would cause quite the stir."

I laugh with her. "No, I definitely don't see that going over well. It's going to be really good to have you here, Jo."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Hey, how is everyone there?" I ask.

"Oh, just fine, sadly. Like I said, it's pretty boring here. Mrs. Everdeen has a job here in the hospital, but not here in the ward with me. Gale has moved to 2, a little bit after you left, actually. I think he has something to do with the military. Annie is back to 4, I think going to have her baby at her house. Other than that, it's pretty much empty here. I don't really get the updates and have to learn a lot by talking to Volts. You know how that goes."

We talk for a little bit longer before we hang up. I was surprised to learn that Gale had moved to 2, and debated on telling Katniss. Tonight was not going to be Gale discussion night though.

I saw Katniss leave her house, and I figured now was a good time as any to get started on my plans. I went over first and unlocked her door so I could make the trips over. It took a few runs, but I had everything placed upstairs. I ran home to grab the bread and wondered where she had run off too. I didn't want to start dinner until I knew when she would get home, though I knew I could start it and keep it warm until she came back.

I set everything up in our room here, in just a way that I wanted her to see it. I had the stew boiling on the stove, the rolls I had made in the oven. It was getting slightly dark when she came in, taking her shoes off at the door.

She came over and gave me a kiss. "Everything smells great. How was your day?"

"Oh, it was good. Jo called me and she plans on coming over to visit in a week or two. Do we want to set her up in one of our houses and just stay in one for the time she is here?" I asked her.

Katniss smiled at me as I set her bowl down in front of her and tossing her a roll. "I'm really glad she is coming. It will be both good and irritating to see her. I'm also glad that you mention the house thing. I have been thinking about something, Peeta." She paused to take a bite of her roll, dipping it first in the stew. "What if we just always stayed at your house?"

I stopped my spoon in mid-air. "You mean as in permanently?" We may have been sleeping in the same bed every night for the last few weeks, but neither one of us had ever really talked about living together as in sharing a home.

"Yes, as in always. I mean, we spend every night together. Why not just have a shared residence?" She seemed so nonchalant about it; like it was not a big step, which was very unlike her. There was something different about her today; she seemed happier, almost peaceful. "Are you okay with the idea? Is it too soon to think about?" She then looked at me, searching my face to see if there were any doubts about it.

"Did something happen today? This just surprises me." I wait for her to answer, but she just keeps eating. "Katniss?"

"No, nothing is different. I may have a job, though the details are still being ironed out. I will tell you about it in more detail when it's definite, which I think is fair, because you are clearly involved with something you aren't telling me yet. Look, Peeta, I know this is a big step, so if you aren't sure, or aren't ready, that's okay. I can certainly wait. It was just something I was thinking about on the way home." I could see her brows furrowed, confused, and clearly not giving her the reaction she was anticipating.

"Katniss, I would be more than happy to live with you all the time. Honestly, I think it's the best idea you've ever had. Is there any reason why you want it to be my house?" I really wasn't concerned with whichever house we lived in, as long as I got to share it with her.

"This was the house I shared with my mom, and Prim. There are still rooms here I haven't gone into. I am ready to leave it behind me; move forward, as you said." She looked slightly sad as she said it, and I knew it went even deeper. "Your house has always been a good place for me."

"Hey, Katniss. I have another idea. What if we take one of the other houses? Let's really start our lives together in an entirely new house. I mean there are 12 here, and only 3 are taken. That leaves 9 other houses that have no memories for either of us. This way too, we will have two fully furnished houses for when guests come." I could feel my excitement building. We were talking about a future, our future together.

"I think it's even better than my idea. We can furnish it together; really make it ours. You know, sometimes you surprise me with your brilliance." She tells me.

"As do you. This was originally your idea, but together we made it ours. Hey, when we are done, I have something to show you upstairs." She raises an eyebrow at me, which I laugh at.

"No, no, I have some things that I have made for you, and I want to give them to you tonight." We quickly finish our meal, and I take her hand and bring her upstairs. I stop at the bedroom door and place her in front of me. "Look, if this is too hard for you, if at any point, I want you to let me know."

She looks at me concerned. "Peeta, you went from exciting me to scaring me. What is behind that door?" she asks, slightly guarded.

I stop talking and open the door. I walk in first and feel her behind me. She sees the first one, the painting I did of us together on the blanket from the day of our first kiss. She sees the one of the lake, the one of her face right before she kissed me. "Peeta, these are beautiful." She whispers.

I sit her down on the bed. "There's one more I have for you."

"I don't know why you would think that this would make me uncomfortable. They are wonderful." She says, still with an air of disbelief.

I head over to the connected bathroom, which is an odd place to put a painting, but I didn't want it to be the first one that she saw. It would stand out from the rest, being so bright.

I come out holding it, but facing me. I see her on the bed, her eyes meeting mine, and I turn it around. When I do, her hands fly to her mouth and her tears immediately start flowing.

It was a painting of bright yellows, sunshine and flowers. Standing in the field was Prim, in a long skirt, blue shirt, slightly untucked in the back. Standing a bit more in the distance was Lady, her goat, grazing in the meadow. After all we had talked about, and the stories she told me, I felt like I knew her. I had always seen her, so her face wasn't one I could forget, but I wanted to capture her for Katniss, so she could have her with her.

"Katniss? Are you okay? Is this bad?" I asked, worried when I saw her start to sob. Maybe I had underestimated the impact and made her fall back into a deep depression. She stood up and came over to the painting. She reached out one hand, and gently touched Prim's face, almost as if by doing so, she could touch her. She seemed lost in the painting, almost like a trance. I decided to let her stand there as long as she needed, until she was ready to talk.

"Peeta, this is the most perfect thing you could have ever given me." She says through tears. I feel the relief leave me. She takes the painting from me and just holds it as she sits back down on the bed. "It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. This is how I remember her, almost exactly. How did you know?"

"I felt it, Kat. I could see her through you; by the way you talked about her, the stories you told. I could see her through your eyes."

She stood up and put the painting down against the far wall. "We'll pick the perfect spot to hang it in our house." She says, as she pulls me into her. I don't wait for her this time. I place my hand under her chin, lift her face. I wipe the tears from her face and bring my lips to hers. This time I show her my feelings through kisses; how much I love her, need her. My hand moves to her waist, pulling her closer, and her hand reaches to the back of my neck, her fingers entwined in my hair.

We move to the bed, never losing each other, holding each other tight. Our hands entwined, our mouths one. Tonight we dare ourselves to go farther than ever before, but not too far. Her hands run down my chest, touching my leg. Her skirt naturally falls up, and I can feel her bare leg against mine. I position myself over her, she gently undoes the buttons on my shirt, removing it. She can see the scars, from my time in the Capitol, and she kisses them as if she could make them disappear. I feel exhilarated, giving myself permission to forget everything for a moment, and just living in this moment. She lays under me, fully clothed, hair spread out, and everything I could ever want or hope for. I stare at her, and I see a blush move to her cheeks.

I know, inside, that this is still not the time, but yet it still so hard to pull away from her. Everything has its moment, and in deep in me, I know it is something that we both want. It was almost the perfect time, but I still knew that she wasn't quite as ready as I was. It couldn't be on a night where she was full of emotions for hurting me, or memories of people lose. I wouldn't feel right about it, no matter how right it felt now.

"Peeta? Is everything okay?" she asked me.

"I couldn't imagine a single thing being wrong." I told her. "It's just one of those times though where we need to stop ourselves before we go too far."

"Did we go too far?" she asked me nervously. It's true that tonight we did go farther than before; I had never felt her skin, never held her beneath me.

"No, no we didn't." I answered honestly.

She gave me a shy smile as she pulled me closer to her, kissing me again, this time gently. "Good. Not that I think I would mind." She said almost teasingly.

"Neither would I, honestly. I think though that there will be a time even better than this, and I want us both to be absolutely certain before we cross that line." I kiss her again and feel her bite my lip lightly. I feel a groan come from me, before I can stop it. She really was making it difficult to stop.

"You know what I am certain of?" she asks me, with a serious tone. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for the answer. "I am absolutely certain that I love you, Peeta Mellark."

When she says this, all my resolution dies. I kiss her, over and over, telling her I love her over and over, and hearing her say it back to me. I'm not sure what transpired in her day, but I was thankful for it. She slowly took her shirt off under me, so I could feel her on my skin, and I thought I could stay this way forever.

We did stop eventually, even if it was very hard to. It felt like one of the hardest things I had ever done, to remove myself from her and just lay next to her. We cuddle together, just talking and planning our next moves. We'll take a look at the houses, and what the stores have, so we can start putting together our house. As the other houses aren't taken, we figure we will only need a few days to get it ready to move in.

"Katniss, what if I have another episode?" I ask her seriously. I was concerned on what could happen if we were living together and it happened.

"Then we deal with it together. I'm not afraid of you, Peeta. I don't think we need to worry about that, and I think we can face it. We would have to eventually. You told me that I had to face my demons to move forward, and you need to remember that too. We can't ever move forward if we just focus on fears that may or may not happen." She whispers to me. Within moments, she is sleeping against me, and I hold her close. It isn't long before I join her and wondering how much longer it would be before I would be able to ask her to be my wife.

_I seriously got giddy writing this chapter. I love them so much, it hurts. I am not going to lie, I am definitely over halfway to the end, and it almost makes me sad to have to give them up! I am bringing them closer together in a more mature manner, which I feel would be a natural progression for them, given all these feels and alone time. However, they are still mostly responsible, and the M rating will be going up I would say in about 3 or 4 chapters. I will have enough to write without getting them to this point anytime soon (we have some things to do, Peeta has more surprises, we'll have some visitors, so there isn't going to be much time for them to get all feelsy. Literally feelsy. As always, thank you to all who are reading this and taking the adventure with me. Your support means a ton, and I am glad you are sticking with me until the end. 3_


	21. Chapter 10 - Katniss

_I don't own The Hunger Games. Whew! I don't really have a whole lot to say at this point other than I hope you are all enjoying (or still enjoying) this story, and where I am taking it. I am really trying not to get them into an M rated relationship yet, but last chapter was close. I had a hard time stopping them! So, let's fast forward a week and a half or so. Also, just as a side note, if this chapter doesn't make sense, make sure you have checked out the chapter or two before it! Sometimes I think with the frequent updates, it may throw some things out of whack. _

Katniss:

I wake up slowly, noticing Peeta has already slipped out of bed. He is almost always up before me, working on something he can't tell me yet, but promises he will soon. I know Jo will be coming soon, and we have already moved into our new home. She can choose which house she would like to be in when she comes, Peeta's or mine.

Peeta has left me some cheese buns that he has made for breakfast, and I make myself a cup of tea. My life has changed so drastically, even over the last week and a half. Now that we officially live together, there is no escaping the fact that I am absolutely committed in this relationship and I couldn't be happier. We even had Haymitch and Sae over for a housewarming celebration, and it didn't end in Haymitch vomiting.

I have a meeting later with the Education council. I would like to start an afternoon class for interested children for survival classes. I know I would be able to teach about edible plants that can be found in District 12, how to navigate through the woods and how to find sources of water. Growing up Seam, going through 2 Games, and my hunting skills have given me enough qualifications. I spoke with Darlene's Mother about it and she seemed to also think it was a good idea. Just because the Games didn't exist anymore doesn't mean that survival skills shouldn't be taught. You never know when you will need them, a harsh lesson I learned years ago.

It hasn't been the easiest transition letting my guard down, but I have been working really hard. Peeta seems so much happier now, and when I think about it, so am I. I have felt moments where I wanted to put it up, but internally argued with myself to put it down. I know it isn't just me, either. Sometimes I notice Peeta gripping a chair, knuckles turning white, expression lost. I know in those moments, to leave him alone and let him work through it. Oh, what a complicated pair we are.

I run back upstairs to shower and get dressed for the day. I didn't really have much to do before my afternoon meeting, so I decided to continue unpacking and setting up the home. We have done as much as we could, but there always seems to be an overlooked box. This time it is Peeta's things, and as I start to go through them I hear a knock.

I look at the clock and it is just slightly after 9 in the morning, so I know it isn't Haymitch. I wonder if it is Sae, coming over for a visit, or to see if she could help. She has done that a few times in the past week. I jog over to the door and open it and stop dead, face dropping.

"Hey, Catnip." Said a very familiar voice.

"Gale." I say, almost in shock. I couldn't believe he was here, in 12. Peeta did mention to me that Gale had moved to 2 to work with the military, and I certainly didn't expect him at my doorstep.

"So are you going to invite me in?" he asks me, smiling the smile that I knew so well. My heart started beating hard, not because of feelings, but because our last meeting didn't go very well, and I just wasn't sure what to say.

"Oh, yes, of course. Sorry." I croak out while moving out of the way so he could enter. "How long are you here for?" I ask. "I can set up on of the other houses if you need." I tell him. I am nervous, though I can't quite figure out why.

"Oh, no, I am not staying overnight. I took a day leave to come here and see you. I just wanted to see you and talk. I got your letter; your Mother sent it over to me in 2." He looked out of place in the kitchen, and kept looking around at the kitchen and into the living room.

"Would you like a cup of tea? A cheese bun?" I ask, hoping to break the awkward feeling in the house. I wished Peeta was here; he was so good at these things.

"Tea would be great, thanks." He replied.

I put together the mug and made the tea, also making myself another cup.

"You were right, Catnip. 12 looks a lot better now than when I last saw it." He remarked. He looked just like I remembered, somehow like he was magically going to change into something else, or someone else.

"Yeah, there is a lot going on here. It's nice to see and be a part of it." I keep drinking my tea so my mouth is occupied.

"Listen, I was really happy you wrote me. I wanted to reach out a lot, but wasn't sure how receptive you would be to hearing from me. I know you were angry at me, and I was angry at me, so thank you for letting me know you were okay." He started to say. It was that moment that I realized I was sitting across from Gale, my best friend, and not a stranger. I looked into his eyes, and smiled, and told him to stand up.

When he did, I ran into him, hugging him close. He still smelled like Gale, and I can't imagine that would change no matter which district he was in. "Shut up, Gale. Let's just let it go. It's over, and we both had roles that we played, and did questionable things. Just tell me you forgive me for being a jerk, and I will forgive you for being a jerk."

He laughed and hugged me back, picking me up into the air. He started to tell me about life in District 2, what he was doing, his family relocating with him. He was heading up the training for those who wanted to join the Panem military, but not like the old peacekeepers, but true keepers of the peace.

"You sound really happy, Gale. I am so happy for you." I told him earnestly.

"Speaking of happy, let's talk about you and Mellark. So, living together now? Before a toasting? What would the town think?" he jokingly said.

"Well, since most of the country thinks we had a toasting anyways, I guess that doesn't matter." I tell him. "It seemed like a natural progression. We pretty much were always at each other's houses anyways."

"You know, there doesn't have to always be a practical reason. You could just want to live with him." He laughed at me. "Katniss Everdeen, always practical."

"I did just want to live with him," I admitted, "It's funny to think about, how the entire country thought they were watching this relationship progress, and to be honest, it all happened after the cameras were off."

"I knew for a long time that you both were going to end up together, even if you didn't want to admit it. I can't lie to you, I was jealous, for a bit. I tried, Katniss, I tried to make you need me, but it really wasn't meant to be with us."

"Oh, I think of it differently now. I have always needed you too, Gale. You were always someone I needed. You were my first, and longest friend. My feelings were all over the place for a long time, and I am really sorry if I ever hurt you." I forced myself to look at him when I apologized, he deserved that from me.

"Your feelings were normal feelings, Catnip. I can't even imagine what you must have went through trying to keep everyone safe when it seemed like the entire world was trying to kill you. I'm not jealous, not anymore. Seeing you, seeing how happy you are; you made the right choice I think for both of us. When I made my decision to move to 2, it was after I knew Peeta was coming back for you, which is exactly what you both needed. I won't say I didn't love you, but I think now it was more of a territorial thing. We were all each other had for so long, and it was hard to see someone else with you."

I understood exactly what he meant. Didn't I get jealous when people implied Madge may have had feelings for Gale, or when I made up an imaginary girlfriend for him? I was just as possessive of Gale; he just had to watch someone else come in while I never had to. I took his hand in mine and told him I understood exactly what he meant. We sat talking about everything; stories from our times together, stories about people in the Capitol. I made him tell me about Effie, and how she was now running a TV studio.

It must have been hours, we had lost track of time when we heard the door open. Peeta came in, bags full of things for dinner tonight, placing them on the counter. He turned around and that's when he noticed Gale, who had stood up when the door opened.

"Hey, Peeta. I stopped in to say hi to Catnip. I hope you don't mind." He said, looking down. I didn't even think to call Peeta to tell him that Gale was here, and I really hoped this wouldn't set him off into an episode. I stood up and went to Peeta, giving him a hug and a quick kiss, so he would know that Gale knew.

Peeta walked over to Gale and didn't extend his hand. Instead, he gave Gale a hug, thanking him for coming and inviting him to stay for dinner. "I promise, I'll cook it." He says to Gale, giving me a wink.

Gale says he can stay, that his hovercraft is set to leave for 8 PM. "You know how strict they are, Soldiers Everdeen and Mellark." He says, a laugh in his voice.

As we eat and talk, I watch the easy interaction between the three of us. It was nice, having all of us at the same table, in harmony. No more confusion, doubts, hearts on the line. We were all where we should be, and I truly felt I had my best friend back. Peeta was telling Gale how wonderful he found the woods, and that he had been really enjoying seeing parts of 12 that he didn't have access to before. They talked easily, like they had been friends for a long time, and it made me happy. Without all of the confusion about feelings, and rebellion, I think they were finding that they really could be friends. When it came time for Gale to go, Peeta and I walked him to the door. He gave me a long hug, holding me close.

"This isn't goodbye, Catnip. Let's just say that I'll see you later. I will expect a wedding invitation, Soldier Everdeen." I blush when he says this and give him a kiss on the cheek.

He also gives Peeta a hug, though not as long. "I'm glad to see you both happy. Take care of my best friend, Mellark."

"I always will, Gale." He answers him as Gale walks out the door.

After Gale left, we cleaned up, and then I remembered that I had forgotten my appointment. I started to worry and Peeta calmed me down, reminding me that life sometimes happens, and appointments can be rescheduled. We head upstairs to bed after we are done.

"So, what brought Gale around? I have to admit I was a bit surprised to see him at the door." Peeta asks me. I notice there is no jealousy in his voice, no concern.

"Oh, I am sure not as surprised as I was. I had written him a couple of weeks ago and I guess he decided to reply in person." I tell Peeta.

He turns to face me. "You wrote him?"

"I took some time and thought about what you said that day in the woods. You know, after I had my tantrum. I realized you were right, and that I wasn't going to be able to move on unless I forgave him, and myself. I told him that life was different, but good, and that I had found happiness with you. I wished him the best, and I thought, or hoped, I would at least get a letter back."

He looks at me for a long time before a smile comes over his face. "I'm really proud of you, Katniss. I am sure it was hard for you to do that, and you did it. You never cease to amaze me with your strength."

I kiss him on the nose, then on the lips before turning over for sleep. "I couldn't do it without you by my side."

"So, what did Gale say that made you blush when he was leaving?" Peeta asked me.

"He told me he expected a wedding invitation." I answered still not turning around. I wasn't going to have that conversation with Peeta yet, and I knew he knew that. Marriage was something that still scared me a little, and not because of the commitment, but mainly because marriage meant children. I felt him kiss my shoulder, lightly, before turning over himself.

"Goodnight, Soldier Everdeen. I love you."

"Goodnight, Soldier Mellark. I love you too."

"Day off tomorrow?" he asks me sleepily. I know what this means; that he wants us to spend the day together.

"Absolutely." I say back, then wait to listen for the sounds of his breathing telling me he is asleep. I laid awake a little longer, thinking of the day, and of the parting words. I guess it made sense that people would expect an engagement announcement soon, and I could understand that. Peeta has helped me face fears before, and I was certain that he would be able to help me with this one as well.

_Oh, Gale, I'm so glad you came in and peace was had. I think Katniss and Peeta both needed it, and it will help make the next chapters easier. I didn't want to throw in another love triangle; I think there were too many clues in the books that Gale was never really a contender for that spot, so it was nice to see him as just a best friend again. I will see you all soon!_


	22. Chapter 10 - Peeta

_Hello friends! I don't own The Hunger Games. I wish I had a hotkey set up for that sentence. Anyways, I am going to keep this short and sweet, because I don't have much to say and I just want to jump into the story! Finally, we get to learn what Peeta has been doing!_

Peeta:

I walk through the finished building, shocked at how quickly it was able to be all put together and also mostly shocked that those involved in the building of this were able to keep what it actually was a secret. I wanted to be the one to tell Katniss, and it looked like I would be able to. I walked from room to room, there were 13 in all, looking at the paintings. They weren't all just mine; the Capitol had reached out to other districts to see if there was anyone who wanted to submit art, not just paintings to represent their district, or those lost.

I wanted it to make this museum almost from the beginning. It would be a memorial, a history lesson, to all of Panem. A place for those who we had lost, or were lost, and in the later years, a place to come to reflect on what was so that hopefully this never happened again. I was in District 4's room, staring at the painting I had done of Finnick, next to the one of Finnick and Annie on their wedding day; between those stood his golden trident. Someone from 4 had sent a woven net, themselves works of art, which was used traditionally in their weddings. I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Haymitch.

"You did well, boy. Not that it doesn't make me want to drink, but you did well." He tells me.

"Well, everything makes you want to drink, so that is hardly a surprise." I smile at him. We take a walk to 12's room, where I had put up paintings of how it was, and pictures of my games. There were pictures of the Hob, the Seam, and the shop areas. I also included some of Katniss, like the time I saw her when she was 5, the painting I did when I was in my fever state and she was standing over me, taking care of me. Each room held a memory.

"What does Sweetheart think?" he asked me, while taking a short sip from his ever present bottle.

"Actually, I haven't told her yet." I sadly say. I knew I should have done so before now, but I just couldn't find the right time, or the right words.

"So, you do know that the cameras will be here tomorrow, right? How has she not asked you what you have been up to? You have to tell her, and soon. Like now soon." He raises his voice slightly. "If you don't that little breakdown she had about Gale is going to pale in comparison when she sees the bright lights of the Capitol."

"I know. There has just been so much going on; getting a new house, Gale coming, getting my house ready for Jo, who will be here in a few minutes. She hasn't been home either, you know. She is doing something on her own as well." I say defensively.

"Whoa, calm down there. I am just trying to still keep you alive. Let's go get Jo, and then we can go tell Sweetheart together. It may be better than way in case something happens."

We take the quick walk to the train station, and there she stands. All lanky, short hair, so deceiving in her looks, is Johanna Mason. "It's about time, Peg-leg." She nods in Haymitch's direction. "Hey, Abernathy."

"Sorry I was a little late, Jo. Just putting the finishing touches on the museum and Haymitch decided to give me a lecture." I told her.

"A lecture?" she asks, picking up her bag, which I take from her and we start walking back to my old house.

"Yeah, the boy decided that Sweetheart doesn't need to know that the Capitol is coming tomorrow in all of its glory." Haymitch tells her,

She claps her hands in excitement. "You did wait for me! You know, Peeta, if I didn't know any better, I would think you were sweet on me for waiting to tell her. Are you sure I can't sleep with you?"

Haymitch gives us both an odd look and I laugh when I answer you. "Well, maybe I could have told her if Soldier Hawthorne didn't pay us a surprise visit and we moved into a different house."

I fill Jo in on our decision to move in together, and about Gale's visit. She actually looks serious for one moment and says, "I'm glad he came here and I am really glad that they mended. He was so angry. I mean, I can relate, but I know how things from the past can really mess up your mind." Then she stopped walking, processing the second bit of information. "Wait, you guys moved in together? Like same house? Have you finally gained you manhood?" She pokes me as she keeps walking.

I roll my eyes at her. "No, Jo, we are not at that stage yet, and even if we were, I wouldn't tell you about it."

Haymitch laughed, "Always the gentleman, aren't you?"

We get to the house and put Jo's bags down. "We'll give you the tour later. Let's go see Katniss." I tell them, my heart racing as we start heading towards our new house. I didn't know why I was so nervous, but when I thought about it, I did. This was everything I had been working on, it was important to me, and I was scared of how Katniss would react. I wasn't afraid of the paintings, or the memorial, but mostly afraid of how she would react to the Capitol being there.

Jo goes first, opening the door and yelling, "Hey, Brainless! Where are you?" and I hear Katniss running upstairs, then see her flying down the stairs.

"Johanna! How was your trip?" Katniss says, giving her a quick hug.

"Well, it was fine, but aren't you the picture of love and bliss!" she says happily. "Who knew Peg-leg here would know how to put some color in your cheeks?" When she said this Katniss blushed.

"Hey Sweetheart." Haymitch said to her, and then I noticed her was taking all of the knives out of the drawer. I look at him, throwing him what I hoped was a dirty look.

"I don't think that's necessary." I tell him.

"Safety first." He retorts back.

"What's ing on?" Katniss says nervously while Jo seats herself down and puts her legs up on the table.

"I really should kick you both out for making this a bigger deal than it is." I tell them. "Kat, you know that thing I have been working on? The one that is a surprise? Well, it's done and I would like to show it to you." I tell her softly.

She looks excited. "What is it?" she asks, clearly excited that I am finally going to tell her where I have been spending my days.

"Well, it's a memorial of sorts. A museum for all of the districts. I have a room for every district, and people have sent over art, and it will be open tomorrow. Want to go see?" I asked her, watching her face for any sign of anger or confusion. She looks fine and I think to myself that maybe this won't go as badly as I thought it would.

"Of course I want to see it! I think it is a great idea, and I think it is even better that you were able to do this. Can we go now?" she asks as she is pulling my hand and heading towards the door.

As we all exit, Jo and Katniss take the lead, walking towards the site. Haymitch stays back with me, walking at a slower pace. "You know you forgot a pretty vital piece of information." He tells me.

"Yeah, I know. I will tell her after I show it to her. I don't want anything to mar this for either of us." I answer.

"It's a mistake not telling her now; trust me on this, boy." Haymitch says, and I know he is right. I should have told her at the house, but I just couldn't. We get to the site and head in. There is silence as we go from room to room, Katniss clearly in awe. Katniss and Jo spend a lot of time in 4, with Finnick's paintings, neither talking. I can see the tears in Katniss's eyes. Jo spends a lot of time in 7 as well, while Kat goes to 12.

I follow her in, leaving Haymitch and Jo to themselves. "Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask her softly.

She turns to me and takes my hands. "Peeta, this is perfect. It's all perfect, and I don't really have any words right now."

"Well, you may in a moment. Listen, in order to get this done, I had to make a deal. A condition of sorts. Tomorrow, this will be open to the public, but because I had the Capitol's help in making it happen, they are also going to be here." I feel her body go stiff as she stares at me. "With cameras."

Her eyes sort of gloss over, and I can see her pulling into herself. "Kat, please. It will be okay. I'll be here, and Haymitch will too. I even think Effie will be coming." That apparently did not make her feel better because she let out this guttural yell and pulled away.

"No! I can't do it! I can't see the cameras!" she yells as she starts to run. I see Jo and Haymitch coming from another room as I start to go after her. Jo stops me in mid run, grabbing my torso and pulling me back.

"Let me go. Haymitch, your flask." She says, arms extended.

"Wait, what? I'm not giving you my flask." He answers.

"Haymitch. Flask." She says in return. I see him reach into his pocket and then just hand it over.

"Just go easy on her; we know how comforting you can be." Haymitch warns her. She flashes us both a look as she sets off. "Check her old house first!" he yells after her.

I just look at Haymitch sadly. "I should have told her before."

"Yeah, probably, but let's be realistic. This wasn't going to go any better no matter when you told her." He tries to comfort me. "I'm not going to say I told you so, but we live and learn. Let's just hope she can pull herself together for the actual opening."

"Do you think there's a chance?" I ask him.

"Before, the way she was before, not a chance in hell." He tells me earnestly. "She's a bit different now, though. You both are. The cameras are no doubt going to be a trigger for her, but if she can feel safe, then we may have a chance."

"How can we make her feel safe?" I wonder out loud, mostly to myself.

"There's no we here, kid. It's you. This is something you both are going to have to work out together if you want to live your lives together. You may both be all love and rainbows right now, but never forget that you both were broken. You can glue a broken glass together again, and still even drink out of it, but it doesn't make it perfect. Sweetheart, well, she started out as a broken glass to begin with. Let Jo talk to her, and we'll see how she does, but you are going to have to be the glue if you expect her to get better."

"How did you get so wise with all the drinking you do?" I asked him, still staring off into the direction of the Village.

"I grew up Seam, kid. You don't grow up Seam without learning about life pretty early. I also went through my own shit. You paint, I drink. It doesn't change anything." He reaches in and pulls out another flask. I stop and turn to him.

"Really, two?" I ask.

"I thought I may need an extra today. I'm always prepared, kid." He says as he takes a long drink and hands it to me. "Just a small one. I don't need to make sure you're okay too."

We sit there together, wondering what is going on, and I realize that Haymitch being with me has quieted the voices in my head that had started to come up. I knew today was going to be difficult, but I was learning how to quiet the voice in my mind. I just hoped Jo would be able to quiet Katniss's like she unintentionally does for me.

_So, this was mainly a filler chapter to get us to where we need to be for the next one. I think the next two (or one as I like to call it, since one chapter is really Katniss and then Peeta's POV) chapters will be really good, and another pivotal moment for them. Please let me know what you think, and we are definitely on the homestretch here. It's going to be really hard to let them go, and I wish I could write just a million happy little fluff chapters, but in the end, I know that would make for really boring reading. _


	23. Chapter 11 Katniss

_I do not own The Hunger Games. So, in my mind, as much as I love the idea of Peeta taking up the bakery again, I just couldn't do it. I felt he needed something different, and I never thought baking was his absolute passion; it was more the family thing. Since painting is therapeutic for him, I thought maybe a tribute to the Tributes would be a nice, new, beginning for him. I hope you all enjoy!_

Katniss:

I run out of the museum as fast as I can without looking back. I can't process what Peeta has told me; that the Capitol is coming, with cameras. The same people who took used me just as much as the old government did; made me a mouthpiece and a figurehead for a revolution. I had given both governments, and as far as I was concerned the country, far too much for there to be any more demands. I could feel the anxiety building the closer I got to my house.

Only it wasn't my house anymore. The one thing I needed was still there though. I opened the door and ran upstairs. Next to a bed, in a drawer in my nightstand were a locket and a pearl. I took the pearl out and could feel the smoothness under my fingers. I couldn't face anyone right now, and I had no intention of talking, exiting this room, or doing anything until they all left.

I lose time when I am like this. I am aware of that much. Hours, days, weeks, months; they all feel the same as I lay on my bed with my pearl. I thought I heard a door open but I didn't care. I kept with the same movements, rolling the pearl over my first two fingers and my thumb. I hear a voice, but I can't make it out downstairs, but the only thing I see is the pearl.

"So, I see you still have your rope." I hear a female voice say. She pulls over a chair next to my bed and kicks her feet up on it. "It's good to see some things don't change no matter how much time passes."

I hear her, but I don't respond.

"I know you can hear me, so I may as well keep talking if you aren't going to answer. I heard you were doing better, and I saw that you were. I didn't think some cameras were going to put you in a corner. Imagine if they could all see you now - the Mockingjay, put into a self-induced coma over a few cameras. Look, I get it. I do, honestly," she said, her voice getting a little softer, "I remember what it was like when I went through and won, went on the tours, had to go back every year. I saw people die and they took everyone I had ever loved." She paused then and took out a flask. I could see her clearer now, and I could see it was Haymitch's flask. She took a sip and held it out to me, but I still did not move.

"I am going to be real with you, because you and I may not have started out as best friends, and we may never be, but I do like you Kitty-Kat. We went through some things in 13, and we helped get each other through some really hard times. The hard part is over, sister. Just remember one thing though – the country, this country and its people, will always have an interest in you. Not just you, but you and Peeta. There are going to be cameras sometimes, and you are going to have to deal with them. You can't just come here and shut everyone and everything out because you don't want to deal with it. You really can't do that if you expect to live the rest of your life with Peg-Leg."

I stop twirling the pearl and just look at her. She hands out the flask again, but I still don't take it.

"I need you to hear me, and really hear me on this part. This is where it is going to get tougher for you to comprehend. This isn't about you, Brainless. This is about Peeta. He is the one who worked so hard, who wanted to surprise you. He didn't want the cameras either, but it was conditional if he wanted to make it happen at all. I can promise you that this one time, you are not the star, so let him have his moment. I think if you love him at all, and I think you do, you will snap the hell out of whatever it is. You will show up and smile, you will be proud of him, and you will do what's expected of you. It's simple really, when you think about it like that. One more thing, Kitty-Kat; if you don't want to stand next to him, I will."

I hear her intention in her voice; if I am not willing to support him, then she is going to try and take my spot. I don't know if she is serious, or just trying to snap me out of it, in either case, it works. I put the pearl back in the drawer and look at her, head on. She hands me the flask and this time I take it and take a long drink.

"Welcome back." She says, smiling at me. We sit together for a bit, passing the flask back and forth. "So, this was your room?"

"Mhm," I answer taking another sip, "After the games and then when I came back. Actually it was my room up until two weeks ago."

"That's when you guys made the big move, huh? Moving in together?" She started going through my top drawer, the clothes I had left behind since this was still a base for me, a place to come to if I needed to work, or just some time to myself. Peeta still uses his house as a painting area. "I'm really not impressed with your under garments. I don't know how you keep him if this is what you are wearing." She says as she starts tossing out underwear and bras from my drawer.

"Would you knock it off! We aren't like that!" I tell her, my face turning red. I could feel the burning and I wasn't sure if it was the liquor or the embarrassment.

She turns around and sits next to me on the bed. "Wait. You mean to tell me you guys have been sleeping together for months. You guys are living together and sleeping in the same bed. Have you even seen him naked? I thought he was just being a gentleman and not kissing and telling." I don't have to actually answer her for her to figure it out. "I can't even believe this. The whole country thought you were pregnant and you haven't even seen each other naked. Your prep teams have seen you guys more intimately then you both have!" She seems absolutely shocked.

"It just hasn't happened yet. It has gotten close, a little, but we are waiting." I tell her.

"Waiting for…" she stares at me blankly. "Give me the flask back. You don't get to drink anymore."

"I don't know. We're waiting for the right moment." I tell her defending us. I feel slightly defensive, not everyone needed to be that intimate to be intimate.

"I just figured that after everything you've been through together it just would have happened by now. Sorry, Kitten, I just figured you know, you had done the deed."

"Have you?" I asked her. I blushed after I said it. I have never had a conversation with anyone about things like this. I didn't really have girlfriends growing up and Gale and I certainly never talked about it. My mother wasn't someone I ever went to with questions. I never realized how much I didn't know until I started feeling things while kissing Peeta.

"Yeah, I have. Honestly, and don't repeat this, because I will deny it to my grave, I think you both are cute. I wish I could have had what you have now. With me, I started just to not feel. After I won, I just sort of shut down and couldn't really feel anymore. I thought that could be an answer that it might fill me with whatever I was missing, but I was wrong." She turned to me and patted my head. "So, what do you need to know? Are you nervous?"

We started talking then, not as two broken people, but as friends. Eventually, we both ended up laying in the bed just laughing at everything, and for the first time I realized that Johanna Mason and I were really friends. She laughed harder when I told her that.

"You're right, Kitty-Kat, we are. You are my kitten. I remember when I first saw you and I thought you were the most ridiculous creature. Really I was jealous of Cinna, and how much attention you got. I'm glad I was wrong about you."

"Well, I had you spot on." I told her. "I thought you were the most obnoxious creature, but I actually like you for it." We ended up just giggling again. It was so hard to believe we had both ever killed people, even if it was to save ourselves. I was hoping my next question wouldn't ruin the moment.

"So, have you gotten over your water issues?" I asked her gently.

She shot me a look. "I should tell you no, but mostly. My time in the Capitol was okay in that sense. It started small, just with a glass of water; then it was spilled onto the ground and I had to stand in it. I worked my way up from there. I mean I still have my moments, but I can almost be normal."

"I don't know if you can ever really be normal." I tell her. "I have another question if that's okay?"

"I think I preferred you not talking and playing with your rope." She answered.

"Okay, two questions and I will start off with the easiest first. Why do you keep calling it a rope? Did you not have pearls in 7?"

"You really are brainless. When we were roommates in 13, I always saw you playing with something in your pocket. I thought it was a nervous twitch or something, and it made me a little nervous. People with nervous ticks usually mean they are going to snap at some point. I saw Fin one day, and told him how crazy I thought you were because you had this tick. He was pretty confused, and not really understanding what I meant so I explained. So, he told me it was a pearl. It was the equivalent to his ropes, how he would tie them over and over. He said he taught you too as well, and you did it, but subconsciously, you must always go back to the pearl because it grounded you. He told me Peeta gave it to you on the beach when we were in the games. Finnick was convinced in the games that you did love him, but for me, that's when I realized it wasn't for show since there were no more cameras to play for now." She took another drink from the flask. "Question 2?"

"What was it like, really like, being a mentor?"

"Wonderful and horrible. It was really horrible having to go back year after year, but you really do develop a bond with the other victors. That's how Fin and I became friends, and even Abernathy and myself. You wouldn't have known we were really friends when we saw each other for the Quarter Quell, but I was a little put off at that time. When you go home after a victory, you just see the world different. The only people that can really understand are the ones that have also gone through it. Before you and Peeta, two people never made it out alive, so you had, if you were lucky, other people in the Village with you, but mostly you had yourself. It was hard being responsible for kids that you knew probably didn't have a chance of making it out alive though. It's hard to not get attached and then to see them gone…" she didn't have to say anymore.

"Hey, Jo," I began, "What are you going to do when this is all over? Are you going back to the Capitol?"

"Oh hell, no. They released me, and I would prefer not to go back. I guess I'll just go back to 7." She tells me.

"You don't have to, you know. You can stay here, in 12." I surprise myself when I say this; I didn't even know that was going to come out of my mouth, but when I did, I realized that it was a perfect idea.

"Do you have room in your bed for me? Are you that scared?" she winked at me while she said this, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"No. Just no. You can take one of the other houses. Peeta and I can help you get it set up. Stay here, with us. Unless there is someone back in 7?"

"No," she said sadly, "I meant it when I said they killed everyone I loved."

"Then stay. You at least like us and don't repeat this, but I like having you around. You're much better to drink with than Haymitch." I say winking at her. We start laughing again when we hear the door open.

"Looks like our party is over, Kitty-Kat. Go make nice with Peeta. He deserves it." She stands up from the bed. "I'll get Haymitch out if he is here."

"Peeta deserves someone better." I tell her. "Haymitch has told me multiple times that I could live 100 lifetimes and never deserve him."

Johanna turns around and comes over to me, taking my face in her hands. "That's bullshit and you know it. You both deserve each other, not one more than the other. If it was just one sided, you both wouldn't be here right now. Get up, and show Haymitch he's full of it. Tomorrow, show the Capitol how much fire you have left."

We link arms and head downstairs. Peeta and Haymitch are standing in the kitchen, looking almost scared at the two of us. I go over to Peeta and wrap my arms around him. "I'm sorry, Peeta. You are amazing, the museum is amazing, and tomorrow is going to be fine."

He kisses me on the top of my head. "You sure? Are you going to be okay with it? You could just stay home and I can say you are sick." He is giving me an out again, saving me, even at his own expense.

"No, I am going to be right with you. I'm so proud of you, Peeta, and while I may not ever be thrilled to see Capitol people and cameras, I will always stand with you."

He kisses me, softly, and then we here Jo behind us. "I would tell you to get a room, but clearly you don't really need one." We both blush and I throw the closest thing at her, which happens to be a hand towel. It doesn't go far which really doesn't prove me point.

"Oh, hey, by the way, I think Jo is going to be staying in town for good, even after all of this." I tell Peeta and Haymitch. They both have surprised expressions and I hear Haymitch muttering under his breath.

"I want the closest house to Abernathy." She states, throwing him his empty flask back. She goes to Peeta and grabs his arm. "I'm going to steal him for a bit, but don't worry, Kitten, I have no plans of deflowering him…yet." We both grin at each other and I threaten her with another hand towel. They step out and they both head over to Peeta's. Since she decided to stay there, I figure she is having him tell her where everything is.

Haymitch looks at me while I go around turning everything off for the night. "You sure you're okay, Sweetheart?" he asks me concerned.

"No, but I will be. There are things I have to deal with and face if I plan on living any kind of life. Cameras may be one of them. Peeta deserves this, but I realized I deserve this too." I turn to look at Haymitch and he is just smiling at me.

"Did you have to ask her to stay? I know you must have asked, because she wouldn't have just decided that on her own." He says with a sigh.

"C'mon Haymitch. It's time to go." I tell him, not answering him. "You are going to be nice to her."

"I'm not nice to anyone." He responds, a laugh in his voice.

"I almost believe you, but I know you a bit better than that." We walk out and see Jo and Peeta standing by his house. Jo looks very serious, and Peeta has an odd expression on his face. When they see us, they come over, back to looking normal.

We all say goodnight and parts ways. Peeta and I head home, hand in hand.

"So, you sure you're okay? And Jo is really staying?" he asks, still clearly bewildered.

"Yes to both," I say laughing. "I think it will be good for us to have her around. What were you guys talking about? You had an odd look on your face."

"We were going over the houses, and which one was the closest to Haymitch's as well as getting everything set up. She has a very particular way of doing things. Well I don't mind her staying, she does keep things entertaining." Peeta answers, always with a silver lining. I think there is more to it, but I don't ask any more questions. I trust Peeta, and if he needs to keep something from me, he will let me know when it is time.

We enter the house and decided to go straight to bed knowing how tiring tomorrow will be. It isn't as daunting as I thought it would be, the thought of tomorrow, because I know I have the support of the ones who I love standing with me.

_I love how things turn out. Originally I had no intentions of having Jo stay in 12, but then as I was writing this I thought it would be nice to have Katniss have a friend around, not to mention that Johanna says that she really doesn't have anyone she loves in 7. It worked for me. I am going to start posting a bit slower I think, to really give my time with the next few chapters because I don't think there is much left and I want them to be perfect. Thank you all for reading and your support! I really am happy that people are still with me, and I appreciate the reviews/favorites/follows. Til next time!_


	24. Chapter 11 Peeta

_I don't own The Hunger Games. Not too far to go, lovies, until we reach the end. This really has been an amazing experience, writing this, feeling this, and being able to piece it together in my mind. Warning! They will consummate in this chapter, so if you want to skip after the first few paragraphs, please feel free! _

Peeta:

I really wasn't expecting what Haymitch and I found in Katniss's old house when we entered. I didn't think we would find Kat and Jo, arms linked coming down the stairs. You would never have known that anything had gone wrong that day; that Katniss had never experienced an episode. I also didn't expect the announcement that Jo was going to be a full time member of District 12. I had no idea what happened in that room, but I wasn't going to question it.

Jo took me outside, to my old house, to talk to me privately. "Listen, kid. I don't get serious on you too often but I just want you to know that girl really loves you. Don't ever doubt it. I know Haymitch has told her that she doesn't deserve you," she shushed me when I started to say something. "Not yet. I don't think we have much time. I told her she does deserve you, and you her, and all that sappy shit that I only reserve when I am trying to talk people off of the ledge. I'm not going to lie though, my heart almost broke when I saw her empty expression and her just playing with her rope."

"Her rope?" I asked, not sure what she meant. Talking off a ledge and a rope? Was Katniss trying to hurt herself?

"Why does no one in this town know anything? Yes, her rope. You know how Fin used to always tie a rope when he was nervous? Actually, maybe you wouldn't have known that. I think you were crazy at the time too. Now that I think about it, why do I associate with so many crazy people? Anyways, you know that pearl you gave her on the beach in the game? Yeah, well she uses that to ground herself. I didn't figure it out for a long time, but then Fin filled me in."

"Ground herself?" I asked her. I was still trying to process everything Jo had told me.

"I really hope you can talk in more than two word sentences tomorrow, or else this is really going to be a circus. Then we'd have to depend on Kitty-Kat over there to step in, and she's a real natural. Don't worry if all else fails, maybe we can get drunk Haymitch to take some of the heat off of you. I don't know why it took me so long to get here. I should have been here weeks ago if only I knew how much fun this would be. Yeah, like ground herself. It kept a piece of her here, like something that tied her to reality, made her feel better. Do you get it yet?"

"Jo, you are a genius. Do you know where it is?" I ask her, grabbing her shoulders.

"Hey! Hands off! They are coming out of the house, and I would hate for her to think we ran out for some risqué behavior. Actually, no I wouldn't. Want to kiss me?" She stuck her tongue out at me, and I smiled.

"I need you to do me a favor. I need you to grab that pearl once we leave. Tomorrow, I am going to give you a picture. I want you to bring the pearl and the picture to the Jewelers shop. Give it to him, and ask him if he can make it as soon as possible. Can you do this for me?"

She smiled at me, realization coming over her face as she realized my plan. "Of course I can. Though I guess this means that all my chances with you will now be officially over." She said jokingly.

"Jo, I think you would eat me alive." I told her. Not that there was ever anyone for me but Katniss, who had by now come down with Haymitch.

She laughed when I said this. "Yeah, you are too pure for me. I can barely stand to be around you now."

Soon, it was just Katniss and I heading back to the house. She was eager to get to bed and I heard her breath change as she fell asleep. I always knew when she would drift off, as I usually stayed awake until I was sure she was safely sleeping.

I slipped out of bed and went into my painting room. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, and started my project for Johanna to deliver. It was simple, and perfect. When I saw the finished product I smiled to myself. I had no idea she still had that pearl, never mind using it as a source of sanity. Sometimes things just fit together perfectly you have to wonder if it was planned all along. I fold the paper, placing it in the suit jacket I had laid out for tomorrow.

I climb into bed, trying not to disturb Katniss when I hear her calling out. She is crying in her sleep, talking about the cameras, and the Capitol taking me. She is surprisingly coherent in her sleep. I don't want to wake her, but I know if I don't she will continue having her nightmare.

I brush her hair out of her face, and she instinctively moves towards my touch. Her eyes flutter open, softly, looking at me to make sure that I am actually there.

"Peeta, you left me. You left, they took you." She says, her eyes filling with tears.

"Katniss, I am not leaving. I would never leave you, and you know this. You are with me, and you are safe. We are safe." I tell her as I run my hand down her arm.

She brings her lips to mine, kissing me softly, as if to reassure herself that I was indeed here in bed with her. I can feel her awaken, not just her mind, but her body as well. She wraps her legs around me, my hands find the small of her back and I bring her closer. We stay like this for some time, kissing, while I rub her back and her hands find places in my hair.

She pulls away slightly, enough to give me the space I need to slip her shirt over her head. We continue kissing and soon my hands find places they have never been. She doesn't stop me, and I don't understand why I am not stopping myself. The realization hits me that I have been in love with this girl, this perfect for me girl, since I was 5. We had been through multiple situations where one of us should have died. Somehow, we survived. I was taken, my brain programmed to kill her, but in the end, my heart won. She was here, with me, in love with me, and I would spend the rest of my life showing her how much I love her. I realized I did not want to stop. We almost lost this opportunity so many times, and I didn't understand why we didn't take whatever joy we could.

My mouth left hers, traveling to her cheek, her ear, breathing slowly into it as I kissed her. I could hear her groan as she pushed closer to me, body moving against mine. I trailed down her neck, kissing, softly biting, though not enough to leave any marks. She stopped for a moment and brought my face back to hers.

"Peeta, usually this is where you say we need to stop." She tells me, all while kissing me.

"Usually isn't tonight." I answer her honestly. I couldn't think of a better time; this was the perfect moment. I wanted to be with her, in her, melt and become her. She was like the most beautiful, bound gift and tonight was the night, if she was willing, that I wanted us to be consumed by each other. "Unless you want to stop. If you want to stop, we can. We do have a big day tomorrow."

She answered me not with words, but with actions. I had turned the light lower when we went to sleep, so it created an almost orange glow in the room. She stands up, at the edge of the bed and fully takes off her clothing. My heart is in my chest, and my breathing has almost stopped. I can't remember seeing anything so beautiful, or her glowing so brightly. She is a goddess to me, and always will be.

I stand as well, to remove the only clothing I have left and she comes over to the side. Without saying a word she starts to kiss me, while her hands move down to undo the button on my pants. The zipper comes next and my pants are on the floor, and I kick them away. She takes off the final piece and together, we are on the bed, hands, mouths, together and apart, but always on each other.

I can feel her heartbeat against me, and I think it is beating just as hard as my own. In this moment, I know exactly all the reasons why I would have gladly died for her, and would still gladly die if it meant preserving her. She is perfection, and especially so while in this vulnerable state. Everything I had ever wanted, dreamed about, was coming true in this very moment.

"Katniss, tell me you are sure. I need to be sure we aren't making a mistake." I saw to her, barely breathing. The feel of her skin is intoxicating against mine and I don't even know how to think. The only thing I can think about is this moment. This moment with her which I never thought I would have.

"Peeta, I have never been surer about anything, other than the fact that I love you more than anything. We have gone through so much together, you and I, except for this. This could never be a mistake because it is something we are doing out of love." She says slowly, as if thinking every word out clearly.

That is all I need to hear. I kiss her again, while moving her underneath me. I look at her, watch her eyes, because once I go forward, there is no going back. I wait for her to tell me no, or that she is ready.

She does so by moving her head close to my ear and whispering, "I love you, Peeta Mellark. I will spend every last day of my life loving you."

In one moment we were two people who then became one. My lips were on hers, breathing her in, when I took in her gasp. I stopped for a moment, to ensure she was okay, and didn't want to stop, but again she lead me with her own body, moving against mine, slowly. I couldn't imagine being any closer to her in any way, emotional or physical, and I became completely lost in her. Any feelings that I could have had for her paled in comparison to the love I felt now. I finally understood that it was not just my love that I was feeling, but both of our love combined. Two become one; I never understood until now.

Our bodies glistening with sweat, exhausted, but still together, we collapsed into each other. Neither of us could say anything for a few moments, taking in all what happened. There was nothing I could have imagined that could have prepared me for this; these feelings that washed over me, smoothing like the ocean does to the sand on the beach.

I leave her, feeling like a piece of me dies by having to disconnect from her, and I look at her. Her cheeks glowing, eyes half-lidded, looking content.

"Are you okay? We are okay, right? You still don't think we made a mistake?" I ask her gently almost afraid of her answer.

"Oh, Peeta, no. I could never think this was a mistake. I could never imagine anything being more beautiful than what just happened." She tells me. We stay like this, no clothes, freed finally by our pasts, allowing ourselves the opportunity to finally give ourselves to each other as we are; broken, but now whole.

I kiss her softly. I want to thank her, for everything, but I don't. I know, I just can tell, she feels the same. It was almost as if the act of what we did actually did allow me to become a part of her, to feel how she feels. I have never felt so loved or accepted in my life. We cuddle up against each other, and for the second time this night drift off to sleep, completely different people then what we were just hours ago.

"I love you, Katniss Everdeen." I whisper to her, holding her close to me.

"I love you, Peeta Mellark." I hear her say back.

"Always?" I ask her?

"Always." She replies and without even asking I know that his is real.

_I truly hope that I handled that properly and classy. I didn't want their first time to be anything but beautiful, and I hope that this serves them justice. Please let me know how you think and feel! This was a hard chapter to write, but something I really wanted to do for them, and also to show that it can be something done for love, for deep love. I love you all and thank you so much for the support! Now, I really will be making sure that I have the final chapters perfect before I post, so it really may be slower now. I want to make sure I end it perfectly!_


	25. Chapter 12 - Katniss

_I don't own The Hunger Games. My goodness, what a weekend. Saturday, a lot of people were over and water spilled on my laptop. It didn't work for the weekend but then some sort of magic (or to be scientific – evaporation) happened and it did. Needless to say I am very lucky, but seriously had a freak out time over the potential losing of the laptop. I truly hope your weekend was less traumatic. Now, let's get back to this before anything else happens to the laptop and I end up having to write this with pen and paper!_

Katniss:

It was the most blissful sleep I had since I could remember. I awoke slowly, just letting things come together on their own. Peeta was walking around the room, grabbing what he would need to take a shower.

"Morning." I said to him, still in a daze.

He came over and gave me a light kiss on the head. "Good morning, Kat. Sleep okay?" he asked me, but I could tell he already knew the answer.

"I did. If I knew I could sleep that soundly, I think I would have pushed for this sooner." I tell him, smiling.

He laughed and held my hand as I got out of bed. "There is tea and breakfast downstairs. I am going to go take a shower before everyone arrives."

That's right, today was the day everyone arrived to plan for the opening. With everything that had happened last night, it had slipped my mind. I watched him walk down the hall and enter the bathroom and I pulled out what I would wear for today. Simple outfit, nothing fancy, but not understated either. It was one of Cinna's designs, in fact, it was the same one the Capitol came here for the start of the tour, just without the cowl. I wasn't sure who exactly was showing up, but I knew I would be comfortable with Peeta next to me and Cinna's clothing.

I heard the water running and walked down the hall. I bypassed the door, but then backtracked, opening it slowly. I knew with the water running, he wouldn't be able to hear me, so I took off my robe and nightgown. I opened the door to the shower, and he jumped.

"I need to take a shower too, so I figured we could just save time by doing it together." I told him shyly. I almost decided not to do this, it was a bold move, even for me, but after last night I felt different.

He stepped back to make room for me, and as I got in, my eyes never left his. The way he looked, water falling off his hair, his shoulder, running down his body, it was enough to almost make me forget how to breathe.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" I ask him slowly. I can't seem to talk fast when I see him this way, when I know I am falling deeper in love with him.

He takes me in his arms and holds me to him. Our bodies are touching and I can feel his heartbeat against mine. It was so strong, but I couldn't tell which was his and which was mine. The water was falling over us, and he ran his fingers through my hair, making sure to get it wet. He turned me around and began to wash my hair.

"You know, if someone would have told me 5 years ago that I would be washing Katniss Everdeen's hair in a shower, I would have thought them crazy." He said. "I would have been ecstatic, but still thought them crazy."

I laughed, but then my mind began thinking of every moment leading up to this. My father dying, about how if he hadn't died, I wouldn't have learned to be so self-sufficient. Growing up Seam is hard, but doing so while being the sole provider for your family was even harder. Prim's name being called at the reaping, and my volunteering; what if it wasn't her, and not me, and someone else was next to Peeta? It was almost as if every moment that happened led to this one, to this fate. When I grew up, love was a luxury, it wasn't something that you actually hoped for; at least not for me.

He turned me around again so my hair could be rinsed. I felt his fingers over me, getting the shampoo out, and I thought again about Peeta, falling in love with him. It wasn't at the first moment I saw him, though it should have been. When he threw me the bread, saving not just mine, but my family's lives, even though I knew he had gotten in trouble for it; when he reminded me of the dandelion. He was a miracle and that should have showed me then. I was too preoccupied with everything, but I knew now. I was here now, with him, and I didn't want to waste any moments.

My lips found his, even with my eyes still closed. I continued to kiss him; feel his skin under the water, until the water started to get colder. We quickly got out and headed back into the room to change. It was hard, not to pull him onto the bed, but I knew today was time sensitive and we had to be ready. I braided my hair quickly and started to head downstairs to have my tea.

Johanna was sitting at the table, eating my breakfast when I walked into the kitchen. I jumped and screamed, which made Peeta come running. Johanna just sat there, still eating, one eyebrow raised at the two of us, still damp from the shower.

"Jo! How did you get in here? The door was locked!" I yelled at her, mad that I was so frightened.

"Do you honestly think a door lock could keep me out? I wanted some breakfast, so I came here. Enough about me. Did you two take a shower together? Did you have swimming suits on?" She stood up and walked over to me, looking in my eyes. "You took my advice, didn't you, Kitten! You look like a whole new woman this morning!" she said jokingly.

Peeta just looked at her and shook his head. "Jo, be nice. Did you leave anything in the kitchen?"

"Oh, Mellark, I haven't even started on you!" Just then Haymitch came in, knocking once before opening the door. "And Haymitch up before 12! Today is just full of miracles!" Jo yelled, tossing Haymitch a bun.

"Whoa, what's going on here?" Haymitch stated, sitting down at the table. I glared at the two of them.

"Nothing, except breakfast apparently." I answered grumpily.

"Or these two had quite an interesting evening and morning." Jo teased. "I think our little Kitten grew up last night, Haymitch. I could also say that our baker may be making a different kind of bun. Oh, this isn't going to get old anytime soon!"

"Jo." Peeta said. That was all he had to say and it simmered down to talking about the day. They were coming in at 11, so we had about an hour before. We weren't entirely sure what their plans were, or who they were sending, so we just decided that we would take them to my old house to go over the plans.

Haymitch kept looking back and forth between us, but something Jo had said sparked a worry in my mind. I didn't even think last night about the possibility of a child; all I could think about was being close to him. We would have to discuss that, because I didn't see children in my future. Peeta ran upstairs as we were about to head out and I almost followed him, but Jo grabbed my arm out and brought me outside.

"You are going to tell me what happened, right?" she asked me, smile on her face.

"You seem to have figured it all out, so I am not sure why I need to tell you anything." I told her. Peeta came out the door then, catching up to us. I thought I saw him slip something to Jo, but I didn't have time to ask. She said she would be back in a bit and took off.

"Peeta? Did you…" and before I could finish I heard the humming of the hovercraft. I felt the panic rise up in my throat, could almost taste it, when his hand found mine, wrapping himself into me; grounding me.

_Shorter chapter, I know, but I really want the experience for the next chapter to be Peeta's. This is his baby, after all. Thank you again for all the support and love I have gotten from you all! I really appreciate it._


	26. Chapter 12 - Peeta

_I do not own The Hunger Games! First, I would really like to thank you, all of you, who have been through this story with me, either by commenting, favoriting, following, or even reading. This has been the first thing of length, and by far the longest, I have ever written and if it were not for the support I don't know if I would have been able to continue. So thank you, all of you. Please continue to do what you do, and if you would like to leave words, or click a button, that is awesome, but if not, and just read, know that I appreciate that too. I felt I had to update quickly because after the last review I was worried I could possibly be putting someone's life in jeopardy! It was sweet, and made me laugh, so thank you, Guest._

Peeta:

I heard Katniss start to ask me something but the humming of the hovercraft made it impossible to make out. I saw her expression, her fear, and grabbed her hand for support. She didn't just hold it, she melded into me for protection. It was strange almost seeing her like this; the Girl who feared nothing and everything, leaning on me for support and comfort. I wrapped my arms around her, so she knew I was there and so she wouldn't head off to that place in her mind where she is so hard to reach. I whispered in her ear, "Remember last night; remember me. Don't let them take you away from me." I knew those words would cause her to jolt, and it did.

First off the hovercraft was Plutarch Heavensbee, looking dapper as usual, but slightly subdued. Next came Caesar Flickerman, all pomp and circumstanced out. He actually had grey hair, pulled back in a ponytail and a suit that didn't light up. Following the rear was someone I didn't recognize; straight blond hair, business suit, holding a clipboard of some sort. It couldn't be; it couldn't be her.

"Effie?" I called out, not believing my eyes. She looked up at the moment and when she saw Katniss and myself, she came over, smile coming over her face.

"I should be angry at you both for not writing to me!" she scolded and I quickly realized not all had changed with Effie. She looked so different, so professional, but still had an air about her. She clearly was on board to cover the schedules. Katniss seemed to relax then and Effie approached her.

"My dear girl. I am so happy to see you, and you seem so well. Adjusted, even." Effie could never understand how anyone could be adjusted here, in 12, where she considered it too different. Everything was so different now.

"Effie, you are really beautiful." Katniss told her. I could tell she meant it; she wasn't me and had a really hard time saying things if she didn't mean them to make someone feel better. To be honest, this more realistic Effie was breathtaking. Even Haymitch couldn't seem to take his eyes off her.

"Hey, Mahogany." He called out in greeting. He smiled at her, and put his flask away.

"Haymitch. I hope you have been doing well here too." She answered smiling at him.

Johanna came around the corner just them, flushed like she had been running. "Oh great, gangs all here." She said sarcastically.

"Actually, Beetee couldn't make it. He kept saying something about needing to work on something electrical at the Capitol. Annie couldn't make it either with her date being so close." Plutarch remarked.

At the thought of Annie's due date, it brought my mind back to last night. We really didn't think about any consequences, and though I wanted children, I wanted more for it to be the right time. Now was not it.

Effie looked down at her clipboard and began barking orders. Haymitch took his flask back out, and looked at me. "Some things never change, does it, kid." He smiled at me.

"Today will be just to do a test run. Make sure we can get everything we need to cover the filming in one shot. I have a feeling that it would be better if we can be as efficient as possible." Effie stated. Regardless of her being assigned to 12, I couldn't help but think Effie was the best task master around. I know she viewed it as a punishment, at least in the beginning, but she was an important person to both myself and Katniss.

"Sounds good, Effie. Just tell me where you need us." I told her.

Katniss spoke up then, "I don't mind there being some shots of me, but I really do want this focus to be on Peeta. He deserves this." She tells Effie, but I have a feeling it is more geared towards Plutarch.

"I agree," said Plutarch. "Of course, having you both together would be great to get, but this is more in line with the memorials that have been going up around the districts. This should be really great for 12."

There is my opening, my way of showing Katniss that this was my plan, and to not just bring the Capitol here. "That is exactly how I want it." I tell him.

We head over to a local place to eat and take up half the place with all the people, including camera people. Effie is going over times that we will take the tour, what time we will need to be needed to shoot, and ideas we may have. I really let her do all the planning, because as much as it should be, my mind is not focused on this. It's focused on the girl next to me; the girl I am afraid will break at any moment.

"Caesar, will you be doing interviews?" I ask him, realizing I hadn't spoken to him at all yet.

"Oh no," he explained. "Those days are long gone, and to be honest, I am happy about that. I am more in production now, piecing things together. I really just wanted to come and see you and Katniss."

I noticed everyone had quieted down before he continued. "I wanted to say to you, and to you Johanna, how sorry I am for the part that I played. I really didn't enjoy it, and I cared so much about you all. If there was anything I could do, I did. My job was just to interview you, but I kept telling myself that the real job was to aid you in Sponsors."

I know that he is waiting for me to say something, but it is Kat who does is. She stands up and walks over to him, sitting down next to him. She places her hand on his hand, gently rubbing it. "I forgive you, Caesar. I understand you had a job to do, or you would have died, or your family would have died. I understand what lengths people go through to save themselves or ones that they love."

He looked down, tears forming in his eyes. "Thank you, Girl on Fire. Thank you."

Johanna just rolled her eyes, and we knew that she was not going to be as forgiving. We ate the rest of our lunch and continued with our small talk. When it was done, we heading over to my museum, giving them the full tour. They all seemed touched, spending time in each room. We saw the pain, the confusion, and the destruction, that surrounded them.

"Don't just see it as what was taken away. Look instead at what they did; how they impacted us." I tell them.

Katniss reaches over and kisses my cheek. This is her way of supporting me, and I am grateful for it. Last night was exactly what we needed to get through today. I kept trying to catch Jo, but she was everywhere I wasn't, so it would have to wait.

We meet at our house for dinner, which Kat and I had already started. We had set up some of the other houses for people, and Sea had set some up over on the other side of town. Plutarch took me aside before everyone parted ways.

"So, how is she?" he asked, clearly concerned, "And how are you?"

"Honestly, neither of us will be the same person we were before the Games, or the Revolution, but we are learning how to be different; evolve." I told him.

"Any chance of us getting footage of your lives now?" he asks me. I know that I am sure it would mean a lot to those of Panem to see us still together, and I feel myself harden, regardless.

"No. Anything you get tomorrow is fair game, but I am not putting either of us through that again. We did our time, Plutarch. Now we need our space."

He places his hand on my shoulder. "It's fine, Peeta. In fact, it's more than fine. I was grateful you were letting me do this."

"I want them to see that a District that was destroyed is coming together; thriving even. Mostly, I don't want them to forget what it cost all of us to get here." I tell him.

Plutarch sighs heavily. "War does that, Peeta, and I am sorry it had to happen to the two of you. I am happy that you found each other again. I guess there was never any doubt that you would." He says with a smile and walks off.

I see Katniss talking to Effie, and they seem comfortable, so I search out Jo. I find her outside with Haymitch, just sitting and drinking together.

"Finally come to join us on the naughty list, Peg-Leg" Jo asked me, handing me the flask. Haymitch took it back before I could even decline.

"No, are we all set?" I ask her and she nods.

"He said a week." She responded.

Haymitch looked to us, confused. "What's going on?" he asks us. Haymitch hated feeling out of the loop, even when things like this would clearly make him uncomfortable.

"Peg-Leg is going to make an honest woman out of our kitten." Jo giggles at him. I throw her a dirty look.

"Is that right?" Haymitch asks, rather sarcastically. "You sure you are ready for this? What this could mean for both of you? It isn't going to be easy, you with your episodes and her with her crazy."

"If I didn't know you better I would be offended, but I know you are looking out for us. Yes, I am sure. I can never remember a time when I wasn't." I told them

They look at each other and each take a swig from the flask. "Disgusting, isn't it?" Haymitch asks Jo.

"It's ridiculous." She says, but I can tell from both their tones that they aren't talking about the drink, but they do sound sad. Just then Katniss and Effie walk out.

"Haymitch, will you show me to my house?" Effie asks, and before he could answer, she had already grabbed his arm and was making him lead the way.

"I suppose I better turn in as well. If anything happens tonight, I expect full details." She says winking at us.

Katniss and I blush as we enter our home. It still smells of dinner and people, so we clean up as much as we can and go upstairs. We crawl into bed, both excited, but minds and hearts racing. Even without touching her, I know her heart is racing because it is my heart as well. We are one.

"Peeta, we aren't going to talk about this tonight, but we will have to eventually discuss children." She tells me.

"Yeah, let's save that one. What did you think about today?" I asked her.

"I think it went better than planned." She answered. I knew it was true, and I was grateful to Effie for coming along. She seemed so different, but some parts would never change. "I think last night helped a lot."

"You know, I was thinking of that all day." I told her honestly. How couldn't I? Every dream, every hope, came true in one night.

"Tomorrow may be a rougher day," she said in a slightly teasing voice.

As soon as the words were out, I knew that again tonight would be no thinking and just being. She made me alive, she made me whole. It was as if I couldn't exist without her. I could deny her nothing so when we lowered the lights we closed the gap between us and created our safety net of each other.

"I love you." She whispered as she fell asleep, "Always."

"You are my world," I tell her, "Always." I slowly drift off to sleep, for a few moments forgetting every bad thing that had ever occurred.

_Whew! Done with this chapter! I hope to get another one out tomorrow, but we will see how it will go. I hope you enjoyed this, and please, leave some feedback, good or bad. I love you all!_


	27. Chapter 13 - Katniss

_I do not own The Hunger Games. I have to be honest here; each chapter makes me slightly more nervous since I know it is coming to an end soon, and I don't want to let them go. Almost like Titanic where Rose holds on or just makes room on that door (not calling her selfish, but maybe they could have planned that a little better). I wish I could go on forever, but I know that in the end all I wanted to do was piece together some things that were a bit fuzzy in my mind, while staying true to the books and the characters. Anyways, I am sure you didn't come here to listen to me go on so let me begin:_

Katniss:

I wake up before Peeta, which surprises me because I almost never do that. I worry for a moment and check to make sure I can see his chest rise and fall; some habits may never go away. I get up and take a shower, wondering if he will make an appearance, but he doesn't. We still have some time to go before we need to be out, so I decide to take a walk. I thought about making breakfast for everyone, but didn't think that would go over so well. There is an eatery in town, and it even serves up decent meals now that we don't have to depend on the woods for our survival, so I just figured we could all go there.

I stop over at my old house. No one is staying there, so I open the door and go in. I knew what I wanted to get for today; even with the memory of Peeta last night, I was still afraid of what it would be like when the cameras actually started rolling.

I walk into the kitchen, which has a slight chill. Mornings are still somewhat chilly in 12, even if they do warm up in the afternoon. It is so strange to think about how alone I felt in here. When we first came back from the Games and we were given the house, my mother and Prim tried their best to make this feel like a home, but it was never my home. I still held onto the home I grew up in, the one where the garden now stood. Everything was so confusing; my life was drastically different, my feelings were all over the place. I didn't have much time to try and sort them out before Snow paid me a visit on that fateful day.

Peeta and I, well at that time there was no Peeta and I. People in 12 knew, they all knew, that our love story was not what it presented itself to be. They went along with it, to not would have put everything in danger, but those first few months, we had almost no contact with each other. I always wondered why he didn't bring his family with him when he moved to the Victor's Village, and I knew I would never ask him. It seemed cruel to bring it up now.

Did I love him then? I honestly don't know. I know that I missed him; we had been very close in the arena, and to have that ripped away at the last moment, when you had to start to deal with what actually happened was hard. Gale was in the mines, but we had our Sundays, and he never really brought up Peeta. When I look back on it, I think it was because Gale wouldn't ask me a question he either already knew the answer to or didn't want to know the answer to.

I walk upstairs to my room, my old bedroom, pausing only to place my hands on both my mother's and Prim's door knobs. I still hadn't opened those doors since I came back. Part of me wanted to think that if I did open them, maybe they would be there. I didn't want to kill that dream.

My room looked just the same as it always had. Plain walls, plain bedspread; there was nothing about this room that screamed "Girl on Fire". There was nothing about this house that did either. I opened up my closet at the clothes I left behind when Peeta and I started over. There were still clothes, ones that "I" designed, and some of the ones Cinna had made for me. I started feeling the fabrics, admiring the beauty. I picked out an outfit for today out of these clothes, wanting to wear something that Cinna had made. If I could represent him at all, I would. It was soft, but durable, with earthy colors that would complement my skin and eyes. Every month he would send me something, so much that some things I would give away to kids in the Seam; ones that didn't have everything I had. I knew Cinna would approve of this.

I went for what I had come in for. I opened the drawer, the one with the locket and the pearl. I saw the locket, but not the pearl, and panic took over. I searched the entire drawer, empting its contents and throwing things on the bed. I looked under the bed, in other drawers; I knew I had it in this room and now I couldn't find it. My mind was racing, hands flailing, trying to find it. I was so caught up in what I was doing that I must not have heard anyone come in.

"Katniss, dear, what are you doing?" I heard a voice say. "Your face! Why are you crying?"

I looked up then, and I must have looked like a wild animal, things flung all over the room. Effie came down and sat on the bed. She picked up the locket, holding it in her hands.

"I can't find my pearl, Effie! Peeta gave me a pearl and I can't find it!" I almost shouted at her. I really looked at her then, how different she looked. She didn't have the vacant expression anymore, but there was still a realness to her that the old Effie didn't have. It's hard when the world you know changes and you have to deal with it. I knew that feeling all too well.

"Come sit by me, dear. You know that you will never find anything if you are frantically searching for it." She said. Deep down, I knew she was right, but it didn't stop the panic.

"This locket. I remember when Peeta asked me about it. It was right before the second Game, when I suggested that we all needed something to show we were a team. He came to me after that, after you and Haymitch had retired and told me what he wanted. He said he needed it to convince you to keep going. That he would give it to you at the right time, but it was clear to me what he meant. He never intended to get out of that arena alive."

"Effie…" I began, but she was lost in her own thoughts.

"That's when I really started to realize how horrible things were. Not just the Games, but all the roles we played. The prep teams, the designers, myself even. When you both made it out of the first Game, how could I not be proud? I will admit this now, to you, because I want you to see it, but I was proud because I felt that I had something to do with being the only escort that had not one, but two, people survive in the same game. It was a first. I would be honored in the Capitol." Tears started to fall down her face.

"I would be promoted, or at least have a seat on the Council. I wanted a seat on the Council, Katniss. When the Quarter Quell announcement was read, and I came back, I will admit to being relieved that Haymitch's name was the one I drew. That's when I realized really what I was a part of. I should have known that Peeta would volunteer, and that this love, your love, well there was no way of a repeat performance. One of you would not make it out. The odds were not in your favor." She almost laughed, but a sob came out instead.

"Effie, really…" I tried again, but she continued, and I let her. I had a feeling this is what she needed to do, her real reason for coming.

"When Peeta told me about this locket, and how he wanted to remind you that you still had something to live for, and without you he didn't, that is when it fully washed over me. I was somehow responsible for this position you were in. I was leading one of you to your deaths, possibly both, and I had come to love you both so very much. I couldn't bear the thought of losing either one of you. I remember breaking down one time to Haymitch and he told me not to worry, and I slapped him, wondering how he could be such a monster. Now it makes sense, of course." I hand her some tissues so she could wipe her eyes.

"I knew though, I knew that you wouldn't just let him die for you either. There wasn't any locket in the world that was going to convince you that he needed to die rather than you. That is just the love you both have for each other. I remember thinking of that when I was locked up, waiting for my execution. I wonder why so many died, yet I didn't. I will never know why they kept me alive. Maybe they knew, they understood, that keeping me alive was worse than death."

"Effie, I am not going to say it's okay, because you wouldn't believe me. I do want you to know that neither Peeta nor I blame you. It was your job, and you did do it well. I learned a lot from you, and I know I wouldn't be sitting here if it wasn't for you. It's all over now, Effie, and we can all rebuild and start over. I may never understand how, but it all worked out in the end. Don't put unneeded blame on yourself. No one knows how quickly that can destroy you better than I." I tell her softly.

"They killed them in front of me. My family, my siblings. All gone. I don't know what to do anymore, Katniss. My home feels more like a prison than prison did."

"I'm so sorry, Effie. I didn't know about your family." I know that pain as well. The pain of losing people you love, being taken from you in front of your face, with nothing you can do about it. "Effie, I told Jo, and I will tell you too. Stay here. Stay with Peeta and I in 12. We may be a little damaged, but we love you." I knew, for old Effie, I would have to lay it on thick. "I honestly would be devastated if you said no. I don't know what you have been doing in the Capitol now, and I can't promise that it would be an easy life here in 12, but you would have people who love you. Peeta and I would be honored if you did."

She looked at me then, tear stains, a small smile on her face. She wiped her face again with the tissue and straightened herself before she answered. "I don't really do a lot in the Capitol now; mainly I keep Plutarch on schedule with everything he needs to do. I will think about your offer, Katniss, and you are very sweet to offer me a home. We should get washed up; we do have a lot to do today, don't we?"

Arm in arm we made our way through the house. It came to me that while I was talking to Effie, I had seemed to forget my own panic of not being able to find the pearl. I would come back another time, when there wasn't as much going on. The pearl did ground me, and it meant a lot to me, but so did the people I had at my side.

As we exited, I saw Peeta walking around, still in his night clothes. "Katniss! You had me worried when I couldn't find you!" he yelled, not at me, but rather to me. "I looked for a note, something to tell me why you weren't there!"

"I'm sorry Peeta, I didn't expect to be gone so long. I just ran back to the house for some clothes, and I bumped into Effie." When I said this, his focus finally cleared enough to notice I was standing with her. I could see his panic, similar to my own, to hers. I walked over to him and hugged him, holding him close to me. "I'm here, Peeta," I whispered to him. "I will always be here." I could feel him calm down.

"Sorry Effie, I didn't mean to yell." Peeta told her, almost sounding like a wounded animal.

"Peeta, darling, you don't have to apologize for that, but you should apologize for coming outside in your night clothes, all disheveled! People will think I haven't taught you any manners!" she said, and Peeta and I couldn't help but smile. We brought Effie home with us, and went over the schedules before Peeta got ready.

As I made all the appropriate phone calls to advise everyone where to go to meet for breakfast I realized that maybe Effie had always been right. In this case it seemed that if you put enough pressure on a pearl you could indeed find a diamond.

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I thought we needed an Effie moment, and I debated giving her a view point, but then realized it wouldn't quite fit. Katniss has a tendency to freak out, but yet can always compose herself and snap out of it if she can help someone. We had seen this type of behavior from her before, and I thought it would fit here. Plus, I think Effie would have wanted a say, would have come to some harsh realizations during her time in the war. Well, til next time, may the odds be ever in your favor!_


	28. Chapter 13 - Peeta

_I don't own The Hunger Games. I don't have much to say here other than I hope you enjoy!_

Peeta:

I wake up to find the bed empty and Katniss's side is cold. I figure she must have woken up without me, and I get up to head downstairs. The house is eerily quiet, and after a thorough search, I realize she isn't here. None of her clothes are missing that I can find and I start to feel my anxiety build. My mind starts racing; the Capitol being here, Katniss being gone. I start to think that they have taken her, maybe to execute her for killing Coin now that she is over her insanity. I run outside, yelling her name, and when I get closer to her old house I see her and Effie walking towards us.

I know Effie said something to me, and I am sure I responded, but my mind could only focus on Katniss. She was safe, she was in my arms, whispering. We headed back to the house, and I was trying to get myself out of my shock before anyone really noticed.

Effie went over the schedules and I went to get ready. When I was done, Jo and Haymitch were also in the kitchen. Everyone looked rather subdued, and it was easy to understand why. The generations that would come after us, they wouldn't have the same fear of gatherings, especially with Capitol representatives. We went to the eatery, and we were quite the crowd. 12 had people, but not this many usually showed up for breakfast. I realized I probably should have let them know our plans, like people would do if they had big orders for the bakery. They weren't put off, though and soon the talk was of the day. The crew wanted to get some shots of 12, what had been rebuild, Prim's garden, Sae had agreed to talk of the changes. They had wanted to get some footage of the Village, of Katniss and I together, but we had already told them we weren't going to do that. As we finished up, we agreed to meet at the museum at noon for the ribbon cutting.

Katniss had gone off with Jo, to help her with picking things out for her new house. I still couldn't believe that Jo was going to be staying and I was happy about it, even if she did like to push buttons for enjoyment. It was almost as if we were building a community of survivors. There were no winners of the Games, it really was about surviving. Effie came over to me and agreed to follow me to the museum to make sure all the finishing touches were done.

"You should be proud, Peeta. This is quite the accomplishment. I am sure your parents would be proud." She told me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure if my mother would have ever been proud of me, but thank you, Effie. It means a lot." I said to her sadly. I really didn't spend a lot of time talking about my family. Some memories are meant to be buried.

"I don't see how she couldn't be proud of you. I have never met anyone who had the ability to care as much as you do. I told Katniss this morning, and I don't want to get into the whole conversation again, but I do want you to know I am sorry, Peeta. I am sorry for the role I played in the Games." Effie took her hand away from my shoulder. "I know an apology would never be enough to take back everything both you and Katniss went through, but it is sincere."

"Effie, it wasn't your fault. If you want to think about it like that, we all played a part. All the districts offered tributes, some trained for it. Plus, if things hadn't turned out the way they had, we wouldn't be standing here now, free. I could almost guarantee you that I wouldn't be with Katniss. I accept your apology, Effie, and trust me when I tell you I don't blame you. Thank you for doing everything you could to keep us alive."

She then surprised me by giving me a hug, and just as quickly releasing me. "You have loved her since you were 5, haven't you?" she asked me.

"Since the first day I saw her. How could anyone not love her?" I asked more to myself than to her.

"She loves you, too, you know. You can see it. I could always see it." She told me.

I raised my eyebrow at her, knowing at least the first Games, I am not sure how anyone could have seen it. "Did you?"

"Without a doubt. The way she took care of you, Peeta. The way she watched over you while you slept. She would brush your hair out of your face, try to bring down your fever. The way she handed you those berried. I know some may have thought it was defiance, but it was clearly an act of love."

I took comfort in that; coming from Effie. "Thank you, Effie. Thank you for everything."

Soon it was noon and quite the crowd had gathered. Effie and I went outside and Plutarch was there on top of the steps, beckoning me over to him. The cameras were set up, and I could see Kat, Jo, and Haymitch standing to the side. I tried to get them to come up, but they wouldn't move. The crowd had gotten bigger even during this time, and I knew it was time to start.

Plutarch started by saying what an honor it was to be able to be there, among us in 12, and how happy he was that the Capitol could assist in bringing this to life. He then stated that the Capitol couldn't take any of the credit however, and then handed the mic over to me.

I looked out into the crowd, faces I have come to know over the last few weeks. I kept gazing until I found Katniss and she gave me a small nod. Caesar gave me a signal and I knew that I was supposed to start speaking.

"For 75 years, we were reminded what the cost of a rebellion would be. It would be the reaping of 24 innocent children, none who participated in a war, and send them to their deaths, with only one coming out as a victor. The one victor was a symbol of generosity, forgiveness, showing that they could live the rest of their life with enough to eat, enough to live, enough. I was a victor once. I never had enough though. I could never forget enough, sleep enough, think about the families who weren't so lucky to have someone come home.

As a victor, you find a way to cope, so you can try to lead a productive life. I found mine in two ways. One was love, the other was art. I was able to paint the Games as only one who has been in them could see them. I was able to connect with some others where art was their escape as well, and that is where this idea was born.

This stands to honor those who are and are not able to be here today. This stands not to forget, but to remember. We fought another war, this time to end our oppression, and lost yet more loved ones. This stands so hopefully no one will have to know that pain again. This is here so our children have a place to understand what happened, and also for the entire country to come and mourn.

My hope is that never again are we pit against each other for any reason. That we can finally have peace, without a need for Peacekeepers. That equal rights will be equal and none of our children will ever know what this feels like."

I stop talking then, looking out at the crowd. Caesar gives me a thumbs up, Effie is wiping tears, Jo is nodding, Haymitch is drinking, and then I see Katniss, starting a slow clap, which is quickly taken up by the crowd. I reach my arm out to her, and the crowd parts to let her walk through. She comes to me, and I take her in my arms, kiss her softly, and whisper in her ear. "Thank you, Katniss, for coming up here."

The crowd goes crazy when they see Katniss and I together, and I know that no matter how hard we may try to deny it, we still are a symbol for them. I don't know how Kat will feel about it, but at the moment, I am just happy to be here with her. I cut the ribbon, and the cameras enter, as well as the crowd behind them.

Hours later, we are at the hovercraft saying our goodbyes. Plutarch comes first shaking both of our hands and congratulating me on the success of the opening. He gives Katniss a kiss on the cheek and whispers something to her, but I am not sure what it is.

Caesar is next, clasping both my hands in his, and then pulling us all in for a group hug. "It really has been a pleasure seeing you both. I hope you will come and visit us soon. You have always been my favorite couple, you know." He says winking.

Effie comes next, first talking to Kat, tears in her eyes. The embrace for a long time and then they break and she comes to me.

"My dear Peeta. I want you both to take care of each other. I know you are both strong, but I hope you know how much stronger you are together. I plan on coming back soon to visit, but I want you to know I will miss you so much." Her tears are forming again, and I kiss her hand.

"Effie, you may be back here sooner than you think, if your schedule allows it. I may have a job for you here." I tell her with a smile. She tries to press me for more details, but I won't give any to her. "Just wait for a letter or call."

We all watch them leave, and I think we all breathe a collective sigh of relief when it is over. Jo says she is set up enough for the night in the house she has chosen, so she calls out that she will see Kat in the morning and walks away.

"Got morning plans, Sweetheart?" Haymitch asks her.

"Sort of. Jo is going to help me sort through some of the things at my house. I may be able to pass some things off to her to help with the transition. I mean, there are stores, but they may not be fully stocked up yet." She tells us.

"Are you going to be okay with that Kat? Do you want me to be with you?" I ask her, worried about what going through her old house could potentially do to her. I grab her hand, wanting to make sure that she will be fine.

"Yeah, I will be fine. Jo will be with me, and she is quite a force." Katniss says and I laugh. I know that all too well.

"Well, I am going to head home and let you kids get to it. Actually, maybe I shouldn't say that anymore, now that you guys are apparently 'getting to it'" Haymitch laughs.

"Goodnight, Haymitch." We both say at the same time while heading home.

"So, apparently the whole town must know our sex life." Katniss says to me shyly.

"Well, to be fair, some of them probably thought you were pregnant once already." I tell her. That time period seems so long ago.

She blushes when I say this, and I can even tell though it is getting dark. "Peeta, we should talk about that. I know you want babies and…"

"Katniss," I cut her off. "Yes, eventually that may be nice, but now is not it. I know neither of us is ready. So, let's make a deal. No more until we have you see a doctor and see what we can do about any sort of prevention methods they may have. I can't say I know too much about them. It really wasn't something I had to worry about before." I say laughing.

She laughed with me. "Honestly, I never knew anything either. I did talk to Sae today, and she gave me a brew concoction to take in the mornings, but I would feel better seeing a doctor. I never thought I would say that. I just know that now is definitely not the right time. Peeta, I have to know. What if I never feel it's the right time?"

"Then we don't have children. I wouldn't force it on you, Kat, though I would hope we can at least one day discuss it." I pull her to me.

We walk the rest of the way in silence and head into our home. The future may be uncertain, but as long as I have her in it, I will be fine. This is real.

_Capitol residents are gone, and now we are onto the final stretch for Peeta and Katniss. Hopefully only good things to come, but sometimes these stories write themselves and I have no control over what happens! 3 you all, and thank you for reading!_


	29. Chapter 14 - Katniss

_I do not own The Hunger Games! I have found the odds are not usually in my favor, but it could always be worse. I could have actually lived in Panem, and I am sure with my odds, I wouldn't have made it far. So now, the Capitol people are out – now we can start towards the end. I thank you all for taking the time to read this, and please let me know what you think!_

Katniss:

Peeta is already in the kitchen when I wake up, so I go over and give him a kiss before joining him for breakfast. Living with a baker has its perks; even if he hasn't chosen it as a profession. I know that Jo is going to meet me at my old house for 10, and it isn't even 8 yet, so I have some time. We have some comfortable conversation, mainly happy that things went as well as they did when our visitors came.

"Effie changed a bit, eh." Peeta remarked, not quite a question.

"She did, though she still remembers about manners. Remember when we first met, and she had told us about the Tributes that ate with their hands and I started to just to defy her?" I asked laughing.

Peeta laughed with me. "I am sure she was surprised to learn we actually have knives AND forks here."

The realization washed over me that we were laughing together about our first trip to the Games, and it felt really good. Yes, it was horrible, but this meant healing. When you can look at something and laugh at it, something painful, you were beyond it, at least a little. It reminded me of how Gale and I would make fun of Effie's accent every chance we got. That was before the reaping. We never got to that point again.

"Are you sure you don't need me today?" Peeta asks, a look of concern on his face.

I stand up and walk over to him. "Peeta, I promise I will be fine. If I do need you, I will send Jo to get you. You go to the museum today. I am sure there will be things to do before the big broadcast. In fact, thank you for breakfast; I am going to head over there now."

"I thought you were meeting Jo at 10?" he inquires.

"She'll be there at 10. There are some things I need to do first." I tell him.

"Remember, get me if you need anything." He reminds me. I kiss him on the head and take off to my old home.

I walk into the empty house, and start a fire. I know I will be spending some time here, and I wanted to make sure the place was warmed up. There is one room, just one that I want to face alone. It wouldn't feel right bringing anyone but Peeta in here, so I decide to get started there.

I open the door to Prim's room; the first time since my return to 12 that I have done this. As soon as I do, I get a whiff of Prim, and a breeze. Sleeping on the bed is Buttercup, her cat, who I haven't seen since one of my first returns to 12.

"Glad to see you are still doing okay." I give him a gentle pat, and he doesn't hiss at me. I often think Buttercup and I came from the same stock. We both loved Prim, we both tend to be stubborn, and usually that stubbornness leads to isolation. I leave the window open for him, because I know that he needs this room.

Everything was exactly as I remembered. I slowly open the closet, and see her clothes neatly hung. Clothes she didn't have time to grab when the bombing started. 13 wouldn't have let her wear them in any case, so here they hung. I let my fingers run over each piece of clothing, trying to pull a memory of her in them. My heart feels so heavy.

Her bed was still made, most likely from the morning before, and before me is her vanity. I could imagine her sitting here, not to do her hair, or makeup, like someone from a wealthier family may have done, but to do homework, or take notes on healing things my mom has told her about. I find pictures she has drawn; apparently she also had the ability to draw, just as my father had.

I open a draw and find containers of homemade salve, bandages, and a picture she had drawn of a young boy, someone I knew she went to school with. He was from the shop area, and by the detail I could tell that she must have meant something to her. I move these things around and see another drawing of my Mockingjay pin. Something catches my eye, an envelope, and it had my name on it.

I slowly pull it out and stare at it. How had she written me a letter? I open it and look at the date. It was the date of the second reaping; the one that hadn't allowed me time to say goodbye. Hadn't I thought of doing the same thing? Writing letters to my family because I was sure I wasn't going to come home? I start to read:

_Dear Katniss,_

_Never in my life did I think I would be writing you a letter instead of just talking to you in person, but I don't know if I will ever be able to talk to you again. I know I shouldn't be surprised by anything that The Capitol does, but this seems cruel even for them. _

_I have so many things to say to you and yet I am finding them hard to say them. Sometimes I wish I didn't know you so well Katniss. When you took my place in the first Games, I let myself believe you were going to come home. Sure, you weren't from 1 or 2, and you hadn't trained for this, however, I can't help but think you had been training your whole life. I don't think that will be the case in this one. It isn't because I don't believe you can do it, because I know you can. If you don't come home it will be because you can't come home because it was your choice._

_I wouldn't blame you, or be upset. I know why you took my place in the Games, and it was because you love me, just as I love you. I also know that's why you won't come back. I am not sure if you realize yet or not, but I hope you do. I know you love Peeta Mellark, and if there is not a way for you both to come home, you will sacrifice yourself for him._

_I know you think I am young, and that maybe I don't know anything at all about love, but I do. I watched you in the first Games, and I watched you when you came home. When you came home, you seemed lost a little, which I can only imagine what Victors feel like, but it went beyond that. I would hear your nightmares and I would hear you calling out for him. I know you still spent your Sundays with Gale, but you would also spend a lot of time just looking at Peeta's house. I'm not sure if you knew this, but he spent a lot of time watching you, too._

_I hope you realize it during your time, Katniss. I am sure you will. Trust me, as much as it hurts me to know that I will most likely be burying this letter, I am happy that you are going with Peeta, and maybe the odds will finally be in your favor to understand how deeply you feel for him. I want you to not worry about me, or Mother. We will be fine, Katniss. She isn't like she was when Dad died. She hasn't been for a while, and I hope that you were able to somewhat mend your relationship with her. She doesn't talk to me about things like that, just as I don't talk to you about how I know what you are really feeling. We will be okay. If Peeta does come back without you, I will make sure he is okay too. Gale and everyone else will also be okay. You will be missed, without a doubt, because you are so loved here, and always have been by everyone who ever got a chance to look at you, hear your voice, heard you sing a song. I want you to allow yourself to love, even if it is for just a short amount of time._

_I suppose my last words will be thank you, Katniss. Thank you for everything you have ever done in your life to ensure that Mother and I survived, even if it took so much away from you. Thank you for teaching me about bravery and selflessness. I will promise to live the rest of my life, honoring yours, in the same spirit you did, but with the gifts that I have. If I was allowed to say goodbye, I know what I would have told you. It wouldn't have been to try and win this time. I know you far too well. It would have been to let yourself love for the period of time you have left. You deserve it._

_I love you forever,_

_Prim_

The tears were flowing when I heard the door open and Jo calling my name. I couldn't talk, or move, not because I was lost, but because I knew if I opened my mouth it would just be a sob. Jo found me, in Prim's room and for a moment looked scared, but saw I had something in my hand. She took it from me, and read it. For a long while we both sat there not talking. It wasn't often that Johanna Mason was at a loss for words.

"They didn't let you say goodbye?" she asked me, quietly.

"No." I answered, finally able to control myself. "Did they let you?"

"Yeah, they had given us time, but I didn't have anyone to say goodbye to. They must have really hated you." She said.

We both looked at each other at laughed. "Yeah, I think you are right on that one." I answered honestly.

"Whenever I think of the old ways, and how they couldn't be any crueler, they surprise me." She told me. "I can't imagine what you, or Peeta, must have felt like, going to round 2 without saying goodbye."

"It was hard. I remember talking about writing letters to my mother and Prim and giving them to Haymitch, but I could never do it. It was too final."

"So, you really did plan on not coming home?" she asked me.

"Oh, I didn't think there was a chance in hell I was coming back. Prim was right, I had already talked to Haymitch and told him I expected him to get Peeta out of there, no matter what the cost." I said to her, head still down.

"You really didn't know that you loved him? Peeta? Because really, I think everyone knew by the end of the second Games." She asked me with an air of disbelief.

"Life was a bit more complicated. There really wasn't a lot of time to process much of anything." I told her. "Speaking of which, have you seen my pearl? I was looking for it the other day and I couldn't find it."

"No, I haven't seen it since I saw it in your hands. Maybe you put it somewhere different; you were having an emotional time. I am sure it will show up. Look, Kitty Kat, I'm sorry how we started out, you and I. I can't pretend that I wasn't angry at the entire situation. I thought the whole thing was bullshit, and then talking to Finnick, he told me that there was some plan, and I had to side with you. I was pretty determined not to like you." Jo stood up and went to pet Buttercup. Before I could warn her about Buttercup's surly personality, he was on his back, allowing her to pet him.

"You don't have to apologize. I am sure I would have felt the same, if I had known."

"I couldn't believe you didn't have an idea; that this whole thing was done without you or Mellark knowing. Now that I actually know you, I am not surprised. You would have blown the whole thing." she said, with a laugh to her voice.

I look around, trying to find something to throw at her, but the room still feels too sacred. 

"Let's go to the other rooms and see what we can come up with. Maybe we will find my pearl." I get up and start to drag her out of the room.

Hours later, we have a few boxes packed of things for her to take to her house. We are sitting at the table, having some tea when Peeta walks in.

"Everything go okay today?" he asks us, joining us at the table.

"Yeah, everything was fine." I tell him, not ready to show him Prim's letter. Jo looked at me, but didn't mention it either, so I knew it was something that we both understood.

"You coming back for dinner, Jo?" Peeta asks her. "I don't know what's on the menu tonight, but I am sure we will have enough."

"Nah, I am heading on over to drop this stuff off and then I figured I would spring a surprise visit on Abernathy. I hear he loves that sort of thing." She states, winking at me.

We close up and leave the house, and I feel another weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. I know I wasn't given a chance to say goodbye to Prim twice, but this letter was almost as good. She knew me better than maybe I even knew myself, and I knew she would be happy for me now. I grab Peeta's hand as we walk down the road, and told him I would cook tonight and then we should spend the rest of the night together, doing whatever he wanted.

"You must have had a good day today." He teased me. I could feel the warmth of his voice, and I could feel his love for me. It just radiated off of him, and made me wonder how I could have ever doubted it, or went for so long without seeing it.

"I did, Peeta. I really did." I say, pulling him in for a quick kiss. Today I was reminded that we may never know when our times will come, so we should take any advantage that we can to show the ones we love that we love them.

_As always, thank you for reading/following/favoriting this story! Please let me know what you think and again, til next time, lovies!_


	30. Chapter 14 - Peeta

_Hello lovely readers! It's been a couple of days, but life has been a bit crazy, and I haven't had the time. I did go see Catching Fire last night with the bestie, and my mom (who I may have converted into a fan) and now it is Sunday morning and the time has come to write. Peeta has a lot to do, so let's get going! Please let me know what you think and how you think it's going. I really do love hearing so much and waking up to a review this morning helped a little bit!_

Peeta:

I walk out of the jeweler's shop holding the box that he gave me. Jo was right, it took about a week, but I would have waited a month for what was inside. It was better than what I could have expected and I hoped Katniss would think the same way. I was walking through town when I saw Sae, taking care of Prim's Garden. In just over a month it was doing very well, and the community all pitched in to help it.

I was really surprised at how different things were now. Prior to the rebellion, Seam and the Shop families didn't really talk to each other; there was an unspoken boundary. As much as I hated the Games, I knew that my chances of standing here, having this in my pocket, even getting Katniss to talk to me was something that would have never happened.

Sae called me over and I headed over there. "Good morning, Peeta. Would you mind helping me to dispose of these weeds?" she asked, handing me a basket.

"Of course not, Sae. How are you?" I asked her. She really was a wonderful woman and I was so grateful that I was able to get to know her; that she was here to take care of Katniss when I wasn't.

"Oh, just the same. It seems things are going well at the museum. That was a really smart idea, Peeta. I went there once. Did you paint the pictures of 12?" Sae asked me, with a look of admiration.

"I did. I used the stories you told me, and what I remembered for most of it." I told her. I could see Sae's expression, and was a cross between grief and love.

"You did a good job, boy. It brought me back; I remembered a lot of people and life." She said softly. I gave her a hug and just held her for a moment. We all lost a lot in this life; friends, family, ways of living. I always thought of Sae as a rock, holding all of us up when we needed her the most and it was wonderful to provide her this simple act of kindness.

"Thank you." I whispered to her. I walked her home and we went inside where she made me a cup of tea.

"There's something different about you, Peeta." She told me smiling. I wondered if she was referring to the new aspect in Katniss and I's relationship. I knew Sae knew, because Katniss had told me that she had provided her with some herbs to help prevent her from pregnancy. She must have known what I was thinking of as I felt my face get hot. "No, no, not that, and don't you go getting all embarrassed with Old Sae. I was surprised you both waited as long as you did. Don't deny yourselves any source of happiness after what you have been through; what you both have been through. Don't worry about what I give her, either. Most of the Seam women I knew took the same thing, because really, you couldn't go having lots of kids without a way to support them. Not that I think you and Katniss couldn't support a few babies, and I would be rightful proud to know your children, but the girl isn't ready yet."

"No, Sae, I don't think it's that, but thank you for easing that worry for her. I know she isn't ready yet, and I am not pushing her into something that big if she isn't ready." I told her.

Sae's eyes filled with tears. "It just warms me up to see how much you love her. To see her too, so different, even from a few months ago, when she wouldn't even move out of a chair to how she is now. I think her camp is going to be a big success."

"Camp?" I asked, not knowing what she meant.

"Oh. Maybe she wanted to surprise you. Don't say anything to her about it yet, let her tell you in her own time." She looked guiltily.

"I have something to show you. Can you promise to keep it as a surprise?" I asked her, taking the box and opening it to show her.

"Peeta Mellark!" Sae exclaimed joyously. "That is the most beautiful item I have ever seen! You are going to…"

"Yes. It's crazy to think about, even now." I start to tell her. "I loved that girl since she was 5."

Sae stood up and held me close. "I know your mother and father aren't here, but let me tell you how proud and happy I am for you. You have done all of us proud, Peeta. Even though you aren't my boy, I feel like you are now. I don't ever think there could be anyone better for her than you."

"She does amazing things for me too." I tell her, embarrassed by all the praise. "She has gotten me through a lot over the last year."

"That's why you both are meant to be together." She tells me, smiling from ear to ear. "I'm so happy you get to do this on your terms this time." I give her a hug, tell her I have to head out, and head out back towards home.

When I reach the village, I almost walk right into Jo. "Hey! Watch where your walking, Peg-Leg!" she yells at me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, Jo, I was just lost in my thoughts." I tell her honestly. I was thinking about how I wanted to do it, when would be the right time. She didn't have her father, but should I call her mother to ask her permission? Given their relationship, I wasn't sure if that would be right either.

"Let me see it. I know you have it in your pocket. Either that, or you are really happy to see me and I have underestimated some things about you." She teasingly said.

I pulled out the box, opened it, and saw Jo's face. "I don't think your picture even looked this nice." She said softly. Her eyes got a faraway look in them and she started to daze off.

"You ok?" I asked her. I almost put my hand on her shoulder, but this was Jo, and that small action could land me on my back.

"I was just remembering when I saw Katniss before the interview. Snow had her wear that wedding dress, mocking everything, all of us. I remember at first being so pissed off at her, that she would do that, figuring she was attempting to get the sympathy vote. When she told me that Snow made her do it, I softened, because in that rare moment, I saw her. A girl being played, shown that no matter who she was, her life was not her own. I told her to make him pay for it."

I stood there remembering that night, all of us attempting to get the citizens so riled up that they would cancel the Quell. It was a longshot, and it didn't work, but we still tried. I remember seeing Katniss in that gown, and how beautiful she looked, and Jo was right; it was cruel. The citizens didn't know the truth, about anything, but if we were at that time everything we said to be, how hurtful to make us wear the clothing we would have worn to our wedding.

"Mellark? I'm happy for you and for her. You both already made Snow pay, but this time, do it all on your terms. I'm glad you won't have the Capitol running this one for you." She started to walk away, but turned around. She came back and threw her arms around me and just held on. "You make me feel like there is a chance for me not to be some fucked up girl. That maybe there is a chance for me to just be normal and have a normal life." She took off before I could even say anything back to her.

I entered my house and found Kat dressed and at the table. "Peeta! Where were you? I was so worried!" she scolded me. I remembered that in my excitement, I forgot to leave a note.

"I'm sorry, Kat, I forgot to leave a note. I had to do something at the museum." I told her, feeling bad for lying to her.

Her eyes searched my face, a strange expression on them. "You weren't there." She told me simply. "I know you weren't there because that was the first place I called when I noticed you weren't home. They told me that they hadn't seen you all day." She crossed her arms, standing up and backing away. "Why would you lie to me?"

"Kat, I…" I started, but she didn't let me finish. I really wished I had left that note. I watched her, wanting to walk towards her, hold her and let her see what I had been doing, what I held in my pocket. It was easy to forget with her, that no matter how far we may have come together, that there was still a broken person, and I was still a broken person. I imagine how I would have felt if Kat just disappeared for a while, and I didn't know where she was, and then she just lies to me when she got home. "Really, I can explain."

"Don't." she said. "Is there something else, someone else? Why else would you lie to me?" I could see her panic rising, and I needed to get it down, but before I could, she ran out the door.

I slammed my fist on the table. A note. A note could have prevented this whole thing from happening. How often had she seen me lie to people? Granted, there was a purpose, but how often had she seen me do it? I don't know why she would think I was seeing someone else, but maybe in her mind it would be the only reason to lie.

I ran out of the door and towards her old house. I saw Jo again and she just looked at me. "Well, judging by Kitty-Kat's expression as she jolted out of here like the buzzer just went off at the cornucopia, that didn't go very well." She said. "How did that get so messed up? I know she is hard to do with, but I wouldn't have expected her to have that reaction."

"She caught me lying to her." I caught Jo up to speed quickly, because every second was wasting time.

"God, Mellark. Couldn't you have just told her you went for a walk? Someone as seasoned as you I figured wouldn't have a hard time coming up with something. We have to find her." She said as I started walking.

"I have to find her, Jo. Do me a favor, and let Haymitch know, in case she goes to see him before I find her. If you see her, just keep her with you until I get back." I start off. I think I know where she is, would almost bet anything that I knew exactly where she was.

I head off into the woods, knowing that she knows them so much better than I do. It takes me some time, but I am able to navigate through them thanks to our meetings out here once a week. I look in the normal spots, but she isn't there. I am calling for her as I walk, hoping to hear her answer. I start to head out to the last place I can think of.

It takes me some time, but I easily find my way to the lake. I stop, just at the opening, and see her. She is sitting against a tree, her legs pulled into her chest, her arms around her legs, and her head against her knees. I slowly walk over, but my step has never been light. She immediately looks up, and faster than I have ever seen, jumps up and backs away.

"Peeta, I need you to leave. I just need you to leave." She says to me, tears streaming down her face.

"Katniss, I would give you anything in the world that you ask for, except for that. I need you to give me 5 minutes, and if at the end of the 5 minutes you still want me to go, I promise I will. If you want me to jump in that lake, I will. If you want me to leave 12, I would. Just give me 5 minutes to explain." She doesn't say anything to me, but gives me a slight, defeated, nod.

"I know that you deserve better than me, Peeta. I know that, and I don't blame you for finding it." She tells me, looking devastated and exhausted.

"Stop. It's my 5 minutes, and I need it." I begin. She looks up, surprised at the urgency in my voice. I am almost in a panic, so afraid of losing her.

"5 minutes, 5 years old. I think 5 may be my number. Katniss, I have loved you from the moment I saw you. I wish I could have spoken to you sooner, I wish I could have been braver for you, some way to show you how much you have always meant to me. The first reaping, I remember you not crying, and I couldn't help but cry. I remember my mother yelling at me saying it was a sign of weakness. I wasn't crying for weakness, Katniss. I was crying because the only time I was ever going to be able to spend with you was walking towards our death. Do you know how important you are to me? Do you know that if my name wasn't called, I was already debating volunteering because I knew no one else would sacrifice themselves to keep you alive?" Tears started falling down my face, and my voice was starting to break. This was not the way I wanted today to go. I wanted it to be perfect, and maybe for the first time, I realized that our lives may never be perfect, but I wanted to make it ours.

"I lied to you. I did, and I am so sorry. Hopefully, in a few minutes you will understand why I did, but if you don't, I'll understand that. I am so sorry I hurt you, but I am even sorrier that I made you doubt my love for you for even a moment." I moved two steps forward, not enough to spook her, but I needed to be closer to her. I slowly reached into my pocket, taking out the box. I held it in my hand, not presenting it to her yet.

"I know we are both broken. I know that we won't have an easy life together, and there will be moments for both of us, where we are survivors again, instead of normal people. I don't care what kind of life we have. I just want to spend it with you. I have been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever, and it's a moment that we probably should have never had. You suggested it once, and I agreed and stormed off. It wasn't because I wasn't happy at the thought of spending my life with you, but I was tired of feeling like it was just for the cameras. I wanted it to be because we both wanted it. I wanted to know you love me, just as I love you, and I know you do now." I held out the box to her, opening it.

I saw her hand go to her mouth as she covered her gasp. "I gave you this pearl as a gift to remember me by when I was gone. The locket was for what you had waiting for you, but the pearl that was for you to think of me and me alone. I am giving it to you again, not as a symbol of losing me, but a symbol of me always being by your side."

Inside the box was a ring; gold, set with 13 diamonds in a circle with the pearl I gave her in the middle. 13 diamonds to represent what brought us together, and the pearl as a symbol of my love. I watched her crumple to the ground, sobs wracking her body.

I felt crushed. It wasn't the response I was looking for, but after today, how could I expect anything else? I wanted to go to her, I needed to go to her, but I was fairly certain that she wouldn't want that. I placed the box on the ground. The ring could only be for her, and even if she wouldn't wear it, it still belonged to her.

I turned and started to walk away.

"Peeta." I heard her say, softly, but audible enough for me to turn around. She was standing up and had walked to the box; had it in her hand. "Where are you going?"

"I asked for 5 minutes. I may have gone a little over." I told her, tears still falling. "I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm sorry I hurt you."

She took the ring out, staring at it, then asked me to come to her. I ran, at this point not being able to walk. She grasped me like I was a life preserver and held me to her. "I thought I lost you." She told me between sobs."

"You could never lose me. I have always been yours, Katniss. There has never been anyone else for me but you." I told her, kissing her hair, her cheek, wiping her tears as she wiped mine.

"I'm so broken." She admitted. She placed the ring in my hand. "If you can deal with a broken girl, then I promise to spend the rest of my life trying to make you not regret your decision. Can you put it on?"

My heart stopped. I took her in, all of her, she was so beautiful. This was the moment, the absolute moment I had been waiting for my entire life. The moment that should have never happened, the odds never in our favor, but somehow defeating them. I slowly got down to one knee and extend my hand to hold hers. She gently placed her hand in mine, smiling at me.

"Katniss Everdeen. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

"A thousand times yes; in this life and every life hereafter." She whispered.

I placed the ring on her ring finger, and she knelt down to me, cupping my face with her hands. Her lips met mine, gently kissing me, deepening the kiss. I could feel her, her emotions, her love. We stayed this way for a while, watching the sunset over the lake, holding each other. We would face everything together, this time for no one but ourselves.

_And engagement! I was telling my bestie that this was so not how I planned it. I wanted Peeta to plan this whole romantic date, pop the question at the end, but once again as I start writing it doesn't work out that way. Oh, these two, always throwing wrenches in my plans and doing what they want. Please let me know what you think, good or bad, because I really cherish every review. I love you guys! Til next time!_


	31. Chapter 145 Johanna

_I would be bereft if I didn't say that I wasn't deeply saddened yesterday about the passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman, our Plutarch. I knew him in many roles and loved his take on Plutarch, and loved him as an actor. It was too soon, and very sad. I do understand how he died was reckless, but no one knows the pain of another, and Jim Carrey said it best (at least for me) when he gave these thoughts: "__Dear Philip, a beautiful beautiful soul. For the most sensitive among us the noise can be too much. Bless your heart.__" RIP, Philip._

_I do not own The Hunger Games. I was going to go into a Katniss perspective, but someone else came knocking on the door yesterday. I wanted to push through it, but she cannot be denied, because she has a story to tell. Come on in, Jo. Warning: I am sure there will be some foul language. I apologize, but we aren't dealing with two normal characters._

Johanna

I watched Mellark leave, a look of panic on his face, and I started running through the houses. I started first with her old one, figuring maybe she was hiding under a table, or in a closet somewhere. I checked the other unoccupied houses before I went to see Abernathy. I knew he would be sleeping; normally I would take great joy in waking him up, but not today.

As I walked quickly to his house, I couldn't understand why I was so worked up about this. Mellark was an idiot. Someone who spent so much time lying to the Capitol should have played a better game. I walked into Abernathy's house without knocking.

He was asleep on a living room chair when I walked in. The man must have at least 3 bedrooms in this place, and he chooses to sleep in the living room. I shook my head as I started shaking him. He didn't move, and for a moment I thought he may be dead, but then I heard him mumble something. I decided to do the only thing I could and just flip the chair over.

He sprawled to the floor but surprised me by jumping back up and getting into a defensive position. I could see the glimmer of the knife in his hand.

"You too?" I asked him, nodding at the knife.

"What the hell, Johanna. It's bad enough I have to deal with Sweetheart pouring water on me to wake up, and now you just dump me out of furniture? Why do I have to deal with you guys?" he asked me, straightening out his clothes.

"It must be because your heart is overflowing with love and admiration for us. Look, I didn't come here to spar with you. We have a situation." I gave him the rundown, Mellark had a ring, Mellark went to get it, he took his time getting home, Kat caught him in a lie, and now they are both missing.

Abernathy looked at me, pretty unimpressed. "Yeah, and?" he asked, going into his kitchen to make coffee. I saw him pull down two cups.

"Well, we have to find them." I tell him. I couldn't understand him most of the time, but right now even more so.

He continued making coffee, not saying a word. He started pouring the coffee into the two cups, took out a flask, put it towards me as a gesture and I nodded no.

He handed me my cup and put his chair back in the right direction. He sat back down in it and pointed towards the couch. I sat down, just staring at him.

"Here's my question to you. I have known you for, oh, I don't know, three or four years. I have never seen you this concerned with anyone." Abernathy asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, I can't seem to figure it out myself. They are both a pain in the ass." I took a sip of my coffee so I wouldn't have to talk or think.

"Fair enough, Tiger. So here is what we will do. I will get up and call Sae when I am done with my coffee. Once I am done with that, we will wait." He tells me.

"Wait?" I ask, in disbelief. "You just want to sit here? Aren't you even the slightest bit concerned?"

"No. I'm not, actually. No one knows hiding spots better than Sweetheart, and no one knows Sweetheart better than Peeta." He got up, called Sae and I heard him talking to her, just letting her know to call him if she sees or hears anything. "Sae saw Sweetheart taking off for the woods. That's exactly where I knew she would go. Peeta headed out there too. See? Now you really should apologize for throwing me out of my chair."

"How and why do you deal with them?" I say, shaking my head.

"Well, probably for the same reasons you do. I didn't have much going on in my life when they both went in for the 74th. As for the how, I just let them do their thing. They usually get it figured out in the end." He opened his flask and put more liquor in.

"So, that's the plan, let them get it figured out?" I say accepting the flask this time. I am not one to usually just sit around, but I realized I wasn't sure what I would even do if I found them.

"Figuring it out, Tiger? Good, well then, let's just spend the day enjoying each other's delightful company. Since you were so determined to wake me up, I may as well grace you with my cheerful demeanor." He smiled at me as he lifted his coffee cup in the air. "May the odds be ever in their favor!"

We sat in silence for a while; I would glance out of the window from time to time to see if they had returned. Abernathy just sat there, watching me, almost like he was trying to figure something out. We had some lunch, which surprisingly was not just liquid, and I began to relax a little.

"Look at the two of us, sitting here," Abernathy started, "I remember when I approached you about assisting me with the breakout, and how determined you were to not comply."

"Well, you didn't approach me about a breakout and revolution. You approached me about aligning myself with Katniss." I tell him, with a slight laugh. "I hated her."

"Yeah, you came around when I told you it wasn't just for an alliance, but to start a revolution. Why did you hate her? You didn't even know her." he asked me. The sarcasm was off at this point, and I could tell he had been thinking of this for some time.

"I think for a few reasons. One, she did what I couldn't do. The berries? A stroke of genius and stupidity all rolled up in one, but it was the big middle finger to the Capitol. Two, she got out with someone else, someone who she "loved" but at the time we all thought it was bullshit. I mean, when did the Tributes get to make the rules? Three, she was there because of her family, and I lost mine. I don't think I hated her now that I think about it. I think I was more jealous. She got to keep everything and at the time I didn't feel like she lost anything. I never really thought of her as a victor." I wasn't going to cry; not here and not in front of him.

"I can understand that. We did have a pretty elite group. Trust me, Tiger, if there was no rebellion, and if she made it out, she wasn't going to have everything. That's why it had to be that moment; that Quell that we moved." He got up, looking out the window. His posture softened a little, his voice a little sadder. "Tell me what happened to you. I know what happened after the Capitol got you, but tell me what happened before."

Not this. Not this again. It didn't matter how much time had passed, it never got easier. "I don't think I can." I sigh.

"You can. We have some time to kill, so let's just get it out. If we are going to be neighbors, and you just want to flip me over chairs, I think it's only fair." I realized that this wasn't a question, but a demand. Normally, I would be defensive about this, but I realize he isn't asking me to be an asshole.

"I guess I was like everyone else once. I stood in the line, in the group, and my name was never called." The words come out softly, the memories not pleasant.

"Until the day it was." Abernathy said.

"Until the day it was," I agreed. "At the time, I had my family, my mother and father, and 4 brothers and sisters. I also had a boyfriend, the one I planned on marrying. When my name was called, I was in more shock than anything else. I said goodbye to my family, really thinking that this was the last time I would see them. Daniel came in to say goodbye and that was really hard. He was the one who gave me my strategy. He told me to just lay low, play stupid to not look like a threat. As always, he was right." I looked over at Abernathy. I was expecting something snide to come out of his mouth, but he just said nothing, waiting for me to continue.

"I found it wasn't easy, killing people. I know it may not have looked that way, but each death killed a piece of me. My only thought was going home, to my family, to Daniel. I did, and for the first 6 months, I was okay. I had nightmares, sure, but I really thought I could make it through. I wasn't planning on the Tour."

Abernathy laughed, and I knew it wasn't at me. "No one expects the Tour." He said.

"No. It started out easy enough. This piss poor place, 11, but the closer I got to the Capitol the harder it got. I remember being in 4, and meeting Finnick. He tried to warn me, prepare me, but I thought it was bullshit. I had already started my defiance by that point. I stopped reading the cards, I started speaking out about how horrible it was. I made it to the Capitol." I couldn't speak any longer. Words were getting caught in my throat. Abernathy went to his cupboard and brought me a bottle. I drank slowly, not knowing how to continue. We sat in silence, him not pushing me to continue, and me remembering. When I was ready, I began again.

"I was there, and I remember meeting Snow, who took me aside. He told me how disappointed he was with me for the things I was saying and how I didn't appreciate his generosity. I spit on the ground at that point, because there was nothing generous about what I went through. I had no idea how much worse he could make it. He told me that there were "special friends" who wanted to meet me. This was exactly what Finnick was warning me about. I told him to fuck off, that I didn't need any more friends. He laughed, that bastard laughed, knowing what was going to happen.

Once everything was said and done, I went home, proud of myself for not doing what Snow or the Capitol wanted. They were all waiting when I got home, and life was normal for a little bit. It was a false security. Accidents started happening. One of my brothers fell in a ditch, breaking his neck. Snow sent me flowers. He sent me exactly 7 roses, 6 white, one red. My other brother had a tree fall on him. I got 7 roses again, except this time 5 were white, two were red. I think you can get the pattern.

One by one, they went, all of them. I tried to get Daniel to leave, to move out of my house. He wouldn't leave me though. He told me he wasn't going to leave me alone to deal with this. I came home that day to find him hanging with 7 red roses underneath him."

"Jesus." Abernathy said. I could see him shaking his head, processing all of the information.

"Snow personally came to the funeral, and it took everything to not kill him then and there. I had lost everything, everything, and for what? My integrity? My pride?"

"I can understand why you hated Katniss in the beginning. Comparatively, you couldn't be more opposite with opposite outcomes. You were close with Finnick though, how did that happen?" he asked me.

"He was the only one who tried to warn me. He was also safe. I didn't think they were going to take him away with how much he meant to the Capitol. I guess we all need someone." I laugh at this, the whole situation. Abernathy and I, sitting in a house, going over my life.

"So, now here we are." Abernathy says, handing me a plate. I hadn't even noticed that it had gotten dark out, or that Abernathy had made food. I was lost in my past.

"You think they got back?" I wondered.

"I don't know, but I do know they are together." He answered, eating quickly.

"How do you know?" I didn't think I would ever understand these people from 12.

"I know them. They go through things, they work them out. Peeta will get through to her, because it is what they do. You may think it's strange that I'm not worried, just like I was surprised you were worried. I get it now, though." He tossed me another roll, smiling as he said it.

"You get what? I sure as hell don't get it, whatever it is." I tell him as I shove the bread in my face.

"You care because you love them too. Whether you want to admit it or not, and trust me, I get that too, you do. Welcome to the family, Johanna. It is a typical family, and we are all more than a little bit fucked up, but we get through. None of us are alone." He looked out the window and offered to take a walk with me to go see if their lights were on. I think we both knew they hadn't come back, because Sae would have called. We walk in silence, and when we see their dark house, we walk back to mine.

"It will be okay. I know them, and I know you do too." He opened my door for me, and I stood in the doorway. We weren't that different, him and I. When I thought about it, none of us were that different. When I really thought about it, I knew he was right and they would be okay. He started to walk away when I called out to him.

"Hey! Thank you for today, for reminding me, and for getting it, Haymitch."

"Ideally, it would have been best if none of us had to get it. I'm happy you're here though. At least I don't have to be disgusted with their love behavior by myself." He said laughing as he walked away. "Goodnight, Johanna. Don't wake me up tomorrow." He called back.

I shut the door behind me, and for the first time, I didn't lock it. Every last one of them was a pain in the ass, but he was right. This really was the first time since before my reaping that I felt like I had a family again. The odds may not have been in my favor, but sometimes, if you are lucky, you get to even out.

_Next chapter we will get back to Katniss and Peeta, but I wanted to flesh out Jo a bit, so here it is! I hope you enjoyed, and remember to let me know what you think! _


	32. Chapter 15 - Katniss

_Hello, everyone! I had to take a Peeta/Katniss break because this is going to be a very intimate chapter (Warning: Intimacy will be all over the place. If you want to skip this chapter, do, but it is part of the reason I bumped it up to M. It was pretty much this chapter.). I also realized that I had to do two things, one being give Jo some background and two, make her not flip out on them when they get home). That being said, I don't own The Hunger Games. I am going to throw out warning number two, again, graphic chapter ahead, I mean they just got engaged and that was the important part. I will keep it classy, but there will be adult situations._

Katniss:

We held each other watching the sunset go down over the lake. I felt his arms around me, his breath on my neck, as if he were breathing me in. I kept staring at the ring on my finger; it was so beautiful and perfect, just like him. My pearl, surrounded by 13 diamonds, a reminder of what was and what came from it. I don't know how I could have doubted him for a moment, my Peeta, my rock. I just didn't know what to think when he had lied, never imagining that it was this.

I feel him gently kiss my neck and I turn to face him. My lips find his, gliding over them, warm and soft. His eyes gaze at me lovingly, and I stand up, grabbing his hand. "You know we can't go back tonight, right?" I ask him. "It's getting dark quickly, and it would be better to wait until the morning. There is the cabin over there, and it's still okay to use. My father and I used it plenty of times when I was younger." His eyes leave mine and go towards the direction I am pointing to. I start off in the direction of the cabin, hoping everything was still there that we would need. I know Gale took everyone out here when the bombing happened, and I wasn't sure if all the supplies were in place.

It was a cement structure, not very large, but certainly large enough for Peeta and myself for one night. I walk in and was surprised to find more firewood, and some fishing poles. I found a few things that was left behind that could be used for sleeping, like some furs that must have been here. Peeta came in behind me and held me at my waist.

"Why didn't we just live out here?" he asked me softly, his voice with a hint of laughter. "It certainly would give us privacy." I know he was talking about Jo's frequent showings in our house when we would get up in the morning.

I laugh as I toss him a fishing pole. "Ever been fishing, Baker?" He catches it with one hand, smiling at me.

"I can't say I have, but I am sure you are going to teach me now." He responds. Before I could answer him, he draws me in to kiss him, this time his lips slightly more demanding. A warmth spreads over me, starting first in my stomach and seemingly spreading out to every area of my body. I break away from him, knowing there are some things we need to do first, before everything got to be dark.

"Here, bring these by the lake. I'm going to start a fire and get this place in shape for us to sleep in." A blush has crept into my cheeks, and I couldn't look at him yet. I heard the door, and I quickly get a fire going and spread out the furs. I was surprised to find some cooking utensils as well, also things left behind when the refugees were picked up by 13.

I go outside and start gathering some wood for a fire outside. As it starts to grow, I meet back up with Peeta to catch dinner for the evening. I take my fishing pole, and try to teach him how to get the hooks on, grateful again to Mags for showing me how to properly do it in the training area. I laugh as Peeta stumbles with his, and I give him the task of finding the tubers to go with the fish.

It doesn't take me long to get two fish, and Peeta has collected more than enough tubers. I clean the fish and bring out the pan I found in the cabin. "I'm sorry I don't have spices or anything." I say to him as I start cooking.

"It's perfect and will be perfect." I look at him then, and see his eyes. They are filled with so much love and something else, something that makes me want to just go to him now and leave the fish and the tubers.

We eat in silence, and quickly. The chill is starting to come in the air that always comes with nighttime, no matter the season. I really wasn't thinking about the weather when I ran out of the house this morning and I am paying for it now. I start to shiver, just softly, but of course he notices. He takes me plate from me, goes to the lake and rinses it off.

"Kat, go in the cabin. I can finish up out here." He says to me. I want to argue with him that he will go and I will finish, but I decide not to. There are some things left to do in the cabin and I decide to set off to do them.

I enter the cabin, straightening out the furs, adding more wood to the fire. I light a couple of candles I also found, placing them in the corner. It was quite nice in the room, soft glows from the fire and the candles, the furs spread out, while another folded to cover us. There was everything we needed to last the night, for a few nights if we wanted. I placed my finger on the pearl, feeling the familiar comfort that it always gave me.

I hear him come in and turn to face him. "I think we are all set." I tell him, walking over to him. "We should be comfortable for tonight and then we can head home in the morning."

"And what if we don't go back in the morning? What if I want to stay in this place, in this time, with you, forever?" he asks me, his voice lowering. He leans in towards me, his mouth just next to my ear and whispers, "Always."

A shiver runs down my body, and my arms go around him, my hands in his hair. He could ask me anything in this moment and I know I would give it to him. My lips start on his cheek, leaving soft kisses, going to his ear, gently biting the lobe. "Then always it would be." I whisper back. I hear his soft groan as I do this and before I know what is happening, he picks me up and carries me to the furs.

He gently lays me down, my hands still wrapped around his neck as he lowers his head to mine. This is a different Peeta than the one I know. He feels different to me, more possessive. It's as if he finally understands that I am his as he is mine. He goes to take his shirt off, but I stop him.

I touch his hands and move them down. He looks at me, slightly confused, but I gently take his arms and reach them over his head. I take off his shirt, slowly and softly, and put it to the side. I use my hands to explore his chest, his back, and his arms. I am on my knees, matching his position; I turn my head slightly to the right so I can begin kissing him. My mouth is on his, tasting his lips with my tongue, and his mouth opens for mine. As our kiss deepens, so does my boldness, and I start unbuckling his pants, taking off the belt. Our minds aren't even thinking anymore, just our hearts and our bodies. Words are not needed any longer; the time for them have passed.

He stands so I can remove his clothing and when I am done, he does the same for me. I feel him gently pushing my arms up so he can remove my shirt, his arms and body steady me as he removes my pants. My body is shaking, but not from being cold. He steps back, his eyes taking in every bit of me, and I feel a blush come over my entire body. I take this time to look at him as well, and he is perfect. His body, glistening from the warmth of the cabin, is just beautiful. He has always been perfect. I move towards him, closing the space between us; there has already been so much space between us and I feel like I can't take another moment.

We lay down while kissing, never leaving each other, and all I could feel was the electricity running through me. The softness of the furs, the softness of his hands all over me, my hands all over him, I felt that I had lost control of my entire being. My hips moved towards him, wanting him so badly.

He just shook his head no, and continued to kiss me. He left my lips and moved to my neck. He didn't seem to spend long there, before moving even lower, to my chest. "Tonight, Katniss, I want to know all of you. Tonight I want you to belong to me."

I wanted to tell him I already belonged to him, but I couldn't. Every time I opened my mouth a soft groan came out. As he moved lower a new type of feeling came over me that I had never felt before. My hands dug into the furs, as I opened up for him. I have never been so exposed, and at first a feeling of embarrassment came over me. I let it come and go, because this was Peeta, my Peeta, and I was his. Soon, instead of embarrassment, it grew into a feeling of needing, wanting, building stronger and stronger until it felt like every piece of me was alive. I had never felt anything so connected to anyone, so loved and protected.

I moved away and laid him down. I kissed him deeply, wanting to show him how much I loved him. I could feel him underneath me, and I stopped thinking. I let my body take over and control what was going to happen. My need for him was so great, the need to be one with him. I placed myself over him, hair falling in his face and guided him into me.

I heard him gasp, and I laced my fingers in with his. There was no directions needed, our bodies knew what they needed to do. We moved as one, every part of us that could be connected were connected; bodies, fingers, lips. I could hear him calling my name as I kissed him, first slowly, then with more urgency. His grip on my hand became harder, and he moved slightly faster, kissing me harder, owning my soul, just as I owned his. When it was over, I laid on top of him while he gently stroked my hair.

"I love you, Katniss. I will never stop loving you." He whispered, clearly exhausted.

"I know, Peeta. I know. I love you too, and I am sorry about thi…" he cut off my apology with his mouth.

"No apologizing." He told me when he broke the kiss off.

I gently moved off him, and laid down next to him with my head on his chest. There was so much to say, and nothing to say all at once. I listen to his heartbeat, still somewhat racing, but slowing down little by little. I use my fingers to softly trace patterns on his chest, and I feel him rubbing my back. I never thought I would ever have these feelings for anyone, that I would ever have time to consider them, or ever be alive to experience them, but here I am. I keep tracing, my fingers moving slower, then just resting my hand on his chest. This is my last thought as I feel myself falling asleep, wrapped in his embrace.

_I think that may be the last M scene I do, but these kids, they tend to do their own thing. Seriously, I did want to have at least one intense, emotional, scene for them, and not smutty, but classy, something I could actually see happening. Things happening between two people who truly love each other can be absolute beauty. Until next time, lovelies! We have a wedding to plan soon!_


	33. Chapter 15 - Peeta

_Hello again! Last chapter was not a lot of plot movement, so I figured I would finish up Chapter 15 today. I hope you all enjoy and leave a note if you like it!_

Peeta:

I awake with her next to me, both of us covered in furs. I watch her sleeping, her face soft with expression, not pained as I have seen it so many times. The ring shines on her hand, light bouncing off of it, creating patterns on the wall. I smooth her hair back and kiss her forehead. She slowly opens her eyes and when she sees me, gives me a smile. I never thought that life could be this peaceful, this happy.

"Good morning." I softly say to her, while putting my head on her chest. I wanted to listen to her heartbeat, to know that this was all real.

Her hands played with my hair. "Morning." she said as she ran them over my hair and my shoulders. "I suppose we should probably get back home."

"I wish we didn't have to," I said to her, not wanting to go back to reality just yet.

"Me either, but I think if we don't, a search party may come find us. Do you want Jo to see us like this?" she asked me laughing. She had a point, in fact, she had an excellent point. I had forgotten that I told Jo that Katniss had run away and I hoped she wasn't worried. We quickly cleaned up and decided we would eat when we got back to the house.

We walked back together, hand in hand, and it didn't take us as long to get back as it seemed for me to find her yesterday. Sae smiled at us as we walked by and we stopped to talk to her.

"My dear, you are absolutely glowing!" Sae said to Katniss as we approached. Katniss was blushing and as we got closer, Sae saw the ring on her hand. "Oh, darling, this is perfect. Just perfect. I can't think of any two people more deserving of happiness." She gushed while Katniss thanked her.

"Sae, I know it's early yet, and clearly Katniss and I have a lot of planning to do, but I was hoping you would be able to perform the ceremony." I asked her.

Tears filled her eyes, and Katniss gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I didn't have to ask her if she approved; I knew she would be behind me in this decision. "I would be honored to join you both together. Now you two get out of here so you don't see an old woman cry." Sae hugged us both and we continued on our way.

"Peeta," Katniss started, "that was wonderful. I think Sae doing the ceremony would be perfect." She stopped and gave me a quick kiss.

"You know, if we keep stopping to kiss, we will never get home." I jokingly say. I pull her along, knowing we will have a full day ahead of us.

We entered our house and as I opened my door, I heard a noise and saw something coming towards me. I ducked in time, pushing Katniss down with me.

"What the hell, you two? I had to spend the day with Abernathy and was worried sick the whole night!" Jo yelled at us. I stood up, Katniss moved past me to get in the house and I followed behind her.

"I'm sorry you were worried, Jo, but really, can you not lay traps for us when we open the door?" Katniss snidely said as she went to the counter to grab some bread for toast.

"You were really worried?" I asked her, feeling bad for making her worry. I should have found some way to let them know we were okay, but I really wasn't focused on that.

"Actually, no. I slept fine and came over when I woke up. I did spend the day with Haymitch though." Jo stated while she chewed on a roll that he managed to not throw at my head. Katniss glared at her while she cut bread slices.

"Kitty-Kat, the ring is gorgeous. Congratulations, you two. Abernathy said you would work it out, and you did. I guess in this one case, I am glad I didn't get to see the fireworks." Jo stood up and walked over to Katniss. "Look, I am not one for hugs, but I am happy for you and wish I could show you in some normal way. I want you to know you do deserve this. Be happy." Jo patted her on the head and walked over to me. "Mellark, you did it. I'm proud of you, too. If things don't work out, you know where to find me." she said and winked at me.

She ducked at just the right moment to avoid a piece of bread hitting her in the head. She laughed and walked out the door.

"I do wish she wouldn't actively flirt with you." Katniss remarked with a bit of a scowl on her face.

"You know she does it to get a reaction out of you, right?" I told her. I knew Jo would never be interested in me, not in that way, but seeing Katniss get jealous was something that amused Jo very much.

Katniss just shook her head and went back to work. I went through the storage to find things to make a decent breakfast. When I came back up, I heard Katniss's voice and thought someone was over. Then I realized I didn't hear another voice. I put the cured meat down on the counter then started towards her.

"Hello, Mom. I hope I didn't interrupt you. I know it took some time for them to find you at the hospital. Yes, I am fine. I'm sorry I haven't called sooner. Did you get my letter? Yes. No, no. I'm glad things are going well from you. Have you heard from anyone? Oh, it's good that you still talk to Sae and Hazelle. Mom, listen. I am getting married. Yes, Peeta asked me last night. I would like you to come; you can stay with us or with someone else. I don't use the old house anymore. I would really like you to be here when we get married. Sure, I will let you know the date as soon as we talk more about it. It's okay that you have to go, you are at work. Hey, Mom? I love you." She hung up the phone and I went back to the counter.

She had called her mother on her own; to the best of my knowledge it was the first time she had actually talked to her since she came back. I knew how hard it must have been to do that, and I was so proud of her for doing so. She came back into the kitchen, a small sad smile on her face.

"So, when we figure out a date, I have to let my mom know. She is going to come." She tells me, sitting down at the table with her cup of tea.

"How about tomorrow?" I teased. She laughed; it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"I think we will need a bit more time than that, but I would be fine with doing it as soon as possible. I mean, it is something we were always going to do anyways." She says with a wink.

"Always the practical one." I answer her, sitting down, handing her plate over. After we ate, she went to take a shower and I made a phone call of my own.

"Effie? It's Peeta. How are things?" I ask her. She sounds well, surprised that I was calling her, but still well. She tells me she is fine and things are good before I continue. "I have a favor to ask. Remember when I told you I would need your skills? Well, Katniss and I are getting married and I am hoping you can help me with having things set up. No one can run an event or keep things on a schedule better than you."

Effie is beside herself with joy and starts going on about cameras and programming when I tell her that there will be no cameras or programs, and that we just want it to be people we care about. I tell her I would get together a guest list, but I did want Katniss's prep team to come. I knew she would want them there. I hung up, promising her I would let her know as soon as we had set a date.

I sat down, letting everything wash over me. The one person I had always loved, loved more than myself, was going to be mine forever. This wasn't because of some forced situation created by a government, but because she wanted to be with me forever. It was real; I didn't have to doubt anymore.

Katniss came downstairs, dressed, hair wet, and stopped in front of me. She gave me a kiss, softly, before heading into the kitchen. We would talk today about all the things we wanted for the wedding, what we wanted, who we wanted to be there. I thought of my father, and how much I wish he could be there, just as I was sure Katniss would want Prim there as well.

I could hear her singing in the kitchen; something I hadn't heard in a long time. It was wonderful to hear her, to have these moments where I just felt so normal. I just listened to her, as I always would, as long as she would let me. As she sang, I let my mind wander a little as to how it would feel to be married to her, have a family with her. I knew there was no way she would agree to have a child now, but I did hope in the future she would be more open to the idea.

I yelled to her that I was going to go shower and headed up the stairs. It was amazing how in 24 hours so many things could happen, from the worst of situations to the best of situations all in the same day. I had learned a long time ago to appreciate the things that have come my way and I would spend the rest of my life appreciating her.

_Slightly shorter chapter, but there really wasn't much to say here. Thank you as always for reading and I look forward to the next chapter! The next one may be set up slightly differently, since really it is going to be both of them at the same place at the same time, and I want to capture both of their thoughts and their emotions at the same time without having to rewrite the same chapter twice. I love you all, and til next time!_


	34. Chapter 16 - Katniss

_I don't own The Hunger Games. It's almost wedding time! I am skipping to the night before the wedding, doing a chapter for both Katniss and Peeta. For the actual wedding, I plan on mixing it up a bit, doing just one chapter, switching between viewpoints. I'll try not to overcomplicate things, but I can't really see doing two separate chapters for each one. I hope you enjoy!_

Katniss:

I sit in Johanna's home, trying not to be too nervous about tomorrow, or tonight. My Mom is coming in tonight, and this will be the first time I have seen her since I left 13. Ever since I called her about the engagement, we have spoken a few times over the phone but I am still slightly nervous about seeing her. To say that we haven't had the most conventional of relationships would be an understatement. The more I thought about it, I realized I couldn't think of one person that I have had a conventional relationship.

I am brushing my hair when I hear a knock on a door and Jo goes to answer it. I have asked her to be on her best behavior while my mom is here; knowing Jo, she would say something or do something that would cause a negative reaction. I hear the door open and a familiar trill of a voice calling out my name. It was Effie's voice and I ran down to greet her. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, my hand flew to my mouth. There with Effie was Flavius, Octavia, and Venia. I flew into their arms, excited to see them.

"Katniss, dear, your hair, and nails! We have one day, not a month!" Flavius said laughing. Venia patted my head while Octavia held my hand.

"We have missed you so much! I'm quite upset you don't come to visit us!" Octavia scolded.

"We're so excited for you and Peeta! We can't wait to see him either!" Venia exclaimed.

I hear a soft voice behind them, approaching the door. "Katniss, you look lovely. It's so wonderful to finally see you." They part away so I can see my Mother, holding a bag in her hand, large enough to carry a dress. Everyone backs up so that my mother can come in and Jo takes Effie and the prep team into the kitchen to give my mother and I some privacy.

She places the bag down on the sofa and comes over to hug me. I realize that maybe for the first time in many years, I actually hug her back. When we release, there are tears in both of our eyes. "Katniss, I really am so happy for you. I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner, it's just.."

"Mom, it's okay. I survived, we survived." I then thought of Prim and how she didn't survive, and the pain gets caught in my throat.

Neither of us say anything for a moment, lost in our own thoughts, when suddenly she grabs the bag and my hand and leads me upstairs. "I'm sure you have a dress already, but I was given this to give to you from the prep team." She unzips it, and pulls out a dress that stops my breath. There was only one person who could have made this dress.

It was a champagne color, with a V neck, and embroidery throughout. There seemed to be diamonds that shined all over, giving off a spectrum of colors when the dress moved. The back had a train and bows went down the entire thing; I counted them and there were 13. It went down to the floor, and as my mother helped me into it, I was not surprised that it fit perfectly. I felt something in the bosom and as I reached in, I found a note. I asked my mother to give me a few minutes, to get the prep team, Jo, and Effie, but to stall to give me enough time to read. She nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek. When I heard the door shut, I took a look in the mirror before opening the note. I noticed that the dress wasn't on fire, it didn't have the appearance of fire. I twirled to make sure flames didn't come out of some area of the dress, but there was none. This dress was the epitome of light. Light came from every direction as I moved, from all around me. It was simple, yet absolutely stunning. I had already picked out a simple dress, one from a shop in 12, but of course I would wear this one.

I sat on the bed and opened the envelope. I saw the familiar handwriting and it took everything I had to not cry right then.

_Katniss,_

_If you are reading this then I know I am gone. I told you, Girl on Fire, that I channel all of my emotions through my work, and I don't expect to make it much longer. You, however, I am always betting on you and I am not usually wrong in my bets. This is my creation for you, my muse. To me, you have never been a fire, but a shining light. _

_I know about the rebellion and made all my designs before you made it back here to the Capitol. I have no doubts between Haymitch and Plutarch that you and Peeta will make it out alive. I just hope that you both make it out of the rebellion. Again, I have no doubts that you will just like I know you will bring Peeta with you to the end._

_I am glad you didn't have to wear any of the other dresses the Capitol wanted because they were never you. I hope that you will be able to do things in your way and on your terms when it comes to your wedding. You both have something so special and true. Live your life on your terms. Since you are reading this and have this dress, I know you made it out alive. Thank you for all that you have given us, and now it is time for you to be free. Fly, my Mockingjay, my Girl on Fire, the light at the end of some very dark times. _

_Goodbye, my sweet girl, live well._

_Cinna_

When everyone enters the room again, I wipe a tear from my eye. I can tell Jo has noticed but says nothing as everyone else fawns over my dress. The prep team start making plans about what they would like to do for the next day, including my hair when I hear my mother's voice.

"I would like to do her hair." She says, simply but firmly.

"Of course, that would be fine." Flavius says. Effie stands in the door, just smiling at me. There are tears in her eyes, and she comes over to brush a stray hair away from my face.

"We're finally here." She says to me, and I know what she means. We have gone through so much, all of us, and we were finally at a point that would symbolize happiness. She hugs me and tells me how proud she is of me, of how much I have grown. She asks Jo to take her to Peeta's. She has some things to go over with him about tomorrow. I hear the prep team telling her not to say anything about the dress, and they leave to go with her. It is just my mother and I left.

"You look gorgeous, Katniss." My mother starts, "I do wish Prim could have been here."

"I think she is. I feel like she is here." I tell her. I wanted to show her the note, but I decide against it, knowing that Prim wrote that for me.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" she asks me, helping me out of the dress. "Are you nervous?"

"Of course I am nervous, but I am ready. Peeta is the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with." I tell her, my voice steady.

"He is a wonderful man, Katniss. I think you both will make each other very happy. I knew his father once, a long time ago. He was also a wonderful man, and I am sure he would be proud of how Peeta grew up." She starts brushing my hair, like she had so long ago.

"He is wonderful. It may have taken me some time to realize it, but I know how lucky I am that I get to spend my life with him." I tell her.

"Will Gale be here tomorrow?" she asks me, braiding my hair for bed.

"Yes, he will. He said he is bringing someone. I know he is doing well in District 2, rising through the ranks. We try to talk when we can." I remember when Gale asked me if he could bring someone, a girl he had met in 2, and I told him of course. I had waited for the pangs of jealousy, but they didn't come. I was happy for him, that he had moved on.

We sat in silence together and I just leaned back into her. My Mother and I had always been so troubled; I could never understand how she just let go until I experienced it myself. I felt I knew a little better now, had grown up a little bit, and loved someone so much that if something had happened to him I could lose myself as well. I understand now with a woman's heart, and it was time to forgive. She put her arms around me and I asked her to sleep with me tonight, to be with me every step tomorrow. She nodded and together we sat, mother and daughter, woman and woman, healing each other.

_I so can't wait to get them married! One more viewpoint until I can write that! I hope you all enjoyed it, and let me know! Until next time._


	35. Chapter 16 - Peeta

_Yay, last chapter before the wedding, lovies! I want to thank you all for reviewing/following/favoriting/reading, etc. I don't own The Hunger Games, because if I did, this would probably not exist here, but in the book. This really has been so much fun to write, and as soon as I finish a chapter, I am already thinking of the next one. Anyways, let's get to the boys, and as always, let me know what you think!_

Peeta:

I pace around my living room, unable to sit down. Katniss is at Johanna's for the night, and I am left to my own devices. In the past, the night before a wedding would be a sit down with the two families about to be joined, but neither Katniss nor I really had anyone to do that with. I had my suit laid out for tomorrow already and I just needed to calm down enough to be able to sit still. The night before my wedding. My wedding to Katniss Everdeen, who will then become Katniss Mellark. I was lost in thought about how we would spend our wedding night when I heard a knock on my door.

As I was about to reach it, Haymitch opened the door and walked in, bottles in hand. "I thought you may want some company, since you know the girls are all at Jo's." He reached in and grabbed two glasses, pouring some of the liquor in each. I really didn't want to drink, but I figured one glass with Haymitch may help calm my nerves.

"Thanks, Haymitch. I appreciate it." I winced as I took to drink. I could feel it burning in my throat and down my chest. "How do you drink this?" I ask him, truly not understanding how.

"Easily. So, you ready for tomorrow?" he asks me, sitting in a chair and putting his feet up on the table.

"I think I am ready as I am going to be. I feel like I have been leading up to this my entire life." I would have never thought that I would be here, in this moment, preparing for my wedding to the girl I loved, mostly in silence, for the last 13 years. I was about to go and grab something to put out to eat when there was a knock on the door again. I looked at Haymitch surprised, but he just nodded at the door.

I opened it to find Gale, standing there, arms full. He walked in and put down his bags and turned towards me. "Hello, Peeta. These are for you, from the Capitol. I was on the same hovercraft as Effie and the team, as well as Katniss's mom, and they wanted me to pass them along." I looked through the bags and most of them looked like cards and gifts. "They are for you and Catnip." He nodded towards Haymitch and headed towards him, hand outstretched in greeting. They made some small talk as I put the bags in the other room; Katniss and I could look at them after, when we were alone.

"I know this usually isn't the normal situation for the night before a wedding," Gale started, "but I guess we don't have a normal anymore."

"Katniss told me you were bringing someone?" I asked Gale, curious to know more about who he would bring.

"Yes, I did. Anne is with Sae now. I wanted to stop over and see you before we settled in for the night." Gale said. "I would have brought her, but there are some things that are better said between just us guys."

"I would offer to leave but I think I will stay instead. Anyone need another drink?" Haymitch asked pouring himself another. Gale and I both declined and I asked him if we needed to go in another room.

"No, no, I am sure whatever I have to say can be said here. I just wanted to let you know that I am really happy for the both of you. I can't lie to you, Mellark, I was jealous. I have always been jealous of you, from the moment that you stood next to her as Tribute. When you did what I wasn't able to do in your first interview, which was admit your feelings for her, I was jealous. In fact, I spent so much time being jealous of you that it stopped me from really getting to know you."

"Gale…" I started to interrupt but he shook his head.

"No, I need to say this, to get it out before tomorrow. I was stupid, and my stupidity cost me. I changed, she changed, and people would probably say you changed as well. I am glad we were able to get together before, and I hope that we can truly be friends in the future. Take care of her, Peeta. Take care of her and love her." Gale reached his hand to me and I took it, shaking it briefly before letting it go.

"I promise you that I can do. I will try to take care of her, but I think you know how stubborn she can be. I am quite sure you know her best of all." I told him.

"Once, I would agree with you. I did know her best for a while. Now though, ever since you both came back from the Games, you know her better than I ever could. Thank you for keeping her safe." Gale looked slightly saddened, and I could understand where he was coming from.

"Now, why don't you get Anne, and we can have dinner?" I offered.

He agreed, and I sat down with Haymitch. "Haymitch, do you think he still loves her?" I asked him. I wasn't worried that he would try and take her, but I wasn't sure if he could just push them to the side, and how hurtful it could be to watch the person you loved get married to someone else.

"I think if he does, he is in love with someone that doesn't exist anymore. I also think he is smarter than that. I am sure there is a piece that will always hold her special, and him to her as well. Don't worry though, Boy. Lucky for you, sweetheart only has eyes for you. Almost all of us have known that for a long time."

"Almost?" I asked him, smiling.

"Well, the two of you can be a little stubborn. I'll be happy enough when tomorrow is over. I will probably still have to deal with you both, but hopefully it will be easier. How did you get them to agree to not film this? I would think that would be something they would be all over." He took a drink and stood up to get bread and some cheese.

"I just told them no. I knew Katniss wouldn't want it, and I didn't either. I just wanted something important to us to be ours."

When Gale and Anne came back, we had dinner and Sae joined us, bringing a tart for dessert. Anne was very pleasant, and very polite. She had sharp features, her hair pulled back in a bun, and I could tell she must also be military. She seemed to suit him, and they kept stealing glances at each other. I could tell, even in the short time, that they seemed happy. Sae and I went over the details, the small touches that we wanted for our ceremony. Gale reminded me that some of it was in the bags, and went to find them to bring them to Sae.

"I wonder what the girls are doing." I said out loud. I thought I had thought it only to myself, but realized I hadn't when they all looked at me.

"Well, we have Effie, the Prep team, Katniss, Johanna, and Katniss's mother, all in the same house. We'll be lucky if they all come out tomorrow." Haymitch joked. Sae laughed and stood up saying that she was going to stop over there on her way home. Gale and Anne also stood, offering to go with her. Haymitch yawned and stated that since we were making him wake up early, he would have to get to bed himself. Soon it was just me in the house.

I settled into bed a few hours later, thinking about how comfortable the evening had been when I heard something hit against the window. I thought at first I was hearing things, but then it happened again so I stood up and went over to the window. I opened it and felt the spring breeze come through. I looked down and standing there, in a nightgown, was Katniss.

"Shouldn't I have thrown rocks at your window?" I asked her. I had to smile, knowing the feeling of just wanting to see her.

"Maybe, but I beat you to it. I don't have a lot of time before they probably realize I'm missing. Jo was keeping them occupied so I could sneak out." She told me. It was hard to make out her exact expression, but I imagined her face lit up, glowing.

"You could have just come in, or I can run down." I told her, already putting on my slippers.

"No, Peeta. Stay there. I just wanted to tell you that I can't wait to see you tomorrow and I love you." She started to back away, and I called out to her.

"At least let me come give you a kiss!" I yelled down. I heard her laugh, more like a giggle. I wondered if Haymitch had stopped over there and had her drinking.

"No, this can't happen. The next time our lips touch will be when we are married. Goodnight, Peeta. I will see you in the morning." Before I could have said anything else I knew she was gone.

I went back to sleep, thinking only of her, and the day ahead tomorrow.

_Wedding now! I know, this was kind of a filler chapter and I expect the next one to take me a few days to write since I expect it to be longer. Til next time, lovies!_


	36. Chapter 17 - Wedding

_Wedding day! Yay! I don't own The Hunger Games. That being said, I have been looking forward to this chapter most of all. How could any Everlark shipper not? That being said, I think the best way for me to do this would be to not follow my normal format and just switch viewpoints as needed. I hope this doesn't get confusing, but I will always put in italics whose viewpoints I am writing in. So onwards we go, because we have a wedding to attend!_

_Katniss:_

The sun shines in as it has many times before, but today is different. It's my wedding day. A wave of nervousness and panic hits me as I sit up. I look around the room, almost as if to find a place to escape, but realize that no one would let me escape. I was never good when I knew I would be a focus of attention, which is rather funny given how much attention I have had since I was 16. I hear a knock on my door and it slowly opens. My mother peeks her head in my room to see if I was awake.

"Good morning, Katniss. We have breakfast ready for you when you come downstairs." she says smiling at me. My stomach flips at the thought of eating. She sees my expression and sits down on the bed. "Are you alright?" she asks, clearly worried.

"I'm fine, just really nervous for some reason." I answer her. She starts to rub my hair, and pulls me into an embrace.

"Of course you are. Every bride is nervous on her wedding day. I remember mine, and I didn't feel like I would be able to go through with it." I stare at her surprised. I could never imagine her being nervous to marry my father; I always remembered them so happy. "Do me a favor. Close your eyes for a moment and think about Peeta. How do you feel?"

I close my eyes and bring Peeta to the front of my mind. As soon as I do, I feel less on edge and more calm. I think of his eyes, his lips, and his body; how I feel when he holds me. "I feel much better." I tell her. "I think I can make it out of the room now."

Together we go downstairs, where everyone is gathered over breakfast. Johanna, Effie, Flavius, Venia, Octavia, my mother, and I eat our breakfast while we go over the day. I would be taking Venia and Octavia with me to my old house, while Flavius has volunteered to help Peeta. Johanna would make sure that Haymitch was actually awake and proper, and Effie would be at the Justice Building making sure everything went on time. She kept looking at her watch and telling us there wouldn't be much time if we kept sitting around. My dress was already in my old room, and we headed over there before Effie picked us up and dragged all of us.

Venia and Octavia helped me in the dress, which still amazed me when I saw all of the lights shining off it. They put on some makeup, not a lot, as was the practice back when they would get me ready for things before. I looked at myself in the mirror, surprised at how pure I looked. You wouldn't think that I had been through two Hunger Games and a revolution. They kept saying how happy they were for me, and how much they had wanted to see this day. Together they left to get the last thing I needed, while my mother worked on my hair. She started putting it the special braided style, but she was also weaving in some of the primroses from the front of my house. I looked to my left and saw Buttercup sitting there, just watching us. I felt my eyes watering, but I didn't cry. I put my hand down, and Buttercup came over and just rubbed against it. I felt between the flowers and Buttercup that Prim was still here, with us. I could feel the purring and I looked down at him. "Thank you, Buttercup." I whispered to him.

My mother completed her task and together we stood looking in the mirror. Buttercup came and sat between us and I almost couldn't believe it was myself staring back at me. She fixed the veil over my head, and my transformation was complete. This time it wasn't for a fight to the death, or for a revolution. This time was solely for me and Peeta.

_Peeta:_

I hear a knock at the door and open it to find Flavius. I could barely eat anything this morning; I was so excited that the day had come. He was like a ball of energy, going through the house and telling me he was going to get me ready. I didn't think I had that much prep to do, and seeing him here doing prep team things hurt my heart for my lost team and Portia. He quickly had me in my white suit, fixed a primrose on my lapel and started styling my hair.

"You are so much easier than Katniss! I lucked out having you today." He said winking at me.

"How is she?" I asked him. Part of me would always be worried up until the moment that she wouldn't show up; that this had all been some hallucination on my part. I knew it wasn't the case, but to be standing here, on this day, it just felt surreal.

"Oh, she is like every bride. Nervous, excited, you know." He mentioned it like I had known a hundred brides before, which to him would seem normal. "You, dear boy, are ready, and right on time! Effie will be so proud of us!"

At this point, I knew I had to get to the Justice Building. There I would wait, which Katniss made the walk through the village. There were so many people I wish could have been here with us on this day. I couldn't start thinking of all those that we lost. We would remember them always, and in my heart I felt like they were here with us, in spirit. We started our walk, with Johanna catching up to us.

"Wow. You look really good, Mellark." There was no sarcasm, though I kept waiting for a remark from her, something that would be typical Johanna. Nothing came after so I just smiled at her and gave her my thanks. I asked if we could make a quick deviation from our path and they agreed. I could hear Flavius whispering about a schedule, and Johanna telling him we would be fine and we had plenty of time.

I stopped in front of where the bakery once stood, my old home. I had to stop here on my way; to pay my respects. My relationship with my mother was not the best, but she was my mother, and I still wished she and my father, my brothers, my family could be here with me today. I know how proud my father would be, how happy he would be that I was able to marry the woman I loved. I stayed silent for a bit, head bowed, and Jo explained to Flavius why we had stopped. They both took a few steps back and gave me my space.

When I was ready, I joined them back on the path. As we got closer to the Justice Building I could see the chairs and people already taking seats. I saw Gale and Anne, sitting in the front. Gale stood up and came over to me, embracing me. "I really am happy for the both of you. I can't imagine anyone better for Catnip than you. Listen, I don't know if you have anyone to stand up with you, but if you would like, I would be proud." It was customary for family to stand with the ones being married, and with mine being gone, I wouldn't have anyone.

"I would be the honored one, and I am sure Katniss would also appreciate you standing with us." I said, thanking him. I also ask Johanna to stand with us as well, since really, we all make up a dysfunctional family. She nods, though I can tell the thought makes her slightly nervous. She was never one for crowds either. I can hear Effie in the background, yelling for places and preparing everything at the front. I head over and see Sae, dressed, holding the District 12 history book where all marriages, births, and deaths are recorded. I stare at it, surprised.

"How did that make it?" I asked, not believing what I was seeing.

"Actually, the old one didn't. I brought a new one with me when I came." said a voice from behind me. Plutarch was there and shaking my hand. He had Caesar with him, who also came over and shook my hand.

"Peeta, I am so happy to see you here today. To be able to see this. I always believed in you two." he tells me.

Everyone is taking their seats and I stand with Sae, Gale, and Jo waiting to see Katniss at any moment. My heart can't stop beating so hard.

_Katniss:_

I look to my mother, who is all that is left with me and remark to her that I think my heart is going to beat out of my chest when I hear the knock on the door. My mother and I walk down the stairs, Buttercup following, and answer the door.

"Damn, sweetheart! I think you may break the entire town's heart today marrying that boy. You look amazing." Haymitch tells me, handing me my last piece. It was a bouquet of wildflowers, something so I could feel a piece of Rue with me today. "You ready?"

"About as ready as I am going to be." I say as I try not to pass out. My mother leads us, Haymitch taking my arm and walking me down. I am grateful he is there, because I don't think I would have been able to hold myself up. As we head out of the Victor's Village, there is a musician playing the traditional 12 wedding song as we walk. The closer we get, the faster my heart pounds. I clutch Haymitch's arm for support, and he holds me in place. "Any last advice?" I ask him, attempting to calm down.

"Stay alive." He says without missing a beat. "Just be happy, sweetheart. You both deserve it."

We near the building now, and I can see the chairs. They are full of people, and I can't make anyone out. It is all a blur to me as I get closer, and then I see him. He is standing there, with Jo and Gale, and absolutely beautiful. The sun radiates off of his hair. I see him talking to Sae, then turning his head slowly.

_Peeta:_

I see her coming down and I can't breathe. My heart stops in my throat as I see her approaching. I have never seen anyone so beautiful, so full of light. She is surrounded by it, as if she herself is giving off the light that surrounds us all. Nothing I could have imagined ever would have prepared me for this. I hear the song now, I see her mother and Buttercup, Haymitch, but no one else can hold my attention except for her. I know I am supposed to wait for her to reach me, but I can't help myself and instinctively walk towards her. Her mother smiles at me and moves to the side. I reach Haymitch and ask him if it is okay if I walk with her the rest of the way. He smiles at me and places her arm in mine.

"You take care of each other. I know you will." Haymitch says as he takes his seat.

There isn't much time for me to say anything to her, but I look at her in awe. "You are stunning." I tell her, kissing her hand. We walk to the front and when there, placed side by side, Johanna comes over and takes our right hands and binds them in twine, which is a District 7 tradition. Effie comes over and places a woven net around our shoulders, as done in District 4, while blotting our lips with salt water.

Sae starts the traditional 12 ceremony, talking about love and life, families and communities. How this day is meant to be joyous as we are celebrating a continuation of all of life's important values. How we will support each other for eternity. After the speech is done, I turn to Katniss, ready to make my own tradition.

"Katniss Everdeen, soon to be Katniss Mellark, the odds are finally in our favor. I can't tell you how long I have waited for this day, and how many times I thought you would never be standing here next to me. I never gave up hope though, and I am grateful that you never did either. I will always be humbled by the fact that you fell in love with me, and we truly have taken this journey together. You may have been a symbol for most, but for me, you have always been the girl I loved, the girl I just wanted to say hello too, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I promised you always before, and I promise it now."

I can hear people crying in the background, but I can't even look away from her to see what is going on. There is only her. There has only ever been her. I see her face, her eyes watering and a tear fall down. I use my free hand to wipe it away. I smile at her, hoping it was alright with her that I said something.

_Katniss:_

When he finishes his words, I feel a tear slip out. He gently wipes it away and I compose myself. I look in his eyes, his ocean eyes, and forget there is anyone else in the world with us now.

"Peeta Mellark, the boy who stood by me from the beginning. I never understood why it seemed so much focus was on me when it was always you who made me shine from the beginning. The odds will always be in my favor as long as you are with me. I know life may be difficult with me at times, but that has never stopped you from showing me that you were always going to be there, no matter how hard it would be. You once said that no one needed you, and I told you that I did. I hope you know that I meant every word I have told you. I need you; I have always needed you. I love you. I love how you have shown me how the world can be with your gentle spirit. I am so thankful every day that you love me and that you allowed me to love you back."

We stood there together, until Sae asked us to provide our symbol of love. We exchanged rings, and Sae announced our unity official. Johanna came over and untied our hands, and Peeta cupped my face with his hands and brought his lips gently to mine.

The crowd cheered around us and the traditional song was played again as we walked back in procession to our house. Once there, he picked me up, carrying me over the threshold as more cheering came. People piled in as together we made our fire, and Gale and Effie both approached, handing us a loaf of bread. We cut our slice and toasted it in the fire, and shared it. We then cut more slices and toasting them together handed them out to our family.

Effie embraced us both, telling us how proud she was and how beautiful we looked together. She was crying, everyone was crying around us. I wondered how I could have ever been nervous, looking at Peeta. I felt like my life has always belonged with him, and I was surprised at how long it took me to even understand that. As if reading my thoughts he kissed me and twirled me around. There was a party in the Village for the entire day, with musicians and food, dancing.

At one point, Gale took me out to dance. It was a slower song, and as he held me I could feel nothing but love coming from him. There was no anger undertones, so unlike the Gale I once knew. "I'm so happy for you, Catnip. You are beautiful, you know that?" he whispers to me.

"I had a lot of help in that area." I tell him, laughing.

"No, it's you. It's what Peeta does for you. There's a look in your eye, a glow to you when you look at him. He makes you shine. I could see it in the arena and I am sorry I was such an ass for so long." He sounds sad, not jealous, but just sad.

"Oh, Gale, you were and are my best friend. We were both asses, so let's just be from now on." I say kissing his cheek. "Anne seems really nice."

"She is. I think you would really like her. I know it has been a bit crazy for you, but once everything has calmed down, it would be nice to have you both over to 2 for a visit." He tells me. It would so strange to see Gale in a home other than 12, but I know that to make relationships work, both people have to work on it. I know this now, through my time with Peeta.

"I think that is a great idea." I tell him honestly. The dance ends, and I ended up dancing with everyone around in a District 12 traditional dance. I think I am starting to get dizzy when I end up back in Peeta's arms, him holding me tightly.

_Peeta:_

The dancing doesn't seem to be slowing down and I feel a tap on my shoulder to see Katniss's mother. "Mrs. Everdeen, would you like to dance with me?" I ask her, holding out my hand. She takes my hand and we soon are spinning around with the others.

"Thank you, Peeta. Thank you for returning my daughter, many times." She whispers to me.

"Oh, she did all the work herself; and she has also been here for me, during my times. I think the worst is behind us." I tell her, smiling. I do believe that we have made it through the worst of what the Capitol has done to us.

"I was never sure I would ever see this day with Katniss. She was so hard, and so cold. I didn't help, and it hurt to think that I had made her that way. I know other things contributed, but I was really concerned she wouldn't recover from the stress of it all. You helped her through that with your love. She is a different girl now; she reminds me of the girl she was when her father was alive." She is starting to tear up, and I could understand her pain.

"I know you will probably never come her to live again, but I do hope you will come and visit. We would both really like that." I say. I know it's true for both Katniss and myself, even if Katniss wouldn't say it.

She smiles at me, and kisses me on the cheek, and spins me right into Katniss's arms. We smile at each other and I hold her tightly.

"Are you ready to head in?" I ask her, knowing she must be exhausted. "You know it's going to take us an hour of saying good night to people before we are left alone."

"I agree, Mr. Mellark." Katniss says to me, giving me the opportunity to announce that we were going to head in. Soon we are surrounded by everyone giving us well wishes, promises to see them off tomorrow, the normal jokes about the first night. Katniss's mother hugs us both tight and promises to see us in the morning. As the crowd starts to thin, off against one of the other houses, we see Haymitch, Johanna, and Effie, all three with glasses, giving us a salute, glasses in the air. We put our hands in the air to them, silently thanking them for all they have done for us today. We say a special goodnight to Sae for heading the ceremony for us and she just laughs and kisses us both.

We enter our house, fire still glowing, and we sit on the couch together. I grab a bottle of wine and open it, pouring out a little for us.

"Mrs. Mellark, to our forever." I say, raising my glass to her.

"Mr. Mellark, to our always." She answers, glasses clinking together. We each sip and fold into each other, watching the fire and lost in our thoughts. Soon, we stand up and I put out the fire. She takes my hand and leads me upstairs. I help her out of her dress and undo her hair, taking out the flowers. I also undress and together we climb into bed.

Our lives, finally one, can truly begin.

_And there we have it! I hope it wasn't too confusing and as always, please let me know what you think! I would really like to know what you think of this chapter since it was one I was really looking forward to writing. Thank you so much for all of your support! _


End file.
